Written by: Amanda Ray, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Discovering your life purpose can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be. Some people wake up every day and repeat the same routine of going to work, coming home, and doing the same thing the next day. Today, more than ever, people are feeling disconnected and lost, wondering what life's meaning is for them. They may be questioning, "What's the point?"
Good news: you aren't alone if this is you.
What you believe, whether Western or Eastern philosophy or religion, will influence how you discover your life purpose.
Why is it important to discover your life purpose?
I put this question to my Twitter followers and I like this description that was shared in response:
“Our purpose can guide life's emotions; influence behavior, decisions, and goals; offer a sense of direction; and create meaning and a feeling of responsibility for our own choices.”
Having a life purpose can help you feel more alive, connected, and less stressed because your life now has meaning. In addition, a clear sense of purpose gives you the motivation and energy to keep moving forward and striving for a better, more fulfilling life.
Note that it’s essential to understand what “life purpose” means to you, as it does mean different things to people based on their own experiences, religious beliefs, or cultural upbringing.
Whatever life purpose means to you is the right answer for you; there are no right or wrong answers to your personal growth journey. So, be guided by your feelings as to what is suitable for you.
This is my journey
When I close my eyes, I see myself as a little girl walking along the edge of a rock pool, daydreaming about what she wanted to be when she grew up. But, along the path towards adulthood, these dreams became a distant memory as life would test and challenge me.
For as long as I can remember, my idols were Martin Luther King Jr. and Carl Jung. Martin Luther King Jr. inspired me with his convictions and use of nonviolent actions to achieve equal rights, and his famous "I Have a Dream" speech still moves me today.
He stood for everything good and yet died a violent death.
Carl Jung was the first to come up with the theory of the collective unconscious, the belief that all humans are connected to each other and to their ancestors through a shared set of experiences. Interestingly, later in life, I would learn that Indigenous Spirituality shares a similar belief.
These two great men changed how people saw the world, and even today, their words still echo throughout humanity as their teachings are still relevant.
Growing up, I learned and researched everything I could about these two great men. The more I learned, the more I kept reinventing myself like a butterfly after each challenge I overcame. But there was always something missing, a piece of the puzzle I couldn't identify that would give my life more meaning—the meaning the little girl dreamed about as she grew up.
Years would pass and it would be a terrible time when my beautiful dear brother, my living Martin Luther King Jr., died. He promised that “whenever you see a butterfly, that would be me, looking down and protecting you.” My brother’s passing made me question our family’s history. I wanted to find out more about our grandpa’s heritage as he was orphaned after being left on the doorstep of a Salvation Army family's front porch as a baby. There were whispers within the family that his mother was Aboriginal, so I decided to have a DNA test done to confirm once and for all if the whispers were true. The results proved that I did have Indigenous ancestry that was pinpointed to the Cape York region in Far North Queensland.
So began my quest to know more about my ancestry. I wanted to find my great‑grandmother, but the question was how? At the time, I was living in Brisbane, Queensland and my job had just become redundant. This became my how, so, using the opportunity, I started to apply for jobs in Far North Queensland, hoping to end up in the Cape York region eventually.
After several years of living and working in areas up the coast of Queensland, which had me slowly moving further up Queensland towards the Cape York region, I eventually got a job working in an Aboriginal community on Indigenous land.
Although this community is known as Australia's most remote, poor, and violent community, I felt a sense of belonging. It became one of the most significant, life-changing experiences of my life.
Despite the harsh conditions and missing modern conveniences of city life, it was a wonderful way to live. The Aboriginal people don’t judge you on how you look or dress; what's inside you is what counts. If you treat them with respect, they will, in turn, treat you with the same respect. If you ask questions about Aboriginal culture and Dreamtime, they are only too eager to answer. It's a form of respect if you do ask questions.
I confided in several Aboriginal Elders about my great-grandma and sought their advice. One said, "To understand and know yourself, you need to connect with your roots."
The other told me to look at the night sky for guidance, as the night sky keeps a record of your path and life map. It reflects your journey in this life. So, after work, I would sit on my front porch and look towards the sky, amazed at the absolute blackness that seemed to engulf the earth with the sparkle of stars shining down on me. It was while looking into the abyss that everything seemed possible.
Unfortunately, the world was hit with COVID-19 and global lockdown, and the Cape York region became effectively cut off from the rest of Queensland and Australia. Being isolated from the rest of Australia and loved ones was difficult. The community had just gone through riots and a murder that left the town feeling like a pressure cooker about to explode. I also had a broken ankle and few medical staff were left because of the lockdown, so I couldn't get treatment or even pain relief. But my work colleagues and I had to keep going, working seven days a week to keep the Indigenous safe from COVID-19.
