Written by Deb Penner, Transformative Mentor
Deb Penner is a visionary voice, blending modern psychology with ancient wisdom and divine guidance to offer transformative perspectives guiding women to embrace their magic and unleash their voices with courage and grace. A founder, author, speaker, mentor, and retreat organizer, Deb is known for creating transformative spaces and experiences.
Have you ever found yourself paralyzed in the face of a decision, forward progress blocked by a mountain of 'what if' thoughts? There are simple coping strategies you can employ to overcome these fear-based projections and move toward your dreams with confidence.
When do they happen?
They show up the moment your heart offers you a new direction: the what ifs. What if I fail? What if people make fun of or reject me? What if it's a complete disaster? Your mind presents these thoughts as valid considerations, but they're nothing more than a scare tactic. When you begin to consider changes, moving towards the edge of your known world, you activate your brain's threat detection system, and it goes to work like a rabid guard dog. When this dog starts barking, you start thinking "What if." Overthinking quickly follows, and your decision-making skills may become mired in this bog.
Why do they happen?
The 'what if' thought pattern is quite effective, easily accomplishing the brain's objective of keeping you firmly planted inside your comfort zone. They pull you into an unknown future, away from the actions you could take in the present moment that would propel you forward. They fill you with fear, and they tend to run in packs. Once one 'what if' gets in the door, more will follow. Before you know it, you're completely absorbed in worst-case scenarios and your dream is slipping silently into the background of the noise inside your head.
Having thoughts like this is a normal reaction to considering change, and the volume of this mental guard dog will vary based on how much change you're pondering. Thinking of trying a new spot for lunch? You might revert to your usual after wondering "What if it's not any good?" But really, how risky is one bad lunch? Consider changing careers, leaving a long-term relationship, or setting firm boundaries where before there were none and you'll find much greater resistance between your ears.
What can you do?
Fortunately, managing 'what if' thoughts (and other human brain tricks) is a simple matter of knowing how to soothe the barking dog. By using cognitive restructuring, you can change your experience of leaving your comfort zone, improve problem-solving skills, find greater emotional regulation, and build psychological resilience. Try these simple tactics:
Answer the question
'What if' thinking serves to you into a thought spiral. Stop the spiral by realistically answering the 'what if's.' If your brain is asking 'What if people reject me?', decide how you would deal with that. Who could you talk with? What mental health benefits do you have? Would you journal, use meditation, or do some EFT/Tapping?
Flip the script
You've undoubtedly noticed that 'what if' thoughts are always awful. But outcomes are not. A positive result may be ahead, even though your brain will never point this out. Try exploring the flip side of 'what if.' What if it works out better than I'd imagined? What if I experience great success? Allowing yourself to feel the emotions you'd experience with these outcomes will make this practice even more powerful.
Take action
Your mind is barking to keep you from walking towards your intended change. Harness your courage and take the first step, despite the noise in your head. Action keeps you centered in the present moment, helping stem the tide of 'what if' thoughts, and often reduces or even eliminates the fear these thoughts cause.
Ready for a managed mind?
Your mind has a healthy pack of guard dogs, all willing to charge the fence around your comfort zone to encourage you to stay inside. Learning to recognize and defuse these scare tactics allows you to pursue your dreams with greater confidence and less anxiety, empowering you to explore a wide variety of self-improvement outcomes. To explore this topic further, I invite you to schedule a complimentary breakthrough session. Managing minds is a favored aspect of my work, and I look forward to sharing more techniques with you.
Deb Penner, Transformative Mentor
Deb Penner, a transformative visionary, guides women on a journey to embrace their magic and unleash the voice of the Divine Feminine. With over two decades of experience, she curates immersive retreats, dynamic workshops, and live/virtual spaces where women explore their values, gifts, and voices in a safe community. As a speaker and blog author, her insights deeply resonate. Beyond her professional pursuits, Deb finds joy outdoors with her dogs, in the kitchen cooking from scratch, lost in live music on the dance floor, or curled up with a good book.
