Written by Sophia Wood Massicotte, Holistic Healer
Sophia Wood Massicotte is a multi-passionate Yoga Teacher, movement advocate, and leader. Inspired by Nature and empowered through the Heart, her teachings stem from the ancient healing system of Ayurveda, and non-dual Tantra. She is the founder of The Art of Being Well a holistic health hub for women who are ready to reclaim their power and truth.
Feminine and Masculine Energy is used to describe the energetic flow of the universe. Despite the names, this isn’t a gendered concept. It simply illustrates the balance of all living things (think Yin and Yang).
Masculine energy is associated with doing, light, structure, rational, and analytical. Feminine energy is associated with being, dark, flexible, emotional, and intuitive. You can think of feminine energy as water and masculine energy as the container that shapes the water.
We all have a balance of masculine energy and feminine energy within us that governs our physical organs and biological functions, much like the tree.
Trees embody Feminine Energy in the spring when they are budding and regrowing their leaves (creation) and Masculine Energy when they ground themselves by rooting into the earth (grounding). There’s Feminine Energy in the way that their trunks sway in the wind so they don’t break (flexibility), and Masculine Energy in the strength of their branches (strength).
It’s important to note that these energies also show up as specific energetic dynamics and behavioral qualities that shape our day-to-day interactions with ourselves and others.
When we come to know our own inner masculine and feminine, we step closer to wholeness as we do not need those outside of us to fill the “missing” energies within.
For the sake of this article, I will speak more specifically on the wounded Masculine Energy. So go ahead and get nice and comfortable, and let’s jump right in.
Unhealthy masculine energy
Wounded masculine is responsible for our society’s obsession with productivity, to-do lists, and getting as much done as possible. And it affects both men and women to the detriment of their health and well-being (personal & collective).
Wounded Masculine Energy is characterized by a variety of signs, including, but not limited to, aggression, emotional unavailability, hyper-competitiveness, or an overwhelming need for control, overly critical and always needs to be right.
The unhealthy Masculine is prone to addiction, distraction and keeping busy rather than being present.
These behaviors, while potentially used as protective mechanisms against vulnerability, hinder genuine connections with oneself and others, perpetuating a cycle of dissonance and dissatisfaction.
The root cause of wounded masculine energy
At the heart of wounded Masculine Energy lies a profound disconnection from the authentic self, spurred by societal expectations, personal life experiences (mostly in childhood), and the often rigid frameworks of what it means to be a “strong” woman or man.
This energy becomes wounded when the balance tips, leading to an overemphasis on traits like dominance, emotional suppression, and an exaggerated sense of independence, which, paradoxically, can lead to feelings of isolation, inadequacy, and fear.
Understanding the wounded Masculine Energy and how it plays out within yourself and in life is the first pivotal step toward healing. It involves recognizing these patterns within ourselves and the societal structures that perpetuate them. This awareness is the foundation upon which healing is built, offering a beacon of light to those navigating the murky waters of emotional and psychological turmoil.
The divine masculine
The Divine Masculine energy (also known as “empowered” or “healthy” masculine energy) within you holds space, witnesses without judgment, and creates safety. He is mindful, alert and present. He is always watching, observing and witnessing objectively.
He provides for others selflessly in a way that feels good and honors your boundaries. He maintains a healthy relationship with structures and routines, engages in intellectual and analytical thought, brings a feeling of grounding in your body and in your life, and supports your assertiveness and confidence.
Ultimately, empowering your Divine Masculine moves you from self-judgment to self-acceptance, from seeking love and acceptance outside of you, to feeling safe and loved within, from movement to stillness, from reaction to equanimity, and from people-pleasing to honoring yourself.
Let’s explore a few signs of how wounded masculine energy manifests in our lives and how we can invite in the feminine energy to balance it out.
