Bozena Skarbek-Cielecka Psychodynamic Psychotherapist, "Seeds of Love" Company owner and creator, working in the Mental Health field. Passionate about helping others to discover their inner wisdom. She believes everyone deserves a life filled with meaningful relationships, love, and joy. Her mission is to plant seeds of love in people's hearts.
I wanted to write something about a new MBT approach (Mentalization Based Treatment), which was developed by Peter Fonagy and Anthony Bateman. While working with severe disturbed, complex case clients, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder this approach seems to work very well. The model is used also in the work with clients with antisocial personality disorder and any other mental health difficulties where mentalization could be beneficial for further therapeutic work.
Mentalizing is about being aware of what is going on in our minds and other people's minds. Mentalizing is seeing ourselves from the outside (imagining how others can see us) and seeing others from the inside (imagining what the others are thinking or feeling), which leads to greater empathy and compassion.
There is no doubt that it is essential to understand one another to have good social and personal relationships. Understanding what occurs between us and others is crucial for good relationships. When Mentalizing is compromised, there are visible problems in communication with other people. First and foremost, we must understand accurately ourselves by knowing what is going on in our minds to make us feel as we do.
We all sometimes slip into a "Mindless" state. It can happen at times of emotional distress when our capacity to Mentalize "evaporates". The focus of Mentalizing is helping the client in stabilizing the sense of self while maintaining an optimal level of emotional arousal when the personal emotional experiences can be overwhelming, leading towards an escalation of emotions.
Mentalization Based Therapy helps with the emotional regulation. It influences our effective communication and positivity. It is an approach that is strictly connected with the mind. Mentalizing is about being aware of what is going on in our minds and other people's minds.
The mind tells us what we think and feel and why we behave as we do. To Mentalize properly, we must open our minds to listening with curiosity. This curiosity comes from a place of unknowing, trying to understand misunderstandings and exploring different perspectives. Working with the MBT model, we consider feelings, thoughts, beliefs, desires, impulses and motivations.
MBT involves practicing mentalizing skills in close relationships: with a therapist or within the MBT therapy groups to understand each other better. We must understand ourselves in order to be able to "walk in someone's shoes". When people interact naturally and spontaneously, Mentalization occurs automatically, but group members can interpret the same events differently. When we are curious about other people's life experiences, feelings, and thoughts, not making assumptions, and becoming more aware of our state of mind, it helps a lot in mi Mentalization.
Being aware of our thoughts, listening to others, considering different perspectives, taking a step back by pausing, acting from an unknowing stance (curiosity), and considering the other person`s mind are the signs of Good Mentalizing. On the contrary, being certain of what is going on in our mind and in the minds of others, assuming someone is thinking the same way we do, ruminating (negative thinking), black and white thinking (all or nothing), labelling or blaming others, using critical words, blowing things out of proportion, jumping to conclusions, seeing only failures but never successes, denying our responsibility, focusing on physical problems or external events, being preoccupied with rules and faults are the signs of Poor Mentalizing.
The MBT approach combines the left and right brain to find the value of reason and emotion. The "Wise Mind" is somewhere between a Reasonable Mind and an Emotional Mind, and Mentalizing itself is the process rather than action. It is an adventure of discovering our inner wisdom.
When we introduce Mentalization Based Therapy in the group work and group members start to question one another, they end up showing more curiosity and they also have a chance to explore differences without prejudice. They learn together how to relate in a better way, respecting others and taking into account different perspectives. Without fixations, judgements, or assumptions they communicate more effectively. It results in better understanding but also in increase of empathy and compassion towards other human beings.
For curious readers who want to know more about MBT model
Special article: "Mentalization based treatment for borderline personality disorder" Anthony Bateman, Peter Fonagy (World Psychiatry 2010; 9:11-15)
Anna Freud Centre "MBT-Introduction Manual" (Caring for Young Minds)
"Group Therapy Techniques" Sigmund Karterud, Anthony Bateman. Handbook of mentalizing in mental health practice.
Washington American Psychiatric Publication. 2012
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Bożena Skarbek-Cielecka, Psychodynamic Psychotherapist
Bozena Skarbek-Cielecka specializes in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and is fond of Adult Group Psychotherapy. Having a breakdown followed by a period of depression in her thirties, she decided to change her career from being a foreign language teacher to being a psychotherapist. After a successful treatment, she studied Art and Music Therapy first, and then she deepened her skills by studying Psychodynamic Psychotherapy at the Laboratory of Psychoeducation in Warsaw- Poland. She has since dedicated her life to helping others to overcome the darkest moments of their lives. She is passionate about Group Analysis. Studying Modern Group Analysis and finishing the Diploma in Group Analysis training, she discovered ways to help people in a shorter, more effective group therapy. She believes in human's ongoing change and growth. Awarded the European Certificate of Psychotherapy, the certificate of excellence, she is paying her "debt of gratitude" to all therapists who saved her life. She is planting seeds of love in her clients' hearts.
