Written by: Trea Tijmens, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Matchmaking or dating coaching – in the past, many singles cringed at the very sound of these words. But singles increasingly become aware that a life partner impacts all other aspects of life. Instead of randomly choosing someone, they want to choose their life partner wisely. Many busy professionals seek expert support in their partner search. They understand that matchmaking or dating coaching can help you achieve your goal of finding the right partner more efficiently.
What you'll learn:
Modern matchmaking and dating coaching services are more efficient and successful in helping busy professionals find love.
When choosing a partner search expert, take into account your the professional, effectiveness of the offer, and value added.
Dating coaching is more successful than matchmaking because it empowers you and gives you the skills to date and choose the right person.
For most men, a mix of matchmaking and dating coaching can work wonders.
Why Singles Seek Help Finding a Partner?
There used to be a stereotype that people who turned to dating agencies or matchmakers were desperate and could not find love on their own. Based on my almost 18 years of experience in the matchmaking and date coaching industry, the opposite is true. The successful, attractive single men and women who contact me for a consultation are not desperate – they are determined.
A typical single in Switzerland who considers hiring a matchmaker or a dating coach is a well-educated professional or business owner. They have a good life, successful careers, a nice home, great friends, and interesting hobbies. The only thing still missing is… love.
Many of my clients come to me through recommendations. Their work colleagues met their husband or wife with my help and told them about what I do. Others find me through research. Here’s what they tell me:
They have been dating for months, even years, without much success.
They broke up years ago, concentrated on their careers and believed that once they would be ready, they would meet someone nice. (NOT happening, zero dates).
Some are divorced or widowed and have not dated in a long time. They don’t know where to start and how to go about it.
Some made bad dating or relationship choices in the past and want support and guidance to do better.
Some feel they are too busy to identify potential matches and want someone to do it for them.
Some clients want to start a family and don’t want to waste precious time – they need an effective dating strategy.
Whatever the reason, you will be choosing from two popular options: matchmaking or dating coaching.
Photo by Ron Lach/Pexels
Matchmaking Or Dating Coaching: Which One Is Better for You?
If you’re considering hiring someone to help you find the perfect partner, you may feel a bit lost. Whichever path you take, it will be an investment of your time and financial resources, so it’s important to choose wisely. Start by considering three main factors: The professional, effectiveness, and value added:
The professional. The most important and first match that needs to happen is between you and your matchmaker or dating coach. Is the professional you turn to qualified and experienced, do they enjoy a good reputation, do you feel they have your best interest at heart, do you like their methodology, do you feel that they personally want to see you succeed, are you enthusiastic about doing the process with them?
Effectiveness. If you invest in career coaching, you want to see the return of your investment, for example a promotion. Same goes for partner search. Finding a dating professional with a strong record of success is key. Make sure you understand their definition of success. Still, even a top expert won’t be able to help you if you’re not proactive, fully invested and ready to give your best to the dating process.
Added value. You may think that matchmaking or dating coaching have only one goal in mind – helping you find your ideal partner. But the best services out there offer much more. They give you the tools to create a lasting and happy relationship once you have found that special someone. They also teach you skills you can reuse, should the relationship not work out. Some of my own clients have even told me parts of our dating coaching have been very useful in their professional life – for example personal networking skills.
Pros and Cons of Matchmaking
Most singles start their research with matchmakers and dating agencies. We’ve all heard of these services and TV dating shows, which made them even more popular. Matchmakers work by finding potential candidates for you, some will also arrange your first dates. It seems like a magic bullet. You give them your money, and they will find you your mr. or mrs. Right!
I applied this approach when I when I first started my company Success Match in 2005. I worked as a matchmaker, helping successful single executives in Switzerland find their life partners through making them introductions. And, while I had some success with that, the success rate of clients being in a happy relationship by the end of their membership term was shockingly low.
The reality is that almost all singles need a lot more than simply going on some dates to help them transition from single to in a relationship with the right person!
Photo by Leeloo The first/Pexels
What's Dating Coaching?
A lesser-known option is dating coaching. This method focuses on empowering you, setting you up for success in the dating process, giving you the tools to date effectively and improving your social and relationship skills.
After years of only offering matchmaking and introduction services with a very low success rate. I went back to school to learn everything I could about dating and relationships and switched to a holistic approach and dating coaching model. It proofed to be the best decision for my clients and my business. With my dating coaching and mentoring programs I went from low success rates to up to 85% effectiveness in helping my clients find their partner!
Unlike matchmaking, which is more transactional, date coaching is an empowering, transformational journey. Dating Coaching gives you the tools, guidance, strategy and support you need to succeed.
Individual dating coaching is a pragmatic approach focussed on your needs and helping you succeed. Before we start with finding the right partner, we focus on being the right partner. We start off by getting clear on where you are currently at, define where you want to be / what you want to create, as well as your needs and expectations of a partner and your relationship. We clear emotional baggage, break deadly dating and relationship patterns, and change limiting beliefs. We set you up for success in your partner search and give you the dating and relationship skills you need to succeed.
As your dating coach I am here to help you, to guide you, to empower you, to give you the tools and strategies you need to succeed, to hold you accountable, to give you tough love when needed, to cheer you on and to celebrate your successes with you. Once you have found your person, we work together to help you build a strong relationship foundation so that you can create the relationship you desire.
Combining Both Approaches
The majority of professionals who can assist you in partner search will either offer matchmaking or dating coaching. My extensive experience as a science-based dating expert has led me to create a third option for my male clients. I noticed that a combination of coaching and matchmaking gives me an almost 100% success rate when working with my select gentlemen clientele.
Choose What Works
Finding the right partner is the major journey in your life. Most people, when asked about their sources of happiness in life, name love and family as the most important. Making the right choice in Matchmaking or dating coaching gives you the best chances of finding someone for a lasting relationship.
When looking for a dating professional or agency, make sure to ask about their success rates and references. Even better if someone comes through recommendations of happily paired or married friends. If possible, stay away from companies that don’t offer personalised support.
Working with a dedicated expert will create that atmosphere of mutual understanding. I spend at least a full day with my gentlemen matchmaking clients at their home and get to know my clients really well. Only then can I effectively choose potential matches and provide tailor-made advice and support. If you would like to learn how I can support you in finding love, reach out for a free consultation today.
Trea Tijmens, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Trea Tijmens, the CEO of www.successmatch.ch, is an international elite matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach.
Trea believes that to love and be loved is a basic human need and that people do not thrive without love.
A former head-hunter, she founded SuccessMatch in 2005. Based in Switzerland, she works with local and international clientele and prides herself on her high success rate.
Trea is passionate about helping her highly international single professional clientele transition from where they are today to where they want to be; in a happy, fulfilling, lasting relationship with the right partner!