Signs of wounded masculine energy
1. Obsession with results
Have you ever felt the pressure to reach your goals, achieve, succeed, checking off all the boxes, but felt dread during the process? That’s our hyper-masculine society that prioritizes results over the process. We think that getting results is what will help us create feelings of success and happiness, but we completely ignore the ebb, flow and fun of the process!
Feminine antidote: Make the process fun
There is no denying that attaining your goals is fun and rewarding, but what are you doing to practice enjoyment in the now? If you knew you would get to your goal no matter what you did, how would you choose to get there? What does fun look and feel like for you? Gift yourself some fun and play during your week and day and see how your body and mind respond.
2. Control
At the root of control is wanting to manipulate exact outcomes so we don’t have to deal with the discomfort of not having what we want. It can also be a defense mechanism if we don’t trust ourselves to navigate and problem-solve in unexpected situations.
Feminine antidote: Surrender and self trust
If you need to have a sense of control over your life, you are telling your subconscious, “It has to be exactly this way, and if it’s not, I won’t be okay.” To soften this, practice the skill of surrendering – or accepting that you can’t perfectly bend your life to your will. This also requires self-trust that you can successfully navigate challenges no matter what happens.
3. Judgment
Judgment runs rampant in our society, and the thought “What will others think?” stops so many of us from pursuing the things we actually want and limits our ability to connect with ourselves and others.
Feminine antidote: Compassion
You can practice compassion in two ways, either towards yourself or others. The less you judge yourself, the less you judge others. The less you judge others, the less you judge yourself. Work on whichever feels easier and the other will follow too. Remember that there’s no one “right” way to do something!
4. Defensiveness
Do you have a habit of thinking you’re right and others are wrong? Do you struggle to take any kind of constructive feedback? Defensiveness comes up when we aren’t secure in ourselves and we don’t tolerate anything less than perfection.
Feminine antidote: Receptivity
When someone is offering constructive feedback, it’s not an attack on your worth. It’s an observation about a thought or behavior. Stay grounded, view the comment with objectivity, and then decide if and how you want to receive it (from a non-defensive place).
Preventing future wounds
Here are a few simple practices to help you stay aware of and prevent wounded masculine energy from rising up.
1. Self-awareness & objective observation
Regularly check in with yourself, acknowledging your feelings and experiences. This ongoing self-reflection fosters awareness and prevents old patterns from resurfacing. Make sure to not judge yourself!
2. Staying connected with a supportive community
Surround yourself with people who support your growth and healing. A strong community can offer perspective, encouragement, and accountability.
3. Emotional regulation
Mindfulness keeps you grounded in the present, helping manage stress and emotions effectively. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can be incredibly beneficial. If the emotion is a little stronger such as anger, try kickboxing, punching or yelling into a soft pillow!
4. Prioritizing self-care
Never underestimate the power of self-care. Ensure you’re taking time for activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit. Remember to come back to the basics: eat well, sleep well, move your body, go outside.
5. Seeking help when needed
Remember, it’s okay to seek help! Whether it’s returning to therapy or reaching out to trusted friends or mentors, getting support is a sign of strength, not weakness!
Conclusion
Healing wounded masculine energy is a journey of returning to one’s authentic self, shedding the layers of societal expectations and personal fears. It’s a path that leads not just to improved personal well-being but also to healthier relationships and a more balanced society. Embracing this journey requires courage, commitment, and compassion, but the rewards are immeasurable: a life lived with authenticity, emotional depth, and true strength.
Read more from Sophia Wood Massicotte
Sophia Wood Massicotte, Holistic Healer
Sophia Wood Massicotte is a free spirit. Her Soul is here to live, learn and love with an open heart.
Sophia has devoted her life to explore, express and embody her Divine Feminine Essence through a mixture of movement, sound, breath and stillness.
Her “raison d’être” is to serve and restore harmony, balance, wholeness and healing to humanity and Mother Earth.
She is the founder of The Art of Being Well, a holistic healing space which provides her the opportunity to connect with inspiring women, create empowering content, and facilitate powerful women’s circles and wellness workshops.
