Written by: Fran Pedron, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
MEMORIES – Light corner of my mind – Misty water-colored memories “Barbra Streisand—The Way We Were”
Memories play a large part in our lives, from grief to success. They direct and produce our life experiences. They are the glue that fastens our walls of life.
In the present, memories are fleeting, temporary and brief. They drive our journeys forward, either positively or negatively. We use them to support where we are emotionally, but with time this glue begins to deteriorate.
How we make Memories
Brains are wonderful devices. They do so much, and when making a memory, our brain gives us space to store it and make connections. Those connections resurface in future events with places, people, and things.
Each time a memory happens, it gets more vivid, life-like and resets itself with new strength. Recall becomes easier and adds intensity. To suppress those memories shuts down parts of the brain used to recall them, and you create missing pieces in life.
“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards.” - Soren Kierkegaard
Keys to your Past
What do you do when memories come to visit? Do you revel in their goodness, use them to catapult you into the future, or do you become angry with life?
Feel-Good Moments
Feel-Good moments are amazing tools. They create joy—releasing endorphins. They build health and well-being—increasing immunity. They add years to your aging—happiness fights DIS-ease. They are tools for healing—finding the good in hurtful life moments.
Create ways to keep them alive:
write your stories and share them,
make websites and hold them,
find things you had as a kid,
make home videos.
Those feel-good moments hold steady future momentum. And success has a stable foundation to plant roots and grow.
Future Momentum
Using memories to move you forward—takes feel-good moments to new heights. How are you using these memories as foundational steppingstones? You are embarking upon a new venture, either personal or professional. You ask yourself, “Can I do this?”
Is this personal? Is this professional? Have you prepared? Do you have time to prepare? Only you choose the outcome. Here are tips to calm the jitters.
Write a list of 10 things you have successfully completed. They show that you are competent. Read them 10 times when you question yourself.
Ask for guidance. A mentor, who has done this before, can guide you through his/her experience. Time is cut by success expertise.
Write SMART goals. They keep you on track, allow adjustments to be made, and build confidence during the process.
Specific – What will be accomplished? What actions will be taken?
Measurable – What data will measure the goals (How much? How well?)
Achievable – Is the goal doable? Do you have the necessary skills and resources?
Relevant – How does the goal align with broader goals? Why is the result important?
Time-Bound – What is the time frame for accomplishing the goal?
While creating a new life experience, having a plan builds successful mindsets and opens your memory-storing door.
Holding Onto Anger
I spoke with a young woman whose grandmother had passed over 10 years ago. She was angry, hurt and filled with grief. Her judgment was skewed and overshadowed by emotion. She missed out on many parts of her life.
When memories trigger emotions, upheaval and chaos ensue. Negativity drives life experiences. With these types of remembrances, many choose to stay in the past and stay broken.
Emotional memories leave imprints upon our brains. Childhood and meeting details go un-remembered, yet traumatic times clearly have a front-row seat. Sensory awareness is heightened, and the memory is impressed more effectively.
Intentional actions are required to heal. Managing memories is a start. Ways to initiate healing include:
Inventory – acknowledge life will be different. Feel your emotions. Limit memory-time.
Journaling – bad memories have triggers. Recognizing them allows you to respond to them differently or devise a plan to grow through them and lay them to rest.
Understanding – get your mind wrapped around the memory and why you want to keep it.
Re-creation – decide what you do and do not want to keep.
Control – decide what you are going to do with the things you are keeping and the things you are discarding.
Limitations – decide going forward how much "of what" you will hold onto, as with storing physical mementos.
Dynamics – change the stored memory by hanging onto the love, releasing the trauma.
Modalities – choose to enlist other healing methods (i.e., hypnosis, coaching, counseling, etc.).
Well-being – place your priorities upon getting physically healthy. Join a gym. Schedule “me” time. Serve others. Have fun.
Memories are wonderful parts of our lives. However you choose to interact with yours, decide how you want to live with them. Are you choosing them for support or for detriment?
Fran Pedron, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Fran Pedron combines intuition, education, and life experience to help clients understand their foundational self-definition, make changes, and intention-purposed plans, which align with who they are as they create their desired outcomes.
Her experience in insurance, technology, accounting, communications, along with being abruptly downsized later in life, led her to understand how change affects people and their decision-making processes, along with the need to make decisions aligned with their authenticity.
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