Ken Keis, Ph.D., is a leading global authority on behavioral (personality) assessment strategies and an expert in leadership, purpose, and wellness. He is the President and CEO of Consulting Resource Group International, Inc. (CRG) which has served thousands of organizations worldwide.
In today’s fast-paced world, seeking wise counsel is more important than ever for personal and professional growth. Dr. Ken Keis, a seasoned expert in personal development, emphasizes the profound impact that your circle of influence has on your success in life.
Wisdom: Good sense or judgment; insight; knowledge; knowing
Counsel: Advice; deliberation; a plan of action
Did you know that the quality of your life closely reflects the people you keep as friends and the counsel you seek? Think about it: You wouldn’t want your children hanging around the wrong crowd because of the negative influence it could have on them.
Does that hold true for you in your own adult life?
The answer is a resounding “Yes.”
I recall a conversation I had with Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul. He emphasized that you can predict your network based on your five closest friends. Your circle of influence and the counsel you engage help determine your results in life. This principle applies to wealth, health, and all other areas of personal development.
It’s both laughable and pitiful when an individual seeking advice turns to someone who has either failed in the area they are concerned about or lacks any real experience. Here are some common examples:
You’re thinking about leaving your partner, so you get advice from others who are also separated.
You’re facing challenges with your children and seek feedback from parents whose skills are questionable.
You’re considering investing but consult individuals who have made poor financial choices.
You want to switch jobs but only ask those who have never changed careers.
You’re contemplating starting your own business but turn to friends who have never owned one.
It’s crucial to recognize that thinking you can navigate life alone without seeking wise counsel is both prideful and ineffective. The key lies in seeking advice from the right people.
Here’s the truth: Those who think they “know it all” often know the least, while those who are humble and willing to learn possess the most insight.
I had lunch with a CEO of a large NGO who had just hired a coach to assist with significant organizational changes. He found someone familiar with his industry—a referral from a colleague who had engaged the same services. Despite being a capable leader, he still sought an independent, skilled individual to provide insights and feedback—a sounding board, if you will.
True wisdom is insight based on experience. Most people around you may have opinions to offer, but few possess genuine wisdom. While exceptions exist, rarely should you seek counsel from someone who has failed in the area where you want to succeed or from someone who has never done what you aspire to do.
However, if a person has failed but turned their situation around to achieve success, their insights could be invaluable for your journey.
Be careful when seeking counsel
Be discerning about whom you consult:
Don’t ask your accountant for investment advice unless they are an active investor.
Don’t consult your banker for financial strategies unless they actively use them.
Don’t inquire with your realtor about real estate investing unless they are a seasoned investor in your area of interest.
Avoid seeking business advice from friends who have never owned a company.
Steer clear of coaches for success strategies if they themselves aren’t successful.
The bottom line is this: Wisdom is about knowledge that transcends age or years of experience in a particular field. Base your judgment on the results individuals have achieved, not merely on their time spent in their profession. I recall a high school teacher who, after 20 years of teaching, was still inept.
Engage with those who have gone before you at the highest level you can—within reason.
Here’s a vital point to remember: If you are seeking counsel, make it a reciprocal relationship. Ask how you can help them too, so the process is not solely about you. Honor the relationship—buy coffee, lunch, or send a small gift. Be a giver, not just a taker.
Make seeking wise counsel intentional
Push the envelope and connect with individuals at new and higher levels.
Proactively seek wisdom before you encounter challenges.
Engage with those you hold in high esteem—individuals with perspectives that extend beyond your current state.
Wisdom is also about context. To achieve success in any area of life, learn how successful individuals think. If you aspire to attain results similar to theirs, understanding their mindset is essential.
If your life reflects the company you keep and isn’t where you want it to be, take a look at where you’re getting your counsel. For many, that will require letting go of the past and moving forward. It’s not that you’re better than others; rather, you’re on your own unique path—not the one that some of your friends or current advisors are following.
Wise counsel can be gained both in person and through various informational sources such as books, audio, and video. To help you on your journey, I recommend engaging with the following CRG resources:
The quest for purpose
Personal style indicator
Values preference indicator
Stress and health indicator
In the end, you must choose your path, but it’s often easier and more effective to learn from the wise.
“It is not white hair that engenders wisdom.” – Menander, Greek Comic Dramatist (342 BC–292 BC)
Action steps: Move up by seeking wise counsel
Is seeking wise counsel part of your life’s success strategy? Why or why not?
Where are you currently getting your advice? From individuals with experience and wisdom, or from those with only opinions?
Is your life moving in the direction you desire? Yes? No? Maybe?
Seek counsel, advice, and coaching from those with a proven track record in the area you require. Just say no to well-meaning but uninformed friends who have no success in your area of need.
Don’t assume that your paid advisors are sources of wise counsel for areas outside their expertise, such as accountants for investing or bankers for financial options.
Your life, choices, and results will be highly influenced by the company you keep. Are certain individuals around you holding you back? If so, what are you willing to do about it?
Make seeking wise counsel an intentional part of your success strategy.
Remember, wisdom can come from information sources such as the four recommended CRG resources: The Quest For Purpose, Personal Style Indicator, Values Preference Indicator, and the Stress and Health Indicator.
Select at least four individuals you admire and who are accessible. Invite them to lunch within the next three months. Ask questions, learn, and, most importantly, listen!
Honor your wise counselor. Ask what you can do for him or her. Be a giver.
Remember, wise counsel is a gift. Treat it as such.
Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!
Read more Dr. Ken Keis
Dr. Ken Keis, Expert Leadership, Wellness, Personality, Purpose
Ken Keis, Ph.D., is a leading global authority on behavioral (personality) assessment strategies and an expert in leadership, purpose, and wellness. He is the President and CEO of Consulting Resource Group International, Inc. (CRG) which has served thousands of organizations worldwide. With over 4 million words of content authored, including 4 books and a dozen assessments, Dr. Keis is also a respected author, speaker, trainer, and media guest His latest books include: Why Aren't You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose. An engaging public speaker, Dr. Keis has conducted over 3,000 presentations and 10,000 hours of coaching and consulting.
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