Written by: Laurie Bedard, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As the New Year dawns, many of us set resolutions with an aim to improve our lives, a common goal that often tops these lists is the pursuit of personal peace. There should be no doubt that making peace a priority on your resolution list is a worthy endeavor, however it is important to note, this aspiration, though deeply enriching, may come intertwined with various emotional, financial, and societal costs.
In popular culture, the concept of finding personal peace is frequently oversimplified. Memes and inspirational quotes often reduce the complex journey to tranquility to simplistic terms, creating unrealistic expectations. These portrayals rarely acknowledge the true depth and darkness that often accompany the sacrifices, nor resilience required to create an environment for this peaceful existence. The struggles involved in distancing oneself from toxic environments or the daunting task of reshaping one’s life and priorities are often overlooked.
Emotional and social costs: Leaving toxicity behind
One of the most difficult aspects leading to emotional turmoil in the journey to peace is the decision to leave toxic relationships, including those with family members. This step, while it may be essential for mental well-being, often comes with deep emotional turmoil, guilt, and social stigma. The process of severing ties with family or long-term relationships can lead to loneliness, misunderstanding from others leading to further isolation, and a gaping sense of loss. However, this emotional cost is frequently necessary to escape cycles of negativity and to begin healing. The emotional investment one has in these often-long-standing relationships makes the decision to leave incredibly challenging, often leading to a period of grief and self-doubt.
Financial costs: The trade-offs for mental health
In the realm of professional life, many face the dilemma of staying in high-paying, or secure but emotionally draining jobs. The financial benefits or the safety of such positions are often offset by the high cost of emotional burnout, stress, and the gradual erosion of personal peace. Making the decision to leave a such a job or career for the sake of one's mental health is a formidable challenge, underscored by financial insecurities and societal pressures to succeed.
The oversimplification of the journey
Social media, movies, and self-help books frequently depict inner peace as an easily attainable state, achieved through quick fixes or superficial means. This portrayal neglects the often challenging process involved, including the need for uncomfortable introspection, the confrontation of past traumas, and the restructuring of life priorities. By presenting a sanitized, effortless route to peace, popular culture fails to acknowledge the real work and dedication required.
Commercialization of peace
The wellness industry has capitalized on the pursuit of peace, turning it into a commercial commodity. Expensive retreats, wellness products, and subscription-based meditation apps are marketed as essential tools for achieving peace within. This commercialization not only commodifies peace but also implies that it is a luxury accessible primarily to those who can afford these resources, thereby excluding and alienating others.
Idealization and the pressure to be peaceful
Popular culture often idealizes a constant state of peace and calm, creating unrealistic standards and pressures. This portrayal can lead individuals to feel inadequate or unsuccessful if they experience stress, anxiety, or other normal emotional fluctuations. It promotes a narrative where being at peace is the norm rather than an undulating state, contributing to feelings of failure when one's emotional experience doesn’t align with these quixotic standards. Even after the people and things that cause us turmoil and pain are purged, the sense of peace, calm or tranquility is always vacillating and we must lean on the hard lessons learned and coping skills developed along the way to restore balance, sometimes daily.
Achieving inner peace is a journey
As many people include finding inner peace as a New Year resolution it's crucial to approach this goal with a realistic understanding of the potential costs involved. The path to peace demands more than just a surface-level commitment; it requires a deep and sometimes difficult reevaluation of relationships, career choices, and personal values. Those embarking on this journey should be prepared for both the challenges and the worthwhile rewards. Finding inner peace can lead to a more fulfilling and more harmonized life, but it often requires navigating through emotional upheavals, financial adjustments, and societal judgements. As we step into a new year, embracing this goal of attaining inner peace means being ready for a transformative process, one that involves significant changes and sacrifices but ultimately leads to a priceless sense of well-being and balance.
Share your thoughts and experiences with us as you embark on this journey. Connect with me on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Instagram and let's continue the conversation.
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Laurie Bedard, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Laurie Bedard is an experienced educator, certified clinical counselor, and the founder and director of LJB and Associates Counselling services. LJB and Counseling services is a private practice that offers individual counseling, psychoeducational workshops, and co-facilitates neuroscientific mental health retreats in Mexico and Portugal with Anna Li, CEO of Healing Journey Retreats.
As a survivor or childhood sexual abuse, Laurie suffered with anxiety and depression for most of her young life into adulthood. She has devoted her teaching and counseling career to creating a safe space for her clients and/or students to be who they are.
An introvert and deeply introspective, Laurie connects to her spirit and makes sense of the world through her writing. Apart from being an executive contributor with the online magazine Brainz, she writes The Psych Prof blog, and is a contributing author to the book BROKEN: Women Breaking Ancestral Chains and Generational Cycles to Create a Brighter Future Themselves and Their Families
When she isn’t counseling, teaching or writing, you can find her hanging out with her husband and 5 grown boys, snowboarding or hiking.
