Written by: Lainne Love, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Being a working parent is an opportunity to develop your skills in self-mastery. Many entrepreneurs and business professionals who come to me for coaching are also parents, and they have difficulty managing those two roles.
I understand them because I have shared their challenges:
A full-time job.
Nurturing a successful business.
Parenting (I am a single parent of a neurodivergent child).
I tell my working parent clients that committing to the practice of self-mastery will make a meaningful impact for them in their work and parenting roles, just like it did for me.
I would argue that self-mastery is the single most crucial skill in parenting—just like in any other aspect of life. Simply put, parenting is more manageable, enjoyable, and successful the more self-mastery you have. And when parenting is going well, you have more energy and creativity to devote to your professional life so you can make more money.
I will give you an example. With time I realized that my young son and I have different social needs. My child is most comfortable with one-on-one interaction and does best in small groups. But I'm an extrovert—I get energy from being around many people.
I would take us to busy social settings that wouldn't support his needs. He would have outbursts, and I would have trouble managing him. As a result, other people could not see my son's beauty because his behavior created discord. I would feel resentful of my son and drained of energy because I wasn't getting filled up in the way I longed to be. My son felt rejected and unwanted. Nobody was winning in those scenarios.
I came to accept that the solution depended on me, not my son. I was the problem. The most important thing that needed to change so that my son and I would both have success was that I had to take 100% responsibility for how I was creating the disruption we experienced. I needed to look at my choices and master myself to show up as the loving parent and leader I chose to be.
I realized it was selfish to try and fulfill my wants at his expense and the expense of others around us. It was necessary to take ownership, be a conscious parent, and fulfill my social desires in ways that were also respectful of him and our community.
Moving through the simple steps below provided the space to do little experiments so that I could learn what would be most supportive for my son, myself, and others. My goal was to set us up for success.
Step 1:
Notice. Become willing to look at my actions and how they create disruption. As with any challenge, gain clarity on what the problem is.
Step 2:
Take responsibility for the role I am playing. Everything is my fault.
Step 3:
Start crafting dynamic solutions. Leave room to pivot.
First, I noticed that the time of day mattered: in the mornings, my son tolerated more social input. And I saw that though smaller groups were generally better, my son could be in larger groups if the activity was outdoors or if we were with older children who could be mindful of his needs.
With a bit of trial and error, I gained the information required to enjoy social settings and contribute to them. As a result, social events became invigorating for me instead of draining.
By taking responsibility and growing myself, I crafted a solution that created a win-win. Focusing my attention on myself allowed me to heal what was in the way and open my heart more to my son, deepening our relationship. Self-mastery enabled me to show up to my coaching clients as an influential leader which led to more demand for my services, and for my son as a kind, loving parent which strengthened our bond.
The experience was one of many that have taught me how important it is to take responsibility and take action to improve ourselves. We will always run into challenges—whether working parents or not—but we will approach those challenges as our best selves if we pursue a path of self-mastery.
It’s an honor to be here with you to share whatever wisdom I have that will positively impact your journey and legacy. Who you choose to be creates ripples that last for generations. If you would like to go more in-depth or have any questions, I invite you to connect with me at lainne@lainne.com.
Lainne Love, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lainne Love, is an Award Winning Intuitive Business Coach & Author, Leading Edge Healer, CEO, Mystic, and Momma. Growing up in a toxic environment left her feeling broken, worthless, and powerless. To overcome her limited beliefs and create a new legacy, Lainne did a deep dive into healing and mastery to uncover how to restore her power that felt lost in the chaos of trauma. Now she inspires others to break free through self-mastery so they too can reclaim their power and birth the legacy they are here to deliver.
