Thanh Nguyen, trauma Therapist and social worker. Thanh has a big passion for emotional trauma recovery in therapy. She has experience working in addiction, mental health and trauma recovery. She is the founder of Embracing Us Counselling. Her missions: create a group of people who are healed from trauma to have a fulfilling life with their loved ones.
Thanh Nguyen, Therapist
Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
My name is Thanh Nguyen, a mental health social worker in Melbourne, Australia, and the founder of Embracing Us Counselling. I was born in Vietnam, and currently, I am living in Melbourne, Australia. As a child, I was always curious about the human mind and emotions, wondering whether, as I grew up, I could have a job helping people and be well-compensated for it. I was a sensitive and intuitive kid, but unfortunately, life experiences and trauma forced me to shut down those aspects. I learned that it was not safe to trust my judgment and intuition growing up. I lost touch with my voice and concealed all of my painful emotions beneath my logical and analytical mind. I developed a tough exterior to protect my wounded heart. However, life was kind to me and guided me back to my true self.
I was a curious kid who wondered about the bigger world out there and believed that one day, I would be free and independent at the age of 8. Trauma and hope are two sides of the same coin. Because of the desire to be free, I decided to come to Australia to study and migrate there when I was 17. Life guided me to choose social work, even though I had plenty of options for migration purposes. Maybe the seed of helping people had always been there in my mind all the way along.
At the age of 17, the seed of common humanity, compassion, and loving kindness was watered by life again and kept growing bigger in my heart. Thank you, my 17-year-old self, for being a huntress and a warrior. Little did I know that Australia would create a wiser, stronger, and more loving version of me. So one day, I would be able to come back to rescue the little parts of me that still stuck and frozen in the trauma time.
I started my social work career in addiction recovery as an alcohol and drug counsellor for 2 years after my graduation. From my working experience, I could see that the majority of people struggling with addictions have underlying unresolved complex trauma in their lives. Addressing addictions without tackling trauma is a significant missing piece of the whole picture. Many people experienced relapses, going in and out of withdrawal and rehab centers. I became very curious about this and wondered why. I delved deeper into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, attempting to experiment with and utilize them with my clients. However, I still felt like something was missing. I wanted to assist my clients, yet I felt stuck and helpless because I didn't fully understand trauma, its impact on the brain, and the nervous system at that time. Life continued to guide me and show me the way. My co-worker, a psychologist, sensed my trauma symptoms through some of my jokes about relationships and commitment to a family. Thankfully, he was very brave and honest, suggesting that perhaps I should seek EMDR therapy to address some of my childhood attachment traumas
I contemplated seeking help for some time and eventually opened up to it. At that point, in my mind, I was a high-functioning, busy, ambitious, career-oriented single woman who maintained complete control over her life. I worked full-time and spent weekends in a restaurant to save up for a house, striving to establish stability and control for myself. Living alone in an apartment, I went the gym nearly every day, engaging in high-intensity and heavy weight-lifting workouts. I provided myself with what my inner child needed: freedom, independence, stability, exploration, personal space, and abundance. Yet, I disregarded her need for a deep, meaningful connection with another human being. Every Friday night, I felt profoundly lonely in my apartment after work, attempting to convince myself that I didn't need a connection and that I could be okay on my own. Fortunately, just before COVID, I adopted Leafy – my cat. She became one of my initial connections, teaching me to feel completely safe again in relationship. I adore her with every fiber of my being, and because of her, I adopted a vegetarian diet during the two years of lockdown and COVID.
I finally attended and tried EMDR after it was suggested to me. I started by revisiting my youngest and most traumatic memory at the age of four, when I experienced physical abuse. EMDR amazed me and taught me how to safely reconnect with my body, establishing a new relationship with it for the first time. Despite my resistance, my walls and defenses collapsed. I felt shocked, disbelieving, scared, and dissociated. My body trembled, jerked involuntarily, and tears flowed; I experienced heat surging throughout my chest and even burping from my stomach. It was as if all the unpleasant emotions were physically leaving my body. During EMDR, I felt angry, sad, and grieved for quite some time. For the first time, I comprehended how intelligent and remarkable my body had been in protecting me over the years while carrying the weight of trauma in my wounded heart. Finally, I found the courage to revisit the traumatic time and rescue the little me. Life has provided me with the strength and capacity to achieve this. Gradually, I felt more integrated, whole again, and closer to being myself
EMDR has been a breakthrough in my personal healing and professional career. I began training in EMDR and delved into other body and somatic work. EMDR serves as a foundational step for my other bodywork practices, such as yoga, breathwork, and meditation. Through these practices, I've learned to trust my body's signals—whether it's a need to stretch, shake, cry, hum, or move—during meditation and breathwork. I allow my body to guide me toward healing and releasing stagnant, stressful energy accumulated after a challenging day or event.
