Written by Willie Nicholson, Business Consultant
Willie Nicholson has held numerous leadership roles, building and empowering successful teams while enabling employees to grow and achieve career success. His go-to phrase is, "It's not who's right. It's what's right."
We frequently make to-do lists when making decisions, planning, or dealing with anything. This becomes our task list. We don’t typically make a “not-to-do list” as part of the process. According to research by Gallup, around 70% of decisions are based on emotional factors, meaning a sizable portion of our decision-making process is influenced by “what to do.” Surveys show that a substantial portion, around 76% of the U.S. population, regularly uses to-do lists. I then looked up how many people have "not-to-do lists." I didn’t uncover much, except that people subconsciously incorporate a "not-to-do" factor.
I wish I hadn’t done that
Research reports that 70% of millennials and 69% of Gen X mid-career workers say they have the most regrets. Regrets seem to drop off later in life, with 52% of Baby Boomers having regrets. I would imagine that Baby Boomers are relieved of having to make as many decisions as their younger counterparts.
I don’t get it
If there is so much remorse, why isn’t "what NOT to do" given equal or more weight in decision-making?
I believe that determining what not to do should be the first step in the decision-making process.
The rebel
Deciding not to do something can be considered rebellious. People can have a quiet desire to be a rebel, even if they don’t act on it. The natural human inclination to resist authority is sometimes referred to as "psychological reactance."
There is an astonishing real-life Civil War story of deciding what not to do as a plan that was also rebellious. In 1862, Keith Blalock, a convinced Unionist, joined the Confederate Army to avoid being drafted. His wife, Malinda Blalock, posing as a man to be with her husband, also joined the Confederate Army. Keith devised a plan to be medically discharged by rubbing his body with poison oak, causing a rash. Once he obtained a discharge, his wife disclosed her gender and promptly received a discharge as well. They both then joined Unionist guerrillas as raiders to exact revenge on the Confederates.
Not the boss of me
Considering what not to do provides a healthy level of questioning that enhances critical thinking, especially in situations where one is put on the spot and under stress.
By identifying "land mines" early in the process, we can avoid compounding problems, making them worse, or having regrets that haunt us for life.
Putting the cart before the horse
Doing things in the wrong order and making incorrect assumptions are reasons to consider what to do. However, it is doing something you will regret that makes identifying what not to do critical. Depending on the circumstances, it is often more important than knowing what to do.
Argued assertion
In his book Power of Regret, author Daniel Pink talks about the self-evidently true anti-regret posture embedded in songs by Angelina Jolie, Bob Dylan, sages like Tony Robbins, tattoos, and many more that assert, “I don’t believe in regrets.”
This narrative implies we shouldn’t believe in regret or get over regrets. Why invite the negative? Why look for rain?
The author’s point is that we start to minimize the significance of regret.
Leaving out what not to do is more than overlooking the potential to avoid regret. It’s an incomplete blueprint for life.
I think it’s reckless to avoid emphasizing what not to do. We look for rain to prepare ourselves better.
Consequences
Every action has consequences. All bad actions have consequences. Even seemingly minor bad actions can have repercussions.
You do the math.
Doing something in a fit of rage can result in being fired, incarcerated, hurt, or put in a life-threatening position. Just choose any day to read headlines, and you will find “what not to do” stories.
Does leaving out what not to do provide an effective approach?
“Don’t jump in a puddle because everyone else is doing it.”“Don’t jump off a bridge because everyone else is doing it.”
These phrases encourage independent thinking.
Not just lists – Not to do’s save lives
Use it in your everyday life. When your child wants to do something, they are thinking of their to-do’s. Make sure to bring up the not-to-do’s. Please teach your children that “you may know what you want to do, but you also know what you DON’T want to do.” Say it over and over. It may save their life.
Then why “what not”
Being righteous is often costly, demanding people give up their time, money, and effort. Ignorance offers an easy way out.
Shaul Shalvi said, "Issues don’t discriminate." A not-to-do list is your form of risk management, your roadmap of where not to go. It’s a “bug sweep,” actively looking for hidden information and uncovering those things that may not be immediately visible.
If you fail to do so, the consequences could be devastating.
Premeditated ignorance, or willful ignorance, is when someone intentionally avoids information. In one limited meta-analysis study, where participants came from Europe and the U.S. (meaning the results may not be replicated in other cultures), researchers found that 40% of people will choose to remain ignorant of how their decisions affect others. The evidence suggests that willful ignorance provides people with a built-in excuse to act selfishly. Another potential motivation is the presence of “cognitive inattentiveness.” That is, people dislike thinking more than they have to.
Premeditated ignorance, or willful ignorance, is a choice.
I agree with Lucille Ball, who said, “I think knowing what not to do is most important.”
Decision-making relies on judgment and reasoning. It involves evaluating diverse views, applying critical thinking, and developing ideas and solutions. Independent thought is a valuable skill.
Nonetheless, given everything discussed here, the fact that what not to do is not considered crucial in decision-making shows that ignorance is linked to individuals who neglect the importance of making what not to do a critical part of decision-making.
Whether we are leaders or ordinary citizens, with these insights, we can all become a bit less misinformed and better decision-makers by incorporating what not to do into our decision-making processes.
Consider how much stress and regret we could have saved if we had added a not-to-do column to our to-do list. Make what not to do as important as what to do.
Make don’t a want.
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Willie Nicholson, Business Consultant
Willie Nicholson, a thought leader and business adviser, helps others improve their knowledge of the business world. Because he didn’t have early mentors in his life, Bill entered the corporate world uninformed and inexperienced. Bill didn't appreciate the value of advice until he had the opportunity to work with two separate female leaders who helped him develop his early business understanding and aptitude. From then, he began to take an early interest in helping others understand the intricacies of business.
