Written by Latasha Nicole Phillips, Life Purpose Coach
SoulFlwr LLC is a sacred service-oriented business with a focus on assisting those who come in contact with personal development progression with a focus on the self.
Do you wrestle with constantly seeking external approval, feeling overly reliant on others' opinions, or changing your behavior to please others? Do you have an intense fear of disagreement, feel insecure when not receiving praise, or have a hard time accepting compliments? These struggles can create a general lack of confidence in our own decisions or abilities, crippling us on a mental, emotional, physical, and (if you ascribe) spiritual level.
Affirmations are positive antidotes to the negative self-talk and untruths we tell ourselves, which keep us from stepping into self-love and acceptance. Here are some general affirmations we can adopt in our daily routines to assist with validating ourselves instead of waiting for others to do so.
I am good
Those of us who struggle with guilt and shame can benefit from this affirmation. If you have a fear of being “bad,” corrupt, evil, or defective in any way, this affirmation will help. Those of us who struggle with anger can also benefit.
This self-validation deficit usually comes from a strong desire to have integrity. Those of us who struggle with this sort of validation may be critical of ourselves and others. We may also be prone to perfectionism. This refusal to accept anything outside of our ideal outcomes can cause insecurities. By being intentional when saying this affirmation, we can replace our negative self-talk with a greater truth: we are good.
I am wanted
Some of us have past experiences that have convinced us we are unworthy of being loved. This is an epidemic in our society and has been for quite some time. It often has roots in childhood experiences but can begin at any stage of development.
An unhealthy expression of this is when our desire to be loved becomes so prominent that we develop issues like codependency. While it is natural for us to want to be needed, we must build a healthy and strong foundation of worthiness within ourselves. As with all things in personal development, everything, including mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual growth, begins with the self. When we embrace ourselves, we are not only wanted but naturally loved.
I am loved for me
Sometimes, we receive the message that we must wear a mask or modify ourselves to fit in with our peers and loved ones. Often, we develop these deep insecurities about our self-worth due to negative comparisons or misinterpreted experiences. This creates a fear of being worthless and without inherent value.
Let us clear up one thing: we are all valuable simply because we exist. There are no other requirements. By embracing this truth along with this affirmation, we are well on our way to a healthier way of being. This is why we are loved for who we are.
I am seen for who I am
This affirmation can help those of us who fear not having an identity in the world or feeling insignificant. Many people in this category have various gifts and talents to share. They often feel deeply and are criticized for their sensitive natures. They may also be exceptionally smart in their own element, which can intimidate others. Those who resonate with this affirmation may also struggle with codependency.
It is important to love and accept ourselves because people will misunderstand us, and that is okay. Misperception is only harmful when we embrace it, not when it is projected onto us. To truly be seen for who we are, we must first see ourselves. This affirmation helps us do just that.
My needs are valid
Some of us do not want to burden others. While this can be a healthy trait, it becomes unhealthy when we avoid asking for help, even to our detriment, because it makes us feel useless, incapable, or incompetent. This mindset is unacceptable and detrimental to personal growth on all levels.
This affirmation builds our courage not only to take care of our needs but also to ask for help when necessary. Our needs are not a problem; it is merely our perception that tells us they are.
I am safe
Many clients we encounter struggle with feeling safe and secure in their bodies and environments. They have a strong desire for security, which can lead to distrust or fear of being without support and guidance. Trauma, a distressed reaction to an event with lasting effects, often links to this type of fear. Any distress, however, can create a negative core belief about safety, especially for those who were victims of abuse, including narcissistic or authority abuse.
We recommend this affirmation to anyone who suffers from trauma. Saying it consistently with intention and compassion can help calm the parasympathetic nervous system. Pair this affirmation with intentional deep breathing and supplemental resources for optimal healing. We are safe.
I have the support and provision that I need
This affirmation reminds me of clients with what we call “monkey mind.” Their thoughts race constantly, sometimes even at bedtime. This relentless mind racing can be crippling, leading to indecisiveness and procrastination. Those with an addictive personality or general unhappiness can also heal by using this affirmation with intention.
A clear mind is essential for finding solutions. Worry, though seemingly productive, is a placeholder emotion that keeps us dormant. This affirmation keeps us aligned with self-confidence and resilience. We are supported.
I am surrounded by trustworthy individuals
People who resonate with this affirmation often struggle with vulnerability. They may have strong personalities or appear intuitive about their external environment. Hypervigilance often stems from past experiences of facing life alone or betrayal from a loved one, which creates anxiety about trusting others again.
While it is logical to maintain boundaries, it is also healing to seek new opportunities in people, places, and experiences that inspire us to rebuild trust. With this intention, this affirmation can help us heal and create optimal opportunities for vulnerability and growth.
I matter
This affirmation encapsulates all others. We matter because we exist. No further explanation is needed.
This truth benefits everyone, but especially those who fear losing connection or being broken by others. It helps develop the inner peace we all desire. Despite what anyone thinks, says, feels, or does, our presence matters.
Embrace kind & loving speech
Though affirmations are consciously spoken, they are most effective in the subconscious. Much of our personal power lies in areas of our awareness we often overlook. Affirmations help us create a healthier relationship with ourselves so we can show up as empowered individuals.
These statements can be used in any situation to achieve any goal. Practice the affirmation that resonates most with you, with intentional self-compassion and kindness. The rewards will come in due time.
The most challenging part is to be patient with yourself and replace self-criticism with affirmations. Avoid perfectionism; it is poison to self-validation. The more validation that leads to self-love and acceptance we can embrace, the better.
Read more from Latasha Nicole Phillips
Latasha Nicole Phillips, Life Purpose Coach
Latasha Phillips & Shawn Cross are African American female leaders in mastery learning and meditation fields who assist others in personal development and self-improvement endeavours. They have two decades of experience with various tools and resources that they currently use to live lives of inner peace and fulfillment. They created Soulflwr LLC as a sacred service to all who are ready to heal their past and themselves.