Furthermore, I started delving deeper into mental health diagnoses and exploring their narratives with my clients. Coping with trauma is challenging, and the healing journey isn't straightforward. I've been fortunate to support many clients in finding their feet again after experiencing traumatic injuries. Witnessing their progress as they soar and flourish brings me immense gratitude. It's been a blessing to hold space for them during their darkest times
Can you provide an overview of the mission and purpose behind Embracing Us? What inspired you to start this venture?
Our mission at Embracing Us Counseling:
To raise awareness of trauma in the mental health field.
To give back to the community by providing a therapeutic, evidence-based, and compassionate service.
To empower individuals with their healing and boundaries.
To cultivate a community of individuals healed from trauma, enabling them to lead fulfilling lives with their loved ones.
What inspired me to embark on this journey is my desire to assist people and gain more freedom in my life to be with my family. Ultimately, I aspire to become a mother, and I hope to structure my business in a way that allows me to be present for my children, not missing any milestones as they grow. Research emphasizes the significance of a mother's presence in a child's life – being there to offer support, guidance, and love. This motivation fuels my pursuit of becoming a therapreneur, despite the challenges in entrepreneurship. The goal is to facilitate my children's development, nurturing empathy, self-worth, and emotional intelligence with my consistent presence. Trauma impacts children not only due to the events they've experienced but also because of the isolation and loneliness that they often can't share with anyone. I would like to be there for my kids during tough times, providing them with a supportive shoulder to lean on, embracing them with love, understanding, compassion, and guidance
Your business mentions that you offer trauma therapy. Could you elaborate on the services you provide and how they can benefit individuals and couples?
At this stage, my niche and passion is working one-on-one with female clients grappling with trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I utilize various modalities such as CBT, ACT, and EMDR to guide my clients on their healing journeys. Nevertheless, a significant part of this work involves helping clients to understand the connection between their minds, emotions, and bodies.
In our society, there's a tendency to prioritize logic over emotions and productivity over rest and relaxation. Because of that, many individuals have learned to suppress their emotions, resulting in a disrupted relationship with their bodies. I firmly believe that emotions and bodily sensations play crucial roles in our lives. Unfortunately, when people shut down unpleasant emotions through distractions, addiction, or numbness, they're unable to experience the genuine bliss, happiness, and joy life has to offer.
My primary focus is helping individuals feel secure enough to reconnect with their amazing bodies through self-love and self-acceptance. Engaging in trauma work assists them in achieving clarity, calmness, insight, and intuition. I hope that with the right support and compassion, client will be able learn to open their hearts, allowing healing to happen on their past traumatic experiences, helping them to rediscover the beauty and wonder of life.
What sets Embracing Us Counselling apart from other services? Are there specific approaches or philosophies that guide your work?
We believe that humans are capable of change and thrive with the right and relevant support. We believe in an opened minded society that is well educated about mental health and wellbeing. We believe in a world of healing and humanity and it is important to start with ourselves first so our future generation and our community can reap what we sow.
We focus on therapeutic authenticity and humanity to hold a space for your human sufferings in our sessions. However, we also keep in mind the importance of results and goals in therapy as a necessary outcome for clients to develop confidence and autonomy in themselves. Safety and connection are prioritized first in our session. Because without safety and connection, we can’t go further to do the work.
I am also finding ways to raise more mental health and therapy awareness in my Vietnamese community. The stigma about mental health is still quite strong in Vietnamese culture and it is common for them to expect that they will ‘get fixed’ in one or 2 sessions given they have so many integrational traumas there. Therapy is a journey, pretty much like fitness, you need to learn to train your brain and nervous system to hold whatever life may throw at you. Over time, when you look back, you can see your solid endurance, persistence and amazing resilience during the up and down of life with pride 😊
Tell us about your greatest career achievement so far.
I think my client’s dedication and commitment to do this work and they keep coming back to show their determination and their willingness to embrace the journey is my greatest career achievement so far. To be able to sit there patiently and believe that they will change and hold all of the pain with them is my greatest career achievement. To care for them not only like a therapist but also a human being is my greatest career achievement. To laugh with them, to cry with them, to grieve and feel with them is my greatest career achievement. They don’t know that when I heal them, I heal so many traumatic wounds in me. When I reassure them with loving words, I am also speaking to my wounded chid who once felt unwanted and unloved. When I encourage them to try a little bit harder, I also motivate a part of me that wants to give up every now and then. When I am patient with them, I am also understanding for the part of me that is not ready yet. When I see the positive change in them happening, I also can connect and smile at the part of me that can recover and transform with hope in the future. When I feel down, their resilience reminds that yes, life is hard but it is possible at times.
