Written by: Jess Frost, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Starting and growing any business is hard. There are ebbs and flows, and some moments where you are unsure how you will bounce back from the difficult moments. I can absolutely understand why so many businesses don’t survive their first year. Stepping into the arena, doing something new and birthing a creation into the world will bring every single insecurity and limiting belief to the surface. Every part of us will grip onto the ‘safety’ of the ‘normal’ and try to keep safe.
Did you know that most of us don’t actually fear failing, we fear SUCCEEDING! I know right?! We subconsciously fear what will happen if we achieve our dreams. Will I lose friends or family? Will I be judged and disliked? Will I lose my identity? Will I become greedy?
It takes a great deal of self-awareness and resilience to keep on chasing your dreams, and I have noticed some of the influential factors in people giving up on their vision and aspirations.
Below are my top 5 reasons why I feel talented people give up on their entrepreneurial dreams:
1. Lack of emotional support and freedom
There’s a wealth of business support available nowadays. Business coaches, mentors and strategists, all claim to offer the secret sauce to success. Granted, some of these services create incredible results, but equally very few of these people are either equipped to or willing to offer the emotional support that we desperately need alongside our venture, especially if you identify as a highly sensitive person. We sometimes lack that safe space to offload, with someone who has the capacity to hold space for us. Emotional support is a vital survival need that many of us didn’t have during childhood due to emotionally unavailable or immature caregivers. We learnt to bottle things up, not ask for our needs to be met and emotionally caretake for everyone else, a survival mechanism that can only work for so long. Emotional freedom allows us to release the emotion as it comes up, creating a healthy flow. When our support systems allow us to show up and express authentically and feel seen, heard and held, we can start to access an inner safety that enables us to navigate the ups and downs of life and business far more calmly.
2. All-or-nothing thinking
All or nothing thinking is incredibly common and is a cognitive distortion that means we are constantly jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. So many of us become fixated on the end goal that we don’t honour the journey. We become the victim of our own hypercritical thinking and shame, which is in itself utterly exhausting. We will hear ourselves say things like “When I have <insert>, I will feel <insert>”, “I am a complete failure”. This way of thinking feeds feelings of lack, which lowers our vibrations to attract the things we claim we want, creating a negative cycle both cognitively and energetically.
3. Lack of consistent reflective practice
The above all-or-nothing thinking leads me nicely to the importance of reflective practice. When we are creating time and space for reflection, we can really start to cultivate that CEO mindset. Rather than falling into that immediate “I have failed” way of thinking, we can start getting curious, and ask questions like “What went well?” “What would I do differently?” “What lessons did I learn?” “What support do I need right now?” When reflective practice also allows for emotional and mental health check-ins, we can take our practice to a whole new level.
4. Avoiding or being unaware of the ‘inner work’.
As I mentioned earlier, starting something new or launching a business will bring up A LOT of stuff from your subconscious mind and trauma body. You will have to face fear and cultivate a new relationship with it. You will likely be getting way out of your comfort zone as you start putting yourself and your business out there for all to see, which for some can feel incredibly unsafe. Therefore, understanding the importance of committing to your inner, subconscious work and healing is such a vital part of the process. I would say 20% of developing a business is the strategy and 80% is mindset, nervous system regulation and resilience. Many of us subconsciously attach our self-worth to the outcome and success of our business, thus providing endless opportunities for self-criticism and punishment when things ‘don’t go to plan’. When you can detach from this unhealthy connection, you really can lean into the CEO growth mindset that breeds success.
5. Needing external validation
This one is sneaky, and many of us won’t even realise we do rely on external validation to feel like we are ‘good enough’ and ‘doing a good job’. Whether it is positive feedback, testimonials, google reviews, sales or the number of followers and likes, we can become easily addicted to this temporary self-esteem boost. When you become a solo entrepreneur or business owner, you immediately remove those feedback opportunities that we naturally get when employed. We can’t rely on the practical and emotional support that we previously gained from a Manager or Leader. We must start cultivating a deep inner connection and safety within ourselves during turbulent times, or times when your business is getting tumbleweed. When you start cultivating a self-belief and resilience to comfort and hold space for yourself through it all, you can really weather the storms in a more grounded and centred way.
Over the last year, I have witnessed many incredibly talented people leave their dreams behind. I have watched beautiful, empathetic souls stop their businesses due to a lack of self-confidence and belief.
Therefore I have created the Super-Vision Support Space. A rolling online membership for entrepreneurs and service-based business owners to feel seen, heard and held through all the challenges that business throws at us. My partner Nick Edgar and I will hold space for you to be exactly what you need to be, and we will create a safe space to co-reflect on a regular basis, with a large emphasis on emotional health. For more information, get in touch at contact@jessfrost.co.uk
Jess Frost, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jess Frost, is an Empowerment Coach for Highly Sensitive People and Empaths. After years of being told she was "too sensitive", burning out and numbing out due to overstimulation and overwhelm, Jess' world started making sense when she identified as a Highly Sensitive Person and Empath. She now dedicates her time to supporting other HSP's and Empaths around the globe. Jess runs 1:1 and group programmes to help HSP's and Empaths to stand in their authentic, sensitive superpowers and heal their shadow with NLP and Time Line Therapy. She is also the host of The EMpowering PATH podcast.
