Written by: Hulya Kurt, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Mentoring is mentioned in the business acumen, is mentioned in all social networks, is mentioned in all industries. It seems to be a trend. It is and at the same time it is present since the caveman times.
In the old times, we were sitting around the fireplace and were telling stories. And the wisest man was talking. Was talking about his experiences, how he overcame obstacles and shared his best practices. This was and is mentoring. We had mentors and were mentees all along. And will be. Learning from our families. Our first mentors are our parents. Now let’s look at the more professional side of mentoring.
What is mentoring?
Mentoring is essentially about helping people to develop more effectively. It is a relationship designed to build confidence and support the mentee, so they can take control of their own development and work. The mentoring relationship is a collaborative partnership between a mentor, who is seen to have greater knowledge, skills and experience, and a mentee who is seeking to increase one or all these areas. It is an equal relationship of trust, guidance, and support.
Mentoring can take place in various settings, such as schools, workplaces, or community organizations. It can be formal or informal, structured or unstructured, and can last for a short or extended period of time. The relationship between the mentor and mentee is built on trust, respect, and open communication.
What is a mentor?
A mentor empowers a person to see a possible future and believe it can be obtained. A mentor facilitates personal and professional growth in an individual by sharing the knowledge and insights that have been learned through the years. A mentor should have the qualities of experience, perspective, and distance, challenging the mentee and using candour to force reexamination and reprioritization. A great mentor has a knack for making us think we are better than we think we are. They force us to have a good opinion of ourselves, let us know they believe in us. They make us get more out of ourselves, and once we learn how good we really are, we never settle for anything less than our very best.
A successful Mentor supports professional growth and personal fulfilment for the Mentee:
Develop and manage the Mentoring relationship
Sponsor the Mentee's developmental activities
Motivate and inspire
Let’s look at each of these areas in more detail:
Develop and Manage the Mentoring Relationship
Mentoring is collaborative. The Mentor and the Mentee share responsibility for the success of the process. Successful Mentoring stands on a foundation of rapport, collaboration, respect, and trust. As a Mentor, guide the conversation to reach common understanding and agreement about what is appropriate in the relationship and what is not, about what is and what is not being offered, and about the responsibilities of both parties. Help the Mentee to decide the most appropriate development objectives suitable for the Mentoring relationship.
Sponsor the Mentee’s Developmental Activities
The Mentor is welcome to become an advocate for the Mentee, sponsoring for appropriate opportunities. The Mentor seeks ways to connect the Mentee with situations that provide visibility and development.
Teach
Giving information, resources, and direct training. Giving honest and caring feedback
Providing correction for inappropriate behaviours
Helping to see inevitable errors that occur during the learning curve as developmental steps Assessing competencies, performance, and personal needs, attitude, and well-being
Sharing relevant experiences from your career and life
Motivate and Inspire
Helping Mentees align their actions and goals with their values, passions, and sense of personal efficacy supports them in their development. The Mentor can awaken the creativity and innovative ideas in the Mentee and help them reach their potential. Some ways to inspire your Mentee are about:
Making it safe for your Mentee to brainstorm
Modelling creativity and innovation
Providing a supportive realism for overly expansive or unrealistic thinking
Asking questions and listening for what is important to the Mentee
Encouraging and facilitating new perspectives. Reminding that there are multiple right answers to questions and solutions to problems
Supporting the quest for continuous improvement
How does the mentor interact?
Establishing Trust and Intimacy Mentoring
Presence
Active Listening
Powerful questioning
Creating awareness
Establishing Trust and Intimacy
The ability to create an environment where the Mentee can open up. A Mentor:
Shows genuine concern and care for the Mentee’s welfare and future
Continuously demonstrates personal integrity, honesty, and ethics
Establishes clear agreements and keeps promises
Demonstrates respect for and champions new behaviours and actions, including those involving risk-taking and where there is a fear of failure
Asks permission if he/she wants to share some insights with the Mentee’s line of business
Explains to the Mentee if the conversation has touched upon issues that the Mentor would like to share further
Does not judge the Mentee
Mentoring Presence
The ability to be fully present and create an effective relationship with the Mentee, employing a style that is open, flexible, and confident. A Mentor:
Gives the Mentee undivided attention during the Mentoring session
Is not afraid to say he/she does not know
Can see many ways to work with a Mentee, and is able to choose the way that seems most effective for the situation
Uses humour effectively to create lightness and energy
Active Listening
The ability to focus completely on what the Mentee is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the Mentee’s desires, and to support Mentee's self-expression. A Mentor:
Hears the Mentee’s concerns, goals, values, and beliefs about what is and is not possible. Distinguishes between the words, the tone of voice, and the body language (reads between the lines)
Summarizes, paraphrases, reiterates and mirrors back what Mentee has said to ensure clarification and understanding
Encourages, accepts, explores and reinforces the Mentee’s feelings, perceptions, expectations, concerns, beliefs, and suggestions
Understands the essence of the Mentee’s communication and helps the Mentee to find a solution for themselves rather than providing answers
Powerful Questioning
The ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for the maximum benefit of the Mentee and the Mentoring relationship. Mentor:
Asks questions that promote discovery, that empower and lead to insight (sometimes challenging the Mentee)
Asks open-ended questions that create greater clarity, possibility, or new learning – which often means commitment/action. Asks questions that move the Mentee towards what she desires (as opposite to questions that ask the Mentee to justify or look backward)
Stimulates the Mentee to think in new and different ways.
Asks probing but relevant questions that improve the level, quality, and depth of discussion.
Does not assume but expresses her own assumptions and tests with the Mentee if these assumptions are right
Creating Awareness
The ability to integrate and accurately evaluate the Mentee’s challenges and to make interpretations that help the Mentee gain awareness and thereby achieves desired results. Mentor:
Encourages the Mentee to distinguish between trivial and significant issues, and between situational and recurring behaviours to address the knowing-doing gap.
Supports the Mentee in identifying underlying concerns; typical and fixed ways of perceiving themselves and the world; differences between facts and interpretation; disparities between thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Helps Mentee to discover for themselves new thoughts and beliefs that strengthen their ability to act and achieve what is important to them.
Above are the key characteristics that a great mentor should possess. It is similar as coaching with the twist that it contains guiding, sharing experiences and coming from the industry.
When looking for a mentor, always make sure that the person you choose does have the experience you are looking for and is able to take you to the next level. Not to mention, the required soft skills.
Conclusion
In conclusion, mentoring is a powerful tool for personal and professional development, offering benefits to both the mentor and mentee. It can take many forms, from one-on-one mentoring to e-mentoring, and can be tailored to meet the needs and goals of each individual. While mentoring can present challenges, with the right skills, qualities, and commitment, it can lead to transformative learning and growth.
Whether you are seeking a mentor or considering becoming one, remember that mentoring is a two-way street, built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. By embracing the principles of mentoring, we can all become better learners, leaders, and contributors to our communities.
Enjoy the ride.
Hulya Kurt, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
After 32 years of working within a multinational company, Hulya chose to follow her passion of becoming a coach, mentor and workshop facilitator. She motivates and empowers company management teams and their employees to move forward in their professional life. Additionally she specialises in growth management with young adults and teenagers, assisting them through anxieties, fears and internal roadblocks. She is bridging the gap between academia and professional life, helps parents to understand their children. Additionally she is an author and best life coach award winner.