After two years and six months, I left the community. The lockdown and the tragic early death of my nephew made me realize how far away I was from my family. I was emotionally exhausted and wanted to be closer to my daughter. The search for my great-grandmother would have to resume at a later time.
Before I left, I promised my new friends that I would do everything I could to enlighten white Australians on the community’s truth—not the truth reported by media, advocates, or city Aboriginals but the truth of Aboriginals living on country. There is a difference between city Aboriginals and land Aboriginals, just like there is between city people and people who live in the country. Unbeknownst to me, my promise to my friends would lead to me to my life purpose.
Driving halfway across Australia
When I left the Aboriginal community, Australia was in the middle of its second COVID-19 lockdown, which made flying difficult. So, I decided to drive. Since every state was in lockdown, the best route was to drive across the top of Queensland, leaving from Cairns into Northern Territory and then down the center of Australia into South Australia.
This meant I would drive in some of the most isolated areas in Northern Territory, with petrol stations being far and few between towns, in the middle of Australian summer where temperatures could reach 50 degrees Celsius.
My family and friends wanted daily updates via Facebook to track my travels if anything happened.
I took photos as my daily updates, always trying to find angles to show different perspectives. I enjoyed the process and was actually seeking out great photo opportunities, even going off track to find them. As a result, a passion and natural talent were born that would eventually become part of my life purpose.
Sometimes we can try too hard to discover our life purpose or what we are passionate about.
Trust the journey and let your passion find you.
Returning home to Adelaide
Returning to civilization with modern conveniences was difficult. I found myself looking at everything with new eyes, a new sense of knowing. I also realized that everything I thought I knew, I didn't. I had zero tolerance for modern society. I found myself judging people and thinking, "Why are so many people superficial?" or "People seem so rude." I didn't like who I had become and wanted to return to Far North Queensland. I felt lost again, not knowing what to do and what path to take.
While in Alice Springs on my road trip, I found Dreamtime Reading Cards and the Aboriginal Dreamtime Journal by Mel Brown, Ngunnawal Woman, which helped me adjust to civilization and solidify my new insights.
“In search for honesty, first look within.” — Mel Brown, Ngunnawal Woman
The answer was clear: I needed to go deeper to truly understand myself to clear the clutter in my head. But how could I learn to stop judging people? That wasn't me, or so I thought.
"The meeting with oneself is, at first, the meeting with one's own shadow. The shadow is a tight passage, a narrow door, whose painful constriction no one is spared who goes down to the deep well. But one must learn to know oneself to know who one is." — Carl Jung
Embracing my shadow self and understanding who I am allowed me to self-reflect and take steps to complete my journey.
My steps
1. Examined my feelings — I started by writing in a journal and drilling down on my feelings by asking myself, “Why do I feel this way?” Then, using the freewriting technique, I just kept writing everything that came to me until it became clear.
The drilling down technique can be useful in negating any negative thoughts and feelings by putting them into perspective.
For example:
Why do I feel annoyed by people?—Because I used to be like that.
What changed my thinking?—Living in an Aboriginal community and seeing how happy people were because they didn't judge based on outside appearance.
What can I do to live my life that way in the city?—Become self-aware and fully embrace every aspect of my personality, the good and the ugly.
“What we despise in ourselves we project onto others.” — Carl Jung
Our shadow selves are the unwanted parts of our personality that we don't like and hide from ourselves and the world.
Simply put, our words and actions are not congruent, which can cause disharmony with ourselves and our lives, moving us further from our purpose. This type of experience is expressed in stories like The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde; we humans are not one person but two—our conscious personality and our shadow self, often battling for control over our minds.
Denying these two selves won’t make them disappear, for they remain in our unconscious mind and continue to influence our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
I know for me personally, understanding and embracing my shadow self has been beneficial to uncovering my true self and aligning fully with my purpose. Here are some ways to understand and embrace your shadow self:
Step back and look at your life objectively by pretending you are looking at your life through the eyes of a third person. Notice how you feel about your behaviors, and use the drilling down techniques to examine where the feelings came from. For example, are they suppressed feelings from childhood?
Taking notice and observing your actions and behaviors objectively will give you great insight into yourself.
Be honest with yourself. Uncovering the truth about yourself is hard, but doing so will lead you to become the best version of yourself and guide you towards your life purpose.
Acknowledge, accept, and forgive yourself. There is no shame, so forgive yourself, for you didn't know better. Now you do, so learn and move forward with your life.
“Our past is for learning;
Our present is for enjoying;
Our future is a combination of our past and present.” — Amanda Ray
2. Examined my dreams — Mel Brown, Ngunnawal Woman, stresses the importance of taking note of our dreams: “…your dreams are providing you with the answers to the issue at hand. Begin to take notice of your dreams, as they are often prophetic. Your dreams give you clear messages, but you still resist because you have trouble trusting yourself and your decisions. Trusting in this decision will turn the tides for you.”
