Written by: Alicia Marcos Birong, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This is dedicated to sister Rita Claire and sister Joan Marque. For me, I thought during my childhood it was the woman who screamed at me most of my life and didn’t take care of the family. Who told me I was ugly, would never be anyone and wasn’t smart. We later found out my mother was schizophrenic. As I write these words, I can feel tears in my eyes. These are words a mother should never speak over her children or anyone for that matter.
There are a few special women in my childhood who gave me a different perspective. I saw other children being hugged at church or moms greeting their children with open arms. I wished that I could have that feeling. In high school, the Sisters(Nuns), who were my teachers, knew I needed encouragement and building up. They searched for reasons to encourage and help me; with my grades, my self-confidence and more. It was their love that helped me to love and serve others.
Being a mother is not always bringing a child into the world but being a person who cares for others with compassion and love. They are present and available to you, through listening, giving you a hug, playing your favorite game, setting healthy boundaries, etc. The qualities begin when you realize you have more to give, no matter what pain you have, and are able to reach past it to let others know how much they matter. My friend Father Ken always said “You are not to judge, but serve.”
When I was pregnant for the first time, I lost the embryo early. However, she was already part of me. I knew it was not the right time for a baby, but I still remember every part of the pregnancy, just like I remember the experience of caring for my two children. I had an internal fear that I would not be able to raise my children right and give them the love they deserved and needed that I was not given my own mother. I brought two very different children into the world and taught them to become their own person.
All parents make mistakes and will let their children down at some point. Growth happens in these situations when we the parents, can come back and acknowledge the wrong we do and continue to support and love our families. Through motherhood, I have become a better person and have been able to extend motherly kindness and love to others around me. Not all children have a mother or a mother figure to show them love and support. If you are a mom or a motherly figure, reach out to a child or group of children this mothers day. Mother's Day is hard for children who don't have a mom in their life, whether their mom has passed away or their mom has walked out of their life. Whether you’re a stepmom, stepdad, grandmother, grandad, friend or adoptive parent, you can make a difference and fill the role as a mom (or dad) in a child’s life.
As we celebrate mothers day, let's take a moment and remember that not all children have a hallmark image for a mom. What does matter is that you care enough to be there for that child and that they have someone who does love and care about them.
We are in a time of crisis for our children. We are at an all-time low for mental health and an all-time high for stress, anger and fear. Our kids need their moms and mom figures. They need someone to confide in, to show them how to be a kind adult and to make good choices. They need to be recognized and heard, told how cute their dress is and how cool their newest video game is.
It takes a miracle to be a perfect mom and I have yet to meet the perfect mom. I do know moms who are kind, generous, loving, nurturing and so much more! Moms need Moms to cheer and support each other on. We need to be supportive of each other and not tear one another down. Do you know a mom this mothers day who is overwhelmed, grieving or in need? Take some time and show her love and support. She will be thankful and will be able to spread that kindness later on down the road for another mom.
I want to say Happy Mother's Day to all the women who raised me and my mom who put me in the places I needed to be. She knew they could help me be a mom and a person who could go on to serve children and adults alike for decades to come. In my life, it never goes unacknowledged what others taught me and it is truly my gift to carry on the legacy of the sisters at my school.
So, what is a mom?
A mom is:
Kind
Loving
Compassionate
Imperfect
Listens
Guides
Cares
Nurtures
Celebrates
Present
Alicia Marcos Birong, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Alicia Marcos Birong is a pioneer in the field of child mindfulness, speaking on the same stages with Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II. Alicia’s signature programs have gathered national attention for their transformative abilities of children. An International Best Selling author, Alicia’s passion for empowering children is evident. With 25+ years of experience as a therapist, counselor, life coach, and hypnotherapist, Alicia shares her expertise with communities nationwide. You may have seen her on national television or working alongside companies like Coca-Cola, Air Force Academy, Girls Scouts of America, and the YWCA.
