Written by: Mieke Vander Heyden, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The holiday season, typically a time of joy and togetherness, can be an incredibly challenging period for those grappling with the weight of grief. Whether they've recently lost a loved one, or a beloved pet, endured a breakup, faced job loss, or are navigating the pain of an old wound, the festivities can intensify feelings of loss and loneliness.
If you have a friend or family member who is experiencing grief during Christmas or New Year, your support and empathy can make a world of difference.
Here's a comprehensive guide on how to be there for them during this sensitive time:
1. Open communication: Reach out with care and compassion. Let your loved one know that you're available to listen, talk, or simply be present. Offer a safe space for them to express their feelings without judgment. Sometimes, the simple act of lending an ear can provide immense comfort.
2. Acknowledge their feelings: Recognize that the holidays might be tough for them. Avoid phrases like "you should move on" or "just be happy," as they can invalidate their emotions. Instead, acknowledge their feelings by saying things like, "I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you."
3. Respect their wishes: Everyone copes with grief differently. Some might want to engage in holiday traditions, while others may find it too painful. Respect their choices without making them feel guilty for not participating in festivities.
Sometimes it’s hard to decide when overwhelmed with grief. Find here some tips to support someone who is indecisive:
4. Create new traditions or modify old ones: Offer to create new traditions that honor the memory of the person they've lost. It could be lighting a candle in their honor or preparing their favorite dish. Alternatively, suggest modifying existing traditions to make them more manageable or meaningful.
5. Practical support: Grief can be exhausting, and everyday tasks might seem overwhelming. Offer practical support, such as helping with grocery shopping, cooking, or running errands. Sometimes, small gestures can ease their burden significantly.
6. Be patient and understanding: Grieving is a process that doesn't adhere to a timeline. Be patient and understanding if they seem withdrawn or unresponsive. Give them the space they need while assuring them of your continued support.
In some cases, a grieving person can be more easily triggered. Here is a guide to help them navigate triggers.
7. Offer distractions or outings: Suggest activities or outings that might provide a temporary distraction. It could be a walk in the park, watching a movie, or participating in a low-key event. However, respect their boundaries if they prefer solitude.
8. Include them with sensitivity: If they're open to it, invite them to gatherings or events, but ensure they understand there's no pressure to attend. If they do attend, be mindful of their emotions and provide a comfortable environment.
9. Consider professional help: Encourage seeking professional support if they're struggling to cope. Therapists or grief counselors can offer specialized guidance and coping strategies.
10. Continue support beyond the holidays: Grief doesn't vanish once the holiday season ends. Keep checking in on your loved one in the following weeks and months. Consistent support can make a profound impact on their healing journey.
11. Give them the space they need: Sometimes, a solo-travel can be exactly what they need. A different environment, some distance can do miracles. Don’t think they want to escape, they might need this quality time on their own to find themselves again. Read here how Solo-travel may be beneficial for mental health or watch this motivational speech here:
Remember, your presence and understanding can provide immense solace during this challenging time. Your support, even in the simplest forms, can make a significant difference in helping your loved one navigate their grief during this festive period.
In my practice, there are 5 common types of loss that people are struggling with the most:
Grieving the loss of a loved one
Be an active listener: If they're mourning the loss of a person, offer opportunities to reminisce about the good times and honor the memory.
Be creative and be open to suggestions: Suggest creating a tribute or incorporating their traditions into the holiday season to keep their memory alive.
Grieving the loss of a pet
Losing a beloved pet can be as impactful as losing a family member. To support someone mourning the loss of a pet during Christmas:
Acknowledge the bond: Recognize the deep connection they had with their pet. Encourage them to reminisce about fond memories and the joy their pet brought into their life.
Create a memorial: Help create a memorial, like a photo album or a small garden in honor of their pet. Consider gifting a personalized ornament or a keepsake that symbolizes the special bond they shared.
Respect their grieving process: Understand that some might not feel ready to celebrate. Respect their choice if they'd rather have a quiet holiday season.
Coping with a breakup or divorce
A relationship breakup or divorce can bring its own form of grief. To support someone dealing with this during the holidays:
Offer a judgment-free zone: Allow them to express their feelings about the relationship without passing judgment. Validate their emotions and offer your unwavering support.
Modify traditions or create new ones: Help them navigate through traditions that may be emotionally challenging. Suggest altering these traditions or creating new ones that focus on self-care and personal growth.
Encourage self-care: Recommend activities that promote self-care and healing. This could include spa days, journaling, or engaging in hobbies they enjoy.
Dealing with job loss or financial hardship
The loss of a job or financial instability can bring a different kind of grief. Here's how to support someone facing this situation during the holiday season:
Offer practical assistance: Help them search for job opportunities, review their resume, or connect them with your network. Offer assistance with budgeting or finding resources for financial aid if needed.
Suggest low-cost celebrations: Encourage low-cost or free holiday activities that can help them enjoy the season without adding financial pressure.
Provide emotional support: Offer a listening ear without offering unsolicited advice. Validate their feelings of frustration or uncertainty about the future.
Dealing with a challenging childhood
The wound of a challenging or traumatic childhood can easily be triggered by the holiday season. Witnessing others having cozy family gatherings, while they have never known this warm nest. Feeling this inner loneliness and longing to belong to such a caring environment can be very confronting.
Make them belong: Make them feel loved and cherished as a member of your extended family.
Ask for what they need: Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Avoiding the topic can be more painful. Trust that they will let you know their needs when you ask about it.
Remind them who they are: Also, see them not only in their pain, but also in their strengths, and kindly remind them when they start to doubt themselves. Someone is more than their past. Read more about how they can thrive in life, even with a challenging past, here.
Addressing these varied forms of loss during the holiday season requires sensitivity, empathy, and a willingness to adapt to the individual's needs. Tailoring your support to the specific nature of their grief can make a substantial difference in their healing process.
Addressing these varied forms of loss during the holiday season requires sensitivity, empathy, and a willingness to adapt to the individual's needs. Tailoring your support to the specific nature of their grief can make a substantial difference in their healing process.
Do you want to work with me?
Ask for a free meet & greet session to explore how I can support you in your grieving process here.
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Mieke Vander Heyden, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Mieke Vander Heyden, a leader in Integrative & Creative Art Therapies. It’s her passion to support people to find inner peace & freedom, the key to happiness and harmony all-around. She has helped loads of people over the globe, to reconnect with themselves, support them through difficult life-crisis’s and make the needed adjustments to get on track again, dancing the waves of life. Mieke is the CEO of Moving Hearts Therapy, offering transformational & inner journeys, through Therapy & Coaching, Workshops & Team building, Creative Healing Retreats & Training. Through her own life experience, she is a go-to for nomads, expats, travelers, or people with an alternative lifestyle