Carl Jung also believed that our dreams were our psyche's attempt to communicate important things. He stated that dreams were an important part of the development of our personality—a process called individuation. Here are a few steps to capture and analyze your dreams:
Write down the dream using as many details as you can recall, even if they appear unimportant. Details could include the people, location, how old you were in the dream, and what feeling the dream left you with upon waking.
Make associations or connections with your dream. For example, are your dreams always in a certain location? Are you always younger or present? Are the same people showing up in your dreams?
Reflecting on your dream, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Was there a particular symbol or object in your dream?
I remember one dream in which I was running late for work. Of course, in real life I wasn't, but I couldn't shake the feeling all morning. Finally, after doing the above steps and examining what was happening in my life, the answer was clear: I felt like I was missing out on an opportunity that could help me towards the career I wanted.
A couple of days before having this dream, I was approached to write a chapter for Journey of Richness, but I declined. Fortunately, John contacted me again and this time, I said yes.
3. Embraced mindfulness — I use photography as my form of quieting my mind. When I am off exploring and taking photos, nothing else matters; my focus and attention are on what I see. As a result, I feel at total peace and am content with my life in those moments.
Putting it together
After many months of practicing all the above steps and reading more about Dreamtime, my purpose slowly unfolded. I learned many things about myself along the way and believed that the process was also part of my life purpose, which was to grow into a better version of myself.
However, there was one more step I needed to take.
When I submitted my first draft of this chapter, John rang me and said, “It’s good, with some good tips, but it’s not personal.” As someone who is used to writing corporate reports or meeting minutes, I am a bullet point type of person. I state the facts and keep emotions out of the picture. So now I had to learn how to write from my experiences—“My Story, My Journey Through My Eyes.”
At first, this terrified me, so I did the drill-down technique…
Why am I afraid?—What if people don’t like my story?
What’s the worst that can happen if they don’t?—Nothing, except my ego would be crushed.
What if people like my story?—That scares me more.
Why?—Because they might want to hear more about my story.
What’s bad about people wanting to know more?—Nothing.
What I realized was that it didn't matter if people didn't like my story. As long as I come from my truth, then that's all that matters. And maybe, there is someone out there who needs to hear the message in this story.
Since returning to Adelaide, many people have asked me to tell my story, as they find it inspirational and uplifting. I have also been asked to put together a coffee table book of my photos—my life captured through pictures—and a book of my quotes that I post on Twitter.
The light bulb moment was when I understood that my life purpose is to explore “My Story, My Journey Through My Eyes” through writing, photos, and quotes.
My life has come full circle. That little girl daydreaming on the edge of the rock pool wanted to inspire people, just like her idol Martin Luther King Jr. That little girl had an unshakeable belief in herself that never left her through all the challenges and struggles. She still has that belief today.
I never wanted to conform and be a follower. Instead, like a butterfly, I wanted to flutter my wings and have them felt by as many people as I could.
I want to leave you with two Dreamtime stories that impacted my life and gave me the courage to write my story.
Campfire (extract)
The campfire plays a large part in the lives of traditional Aboriginal Australians. It is also a place where knowledge was shared and stories told – not only the Dreamtime stories we may be familiar with, but stories of everyday happenings were also retold and enjoyed. There was also an intergenerational transfer of knowledge, as Elders shared their stories with the younger generations and enjoyed watching them grow, learn and try new things. — Mel Brown, Ngunnawal Woman
“Sharing our stories will allow others to learn from our experiences and to part with our knowledge and wisdom.” — Amanda Ray
River (extract)
The river is associated with emotions, which often flow and change direction depending on the obstacles encountered along the way. Sometimes your emotions almost dry up and you find yourself stagnant and stuck. Usually, it will take an outpouring of emotions to fix this – like floods that clean out the debris and your tears and help you let go of emotions and toxins.—Mel Brown, Ngunnawal Woman
“As you progress in your journey, embrace your emotions and feelings. Just like the river, we sometimes have to change direction or stay still to learn the lessons to help us move forward.” — Amanda Ray
Acknowledgement of Country
Reconciliation Australia acknowledges Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples should be aware that this chapter may contain names of people who have passed away.
Amanda Ray, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Amanda Ray is a content and blogger writer after having a successful career as an Executive Assistant. It was working as an EA to the CEO and Mayor of an Aboriginal community on Indigenous land in Far North Queensland. That changed her perceptions on life saying, “The living conditions were harsh, no modern convivences or the luxuries of living in a city. This made me realise that as a society we put too much importance on money, appearances and material wealth. Listening to Dreamtime stories awakened a spiritual awareness in me and a need to seek a more meaningful life. My aim is to share my learnings with the world to create social consciousness, and collective self-awareness, for the betterment of humanity.
