Siobhan Copland is a professional matchmaker and dating coach with over a decade experience in the dating industry.
The holiday season is known as the time of good cheer, but being single can bring up feelings of loneliness and isolation for many who may not have the family and or relationship dynamics associated with the time of celebrations and gatherings. Christmas can be a time that creates discomfort around the feeling of not having a significant other to enjoy the festivities with, not to mention the questioning from family members about your relationship status.
It is also a time when engagement announcements see a surge in popularity. And with social media, it's hard not to notice.
Which can be a challenging time emotionally for those who are single and desire partnership.
However, rather than getting stuck in feelings of despair and disappointment this time of year can be an opportunity for reflection, recharging and refocusing.
It is important to acknowledge the way you are feeling
It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions during Christmas. Allow yourself to sit with your feelings, whether it's sadness or even envy. These emotions are valid and acknowledging them is the first step towards coping. Remember, it’s perfectly normal to feel this way during a time that highlights togetherness. You can take time to start journaling, take note of how you are feeling, also make sure you take time to celebrate your small and big wins—an opportunity to process your emotions through writing and sharing your thoughts and feelings. But try not to get stuck on the feeling you are experiencing, feelings come and go as do thoughts.
But it is good to be self-aware enough to admit to yourself that you feel sad about not having a partner and take an opportunity to write down the qualities you feel you have to offer a relationship and what you are ready for. Write down your ideals in a partner and speak in future tense.
Such as “I am looking forward to being in a relationship with is supportive, with a kind loving person who is considerate, self-aware and emotionally available”. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have currently.
Look into manifestation techniques and look at ways in which you work towards manifesting your ideal relationship.
Look at any blocks you may have built up and challenge yourself to be more open about who you might date and meet and grow a connection with. Notice if you have been only considering your usual type and think about whether you could open your preferences so long as it doesn’t go against your core values. If you don’t know what your core values are, take time to try to recognise what they are. Asking friends and family what they consider to be your values can also be a useful exercise.
Reach out to the community this holiday season
If you don’t have a family to spend Christmas with, look at ways you can reach out to people in your network who you can reach out to. See if any other single friends are spending the day alone and consider arranging to meet others on the day. If no one is available consider going on other platforms to see if anyone is up for a singles meet-up on the day, such as Facebook groups, meetup, or city socialiser.
If you can’t find a meetup happening, consider organising something.
And check out events happening over the period, such as singles Christmas parties, which you can find on major event platforms such as Eventbrite, Skiddle and Fatsoma.
Consider volunteering
One way to also alleviate feelings of loneliness Is to be of service to others. There are many charities that welcome volunteers to help at places like homeless shelters. Churches and places of religious worship also often organise food banks and opportunities for those less fortunate to have a hot meal and company for the day. By focusing on others, it redirects your focus and is likely to give you a sense of reward and purpose.
Consider travelling
Travelling of course is a great way to reconnect with yourself, recharge and an opportunity to get away from the Christmas atmosphere that you may not enjoy. Consider going to countries where Christmas is not as highlighted, such as Dubai, Morocco, Thailand, Tunisia or Turkey.
Prioritise self-care
Sometimes self-care is something as simple as taking a social media break, but also just remember to show yourself compassion as you navigate this time of year, spend time doing activities you enjoy, exercise, and eat balanced healthy meals. Take the rest you need, and enjoy quiet time, as well as social time.
And don’t lose hope or faith that you will experience Christmas time happily partnered in the future if that is your desire.
Read more from Siobhan Copland
Siobhan Copland, Matchmaker & Relationship Coach
Siobhan Copland is a dynamic matchmaker and coach, at Cupid in the City, where she combines her passion for connecting people with her expertise in relationship dynamics. With over a decade of experience, she understands the complexities of modern love and has facilitated over 200 successful matches. As a certified relationship coach, Siobhan shares her insights as a speaker at workshops and has been featured in various media outlets, including podcasts.
.jpg)