Written by: David Kegley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The Overwhelming Fear of Cancer
Much of the world lives with an overwhelming fear of cancer. Those of us who have been diagnosed can describe the moment of diagnosis. We thought it was a death sentence and so did our family and friends. It certainly scared us to death! Yet, for most of us, it wasn’t a death sentence. These days most people who are diagnosed will not die of their cancer.
The overwhelming fear that cancer is about to kill us is among the most difficult things to cope with for cancer fighters. One of the reasons is that cancer originally waged a surprise attack. We were going along on the presumption (sometimes the illusion) that everything was just fine and suddenly we were fighting for our lives.
This was true for one of my friends who one day found it hard to swallow and literally that same day found out that he had a serious and aggressive throat cancer that if not dealt with within the near future would most certainly take his life. (By the way, he dealt with it ten years ago and I went hiking with him last summer!)
This was also true for my double mastectomy client who just thought she should have a routine mammogram after her first child was born and the doctors discovered a serious tumor. She now plays tennis regularly and has a whole new perspective on life.
Both people feared for their lives and fought hard for their survival during their diagnosis and treatment phases. As is true for me and most cancer survivors, every time we discover a new and somewhat mysterious pain, we skip a couple of steps and go straight to “I must have cancer again and this time I may not be so lucky!!!”
Six Things You Can do to Manage Cancer Anxiety
How to cope with the stress of cancer is a central issue for us. Here are several strategies that can lift you out of cancer anxiety:
1. Use your doctors as needed. When symptoms emerge, we will have the tendency to think that our cancer is returning to haunt us. That may or may not be the case. It never hurts to get your hunch checked out. Let your physician make the judgment call and put you at ease. If you are calling them every week and this gets a little crazy, they’ll let you know. A good idea might be to ask your medical provider to identify what to look for that would indicate that your cancer is back. You sometimes must help your doctors help you.
2. Create a list of your most powerful positive distractions. Since our brains are now set on a hair trigger alarm for our health and we find ourselves anxious around what our bodies are doing, we need to simply distract ourselves from false alarms. A headache that came and went, for example, doesn’t mean that cancer has returned even though our brains have triggered an alarm and we’ve become extremely anxious. That’s where the powerful, positive distractions list comes into play.
Think of a list of ten or so things that get you focused mentally. It could be a problem you are currently solving at work or an event you’re planning for your family and/or friends or a hobby you enjoy. They should be your top ten. Things that make your mouth water. Things that if I were to ask you a question about any one of them, you would perk up and it would be difficult for me to break into the stream of your thoughts for the next half hour! Pull this list up whenever your cancer anxiety gets triggered. Use the list to move you off thinking about cancer and on to thinking about one of your favorite topics.
3. Watch the calendar for clues. We all live by patterns. Women have a strong hormonal pattern and if you are on hormone therapy, this can mean that your monthly cycle combined with the therapy can cause you to be more susceptible to cancer anxiety. For men who are on hormone therapy, there is a heightened sense of emotional mood swings. Being wise to the fact that there is body chemistry affecting our anxiety can help us reason with ourselves. We can remind ourselves that the fear we feel will pass because it is mostly due to a wash of hormones and we can manage ourselves in the meantime.
Most of us in the post-treatment phase have a schedule for cancer checks. These cancer check dates are often the source of heightened cancer anxiety. We worry that the cancer check will reveal that our cancer is back and we’ll have to start with treatment all over again. You may have to schedule some worry into your life given this reality. You can remind yourself that every time the cancer check comes up, like clockwork, so does your anxiety. Be an observer of yourself. See that reality. Armed with that awareness, you can better cope with it and understand yourself.
4. Use de-stressing techniques. (Mindfulness, deep breathing, visualizations, relaxing yoga, etc.) These days it is abundantly clear that mindfulness meditation can significantly transform an anxious mind into a calm one. One can hardly drive two city blocks without stumbling across a mindfulness hub. The internet is filled with mindfulness workshops and classes. Some of my clients find it hard to accept quieting their minds when they are filled with a storm of concern about something as concretely fearsome as cancer. Mindfulness seems somewhat remote to their reality. However, just ten minutes of simplified mindfulness (often taught in cancer support groups!) affects the brain in positive ways of those who try it.
Sometimes a little bit of deep breathing combined with visualization and a person is in a state of mindfulness without ever calling it mindfulness. Sometimes just a little deep belly breathing can do the trick all by itself! I’ve found that people find what works for them. What gets you calm? What helps you go from agitated and anxious to relaxed and serene? Do that.
5. Create a movement practice that is custom fit for you. Movement often gets overlooked for cancer survivors. After the shock of diagnosis, then the pain and longsuffering of treatment, who wants to think about exercise? But it’s part of getting healthy. It’s part of feeling whole again. If you’ve been doing next to nothing while recovering, gradually increase to 150 minutes of movement per week in whatever way you can. If physical therapy was part of your physician-led recovery plan, please follow that plan and then create a plan for how you’ll continue to do the movement from there on. You’ll sleep better, manage anxiety better and get stronger physically and mentally.
6. Watch your language. What we say creates the world in which we live. Use your language to create your new future. Notice if your language evokes fear in you or if it evokes calm. Observe the language you are using. Then, write out what you want to be. Make some declarations around your future self, then begin to move into that desired future.
It's Not All About Anxiety
I have caught myself saying that I was really stressed out prior to my cancer diagnosis. I’ve also heard myself say that I “should” have managed my anxiety and stress better in the two years prior to my diagnosis. Like so many of us, I think what I wanted was to find a preventable cause to my cancer journey and say maybe it was anxiety. That is probably not the case. We like to blame stress for just about everything. Here’s what the U.S. National Cancer Institute says: “Although stress can cause a number of physical health problems, the evidence that it can cause cancer is weak.” (Psychological Stress and Cancer ‒ NCI)
Cancer anxiety is the product of our fear of death, the loss of control of our bodies, the pain of treatment and how we are often surprised by its presence in our own body. While many around the globe will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime, most will survive cancer and die of another cause. What’s important for those of us who do survive cancer is how we manage the worry that comes with such a weighty disease. There’s a lot of good life to be had despite cancer. May we be enabled to reach for it!
You can reach David at: drkegley.com or LinkedIn
David Kegley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Kegley specializes in coaching well-educated, progressive leaders and executives who have been stopped in their tracks due to health setbacks. His doctorate is in theology and preaching. His first 25-year career was in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A., where he was a Pastor and Head of Staff. But, after getting nearly burned out, getting diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, and going through cancer treatment, he emerged as a credentialed coach. Now he Coaches in the areas where he experienced his own humility and growth: Health and Wellness, The Cancer Journey, Burnout Recovery, and Leadership and Executive.
