Written by: Eric Deeter, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The grave marker was weathered and worn. I could hardly make out the words. The person who died had no name. Only the word "Infant" identified the one who lay buried here. The names of the father and mother and the date of the child's death were the only identity offered to me, a curious wanderer 150 years later.
This cemetery, where my wife's grandparents are buried, and where a marker is already in place for her parents, holds a mixture of headstones from ancient to modern. Those from the 1800s are faded and worn. Some have worn smooth with time, and the names and dates are lost forever.
There seems to be a natural drive inside us to be remembered after we die. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt had the power and wealth to be remembered in a big way. But there were generations of humans between their death and the rise of modern archeology who only looked at the pyramids and saw a stack of rocks or a source of plunder.
The question we all have at one time or another is "does my life matter?" and "will anyone remember I was here?"
Our tendency to build, create, and innovate comes, in some part at least, from this desire to be remembered. From the architect who designed the subway to the youth covering its walls with graffiti, the desire is to say "I was here! I did this!" You might even say that my few words here come from this same innate desire to leave a mark on the world.
Here is the frustrating part we all face. We don't control how we are remembered. Some famous people have tried: writing out their epitaphs before they died. But history is written by the living. Even famous authors, painters, and musicians have their stories told by people they never knew.
Memorial Day weekend in the United States is celebrated as a time of remembrance. Many families have a tradition of putting flowers on the graves of their deceased relatives. My wife and I took her parents to the cemetery which is what led me to find the infant's grave marker. That discovery, in turn, led to these reflections. "How will I be remembered?" Or the deeper question, "Will I be remembered?" In one hundred years, will I be a barely legible name on a stone in a cemetery full of anonymous names? Will that be my only mark left on this world?
Here is what came to me from my musings:
I don't want a monument with my name on it. I don't worry about whether I become famous or have my life discussed in history books. I don't even have that much control over what people think of me right now, while I'm alive. I may not be remembered one hundred years from now, but I want some people to be living a different destiny because of what I'm doing right now.
I am a coach at heart. And coaches aren't usually remembered except as a footnote in the story of someone who made a huge mark on the world. And sometimes, the coach is forgotten because the person making a mark on the world is several generations removed from the work the coach did.
I work with people who want to break the patterns and limits that get passed from generation to generation and become the best version of themselves. Yes, this allows you to live an awesome and epic life. And it's good to enjoy an awesome life! But others will take notice as well, and see the possibilities of living their own epic life. You can't guarantee the outcome for others. But you can do everything possible to be an amazing human being.
You and I can make a mark on the world. Others will tell the story when we're gone. It's up to you and me to give them an epic plot.
Eric Deeter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Eric Deeter is an entrepreneur, published author, certified life coach, podcaster, and barefoot/minimalist ultramarathon runner. He says that the mindset for life transformation and the mindset for ultramarathon running is the same. A goal that seems impossible at first becomes a reasonable challenge to work towards. He helps his clients discover and go after their EPIC THING: that big dream or goal they have put away in the back corner of their minds.