Thank you to all of my clients, all of you are my biggest career achievement even though there are times I make mistakes, I mis attune with you, and I lack patience because I want the good outcomes happens so bad for you to ‘get rid’ of your suffering. I am so sorry, I realised that can’t do it for you and I need to learn that this is your journey and you will get there eventually at your own pace. You teach me so much to become a better therapist for you, a better friend for my friends, a better lover for my partner, a better daughter for my parents, better sister for my sibling. Yes, I am still learning and will be making mistakes and will learn again but Thank you! Thank you for giving me such a tremendous amount of privilege just to be there for you, to hold you, and to embrace with you .
Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today.
2023 has been a big year with more healing and more transformation for me. I heard and studied a lot about intergenerational trauma and how that was passed down from generation to generation before. But this year, I was able to really feel deeply in my core my grandmother and my mother’s pain – fear of being abandoned and rejected and unworthiness. I was able to feel their pain when I somehow connected somatically through my womb with gentle touching and rubbing. It was a lightbulb moment and everything just made sense. I was able to feel the collective pain of women in general, women whose voice was suppressed and whose rights were oppressed throughout centuries, women who were made feel unworthy and unlovable. This makes me understand the negative impact of the message that I received while growing up being a woman, how I learned to hate my body and menstruation, and how I was so disconnected from my body, my cycle, and my womb. My period used to be so inconsistent and up and down, my body was constantly stressed because I was addicted to constantly being on the go. I was so fixated on my goal and vision and neglected the deep need for connection and rest. I used to compete with men and thought that I could do it all, this left me in a state of hyper-independence and feeling unsafe in their presence and unsafe in my feminine core.
When I realized that, I just broke down and burst into tears. I felt so much of women’s pain and their energy in my field, my mother my grandmother, and other women at some points were really in deep pain… and somehow I was feeling and transforming that in me. It was bizarre but so magical. Now I have learned to appreciate my menstruation and womb and learn the power of being a woman in different archetypes. My period, my relaxation, my state of mind, and my body started to be more in sync. Period now is the magical time for me to slow down, to reflect, to shed, and to let go of what does not serve me anymore. So thankful that I have the beautiful presence of my therapist to hold me in this pain and witness the transformation. I know that when I heal myself, I heal my ancestors and my future generation. My relationship with my parents is improving and getting better also.
This year. Yeah something about 2023 ???, I also needed to go through a difficult medical procedure to examine my cervix, the experience was so unpleasant to the point that I just screamed and cried in distress in the clinic then I dissociated. Luckily, I was in the hands of a very caring and supportive female doctor who was so patient with me. It took me a few days to recover emotionally and then my curiosity kicked in and more learning for me. This brings me more questions about my body and women who have sexual trauma and how trauma can impact women’s private part and their pleasure and intimacy. Because I am curious, now I am on a new journey of learning more about sex, pleasure, and trauma.
For some reason, the theme of this year for me is femininity, voice, anger, sexual trauma, healing, and pleasure. I guess life is taking me to an unknown but exciting territory to explore. I do believe that when a woman is healed, the next 3 of her generation will reap what she sow. I visualize the future where children will be raised and loved with care, nurture, understanding, and permission to be themselves in the loving, gentle, and strong presence of women and men. I see a beautiful world ahead of us. I see a positive future for humanity in spite of what is happening with the world right now. Healing can be spread. Love and humanity are contagious. Once you taste it, you can’t forget it.
I would not be able to be here without support from my dearest friends, family and co-workers. When you ask me about the pivotal moment that brought me to where I am today, there are a bunch of memories coming into my mind, which I was held, supported, and loved so dearly. Life is hard and challenging sometimes, yes I am a therapist and I know what I need to do to cope to self-regulate (laugh). But there is something amazingly different with the amount of loving felt sense that my friends and family can give me, especially when I can share the hard times of my life with them. I love it when they look into my eyes with so much love and compassion, they hold me close to my heart and tell me that it would be okay and that they trust me. That is very healing for me, and without them, I will not learn to trust myself enough to just keep going through the highs and lows of life.
Inspired by the work of Dr Bruce Perry:
‘Surprisingly, it is often when wandering through the emotional carnage left by the worst of humankind that we find the best of humanity as well… Fire can warm or consume, water can quench or drown, wind can caress or cut. And so it is with human relationships: we can both create and destroy, nurture and terrorize, traumatize and heal each other’ – The boy was raised by a dog written by Dr Bruce Perry
So allow me to take you through your beautiful healing journey with our therapeutic relationship! I can’t wait to see you. Please visit my website and Instagram. Feel free to connect with me and reach out to ask any questions or support if you need to. Looking forward to hearing from you and working with you.
To go fast, you go alone. To go far, you need some companionship.
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