Written by Virginia Hurdon, Health Coach
Dr. Virginia Hurdon is a board certified health and wellness coach, helping professionals all over the globe build wellbeing, mental fitness and robust performance. She is the founder and owner of Virginia Hurdon Health Coaching.
I invite you to check yourself: mental exhaustion or fatigue is so common right now that people often think it’s normal – is that you? What if you could take effective steps to get back your energy and capacity? This article will show you ideas for what you can do right now to feel better, and continue to improve over the long term.
What does mental exhaustion feel like?
When we are mentally exhausted, we may notice several things (or others notice and let us know):
Poor problem-solving or difficulty-making decisions
Physical tiredness
Trouble sleeping and/or waking unrefreshed even after a full night’s sleep
Irritability
Getting frustrated easily
Loss of creativity
Caring less about things
Difficulty managing emotions
Increased anxiety
Feeling overwhelmed
Trouble concentrating
Making more mistakes
That’s quite a long list! Some of these signs overlap with mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Look here for when to seek professional support.
4 things you can do to feel better right now
1. Talk to someone who gets it
That can be a family member, a friend, or even a trusted acquaintance like a teacher, clergy member, or work colleague. Just being able to be heard and validated about how you’re feeling can take a huge weight off you.
2. Try some self-compassion
Dr. Kristen Neff, a well-known researcher on self-compassion, has described 3 components to feeling compassion for yourself: a) acknowledge and feel the feelings you’re having without judgment b) realize and take comfort in your common humanity – we’re all human and imperfect, and you’re not alone in feeling as you do and c) treat yourself as you would treat your best friend, with kind and supportive thoughts and actions. Self-compassion is more motivating for change than self-criticism!
3. Try this exercise, and repeat as often as possible
Look yourself in the mirror, and say, ‘I deserve to feel energetic, capable and joyful!’ If that doesn’t resonate for you, take time to reflect and come up with an affirmation that does. It’s important that the affirmation ‘makes your heart sing’. Affirmations aren’t the whole answer to feeling exhausted, but rewiring negative thought patterns (called neuroplasticity) in this way can really help!
4. Try one of the recommendations that follow below
Improving your energy step by step
1. Rest
We know we all need physical rest, but did you know you need mental and emotional rest too? Here are some ways to get mental and emotional rest:
Sleep if you’re not sleeping well at night, try having a short nap during the day (max 30 minutes). Related: 5 Tips for better Sleep Quality
Connecting to nature sit outside or take a stroll. Even looking at a beautiful natural scene on your device for a few minutes can be restful.
Get a break! Can someone watch your kids for a couple of hours while you do something you enjoy, not just chores or errands? Take a 5-10 minute break between meetings. Take a lunch break, and don’t eat at your desk. Converse with someone you like. Incorporate planned breaks into your focused work; try the Pomodoro method: 25 minutes of work, then 5 minutes of a break. Related: How 25 Minutes of Mastery Can Create a Focused Mindset
Put the phone down, Research suggests that the more we scroll on our phones, the less mentally healthy we feel. Try using an old fashioned digital or analog alarm clock instead of the alarm on your phone. That way you can charge your phone in a different room. Delete social media apps that are particularly tempting. Make a conscious effort to leave your phone behind when you go out for a walk, and store it away from the table at meal times. Set boundaries around when others can contact you.
Listen to music: music engages different aspects of our brain than the rational, thinking parts. Really get into it. Feel the emotions it evokes, dance, conduct the orchestra, or explore something new. Try listening to something that uplifts or inspires you.
2. Wonder and awe
For many people, being in nature is a source of wonder and connection to the larger world. For others, it might be architecture, worship, astronomy, people overcoming challenges… What sparks your sense of awe?
Practice Gratitude. Gratitude takes us out of ourselves and allows us to see the good in our lives and the world. A simple 3 item list that you complete daily and reflect on for a moment can help.
3. Connect to others
Talk to supportive people regularly. Ask them how they are doing, too. Supporting others (within your limits) can be a great way to re-energize yourself.
Do you have a friend or colleague struggling with exhaustion too? Try becoming ‘wellbeing buddies’. Encourage each other, and help each other be accountable for the steps you’re taking.
We can all use a role model to inspire us. Who’s yours? How are they inspiring? What have they overcome or worked through that resonates for you?
4. Physical activity
Movement, whether it’s a casual stroll or strenuous exercise, creates endorphins, feel-good hormones, as well as a sense of accomplishment. This creates energy as well as motivation to repeat that pleasant experience.
Make sure it’s something you enjoy! You’ll stick with it much more easily.
Find an activity buddy, either in person or virtually.
Don’t fall into this trap
You may have heard the saying, ‘You need to do everything all the time’ in order to improve, but the truth is that small, intentional steps will get you there faster. Start small. So small, in fact, that you can’t fail. What’s the smallest step you can take that feels like progress? Start there, and don’t build too fast, as you could become overwhelmed and discouraged. View each step as an experiment. You’re going to commit to trying something for a period of time, gather data about how it feels, what progress you’re making, and what isn’t working, and modify based on the results. There is no pass/fail in experiments, just learning.
When to seek professional support
Exhaustion is impacting your functioning (job, home, relationships).
You feel stuck. You’ve tried some things and nothing is working.
You’re experiencing symptoms of depression: hopelessness, loss of pleasure, appetite changes, on-going sleep difficulty, suicidal thoughts, all-encompassing sadness or apathy.
You’re experiencing symptoms of anxiety: can’t stop worrying, paralyzed by fears, persistent repetitive negative thought patterns.
You think you need assistance! Pay attention to what your intuition or supportive friends or family say. If your gut says you’re not well, get help!
How coaching can help
Let’s say you’re dealing with changes at work that increase your workload. You’re the parent of young children, and you’ve started going back to the office instead of working remotely. You’re exhausted in all spheres: mentally, physically, and emotionally. A coach will help you develop a goal, for example: ‘I want to be available and present for my kids in the evening’, and co-create the strategies that will get you there. These might include setting boundaries around work time, getting to bed by 10 pm every night, taking a night off childcare duties twice a month, playing with your kids after school, finding motivation to walk with a buddy at lunchtime, or listening to uplifting music during your commute. A coach will work with you to take small, manageable and confidence-building steps, celebrate your progress, help you manage setbacks, and provide accountability as you wish. A coach can also help you seek further assistance, like counseling or a healthcare visit, if that is appropriate.
Mental exhaustion may feel overwhelming, but you don't have to face it alone. Take the first step towards feeling better by implementing these strategies in your life. Whether you're a student, a professional, or someone navigating personal challenges, know that you have the power to write your own story. If you're ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, book a discovery call today. Let's work together to help you emerge from mental exhaustion and embrace your true potential.
Read more from Virginia Hurdon
Virginia Hurdon, Health Coach
As a retired physician in her ‘second act’ as a wellness coach, Virginia Hurdon has turned her passion for caring for the wellbeing of others towards her colleagues and now helps health care professionals struggling in the beleaguered health care system. Drawing on her own experience and plenty of research, she has gained invaluable knowledge about what wellness is, learned the tools to help wellbeing grow, and how to help people with the challenges they face on the journey from surviving to thriving. Virginia’s mission: fostering a culture of wellbeing and thriving within healthcare and the world-at-large!
