Written by: Laurie Levin, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As a coach supporting others to optimal health and well-being, I’ve come to deeply understand the importance of emotional management to maximize one’s potential, opportunities, and growth. Emotional management is undoubtedly one of the single most important factors in creating and sustaining a growing business, healthy relationships, a healthy body, and fulfilling life.
We’ve heard it before—it’s an inside job—and that has more relevance today than perhaps ever before as we are living at a time of unprecedented change and challenge.
Growth and success, in all areas of life, depend upon our ability to manage our emotions. Many of us live our lives reacting to events and circumstances rather than responding with the desired outcome in mind. Managing one’s emotions puts the desired outcome at the forefront, rather than the challenge and circumstances.
There is a very special formula that gives us further insight:
E + R = O
Event + Response = Outcome
It is our responses that create the outcomes in our lives, not the events or circumstances themselves.
Well-managed emotions, like a well-managed schedule and well-managed money, bring order and clarity into our lives. We feel more confident, secure, self-assured, and in control of ourselves and responses to events and challenges.
Unmanaged emotions bring chaos, confusion, and a narrow perspective. We tend to overreact, overeat, overcare, overspend, overwork. We get agitated more easily, feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or anxious—more often. There is less clarity and more confusion.
This is because, in a stress state with an unmanaged emotion, a key signal from the heart to the brain tells the brain, “Fight, flight, or freeze.” Fight, flight, and freeze are usually not the responses we need or want at work, school, at home, driving our car, or out with friends.
There can be significant consequences to unmanaged emotions. Overreact and we can find ourselves damaging relationships and our health. Overeating can impact our health, our ability to sleep well and perform on the job. Overcare can have us feel out of control with our time and schedule. Overwork can impact relationships, sleep, and overall quality of life. Overspend—well, many of these same aspects of our lives are impacted.
So how do we manage our emotions, feel and be our best, and create positive outcomes, wherever we are, whatever is going on around us, and whoever we are with?
We start with the heart!
This graphic displays a key signal from the heart to the brain called HRV: heart rate variability. It is the change from one heartbeat to the next. You can see how disorderly and erratic the HRV is in a stress state, like when you are feeling frustrated, angry, anxious, overwhelmed, depressed, or lonely. Cortisol (the stress/aging hormone) is produced in the body anytime we are feeling these emotions.
Compare that signal to the HRV labeled “appreciation” which results when a person is feeling a renewing emotion like appreciation, care, or compassion. This signal tells the brain, “I’m okay. I got this!” DHEA, the vitality/anti-aging hormone, is produced with a renewing emotion.
We can de-stress and create an orderly and smooth heart signal on demand. Stress is most damaging at the moment, so having a quick tool to de-stress can truly save the day—or the relationship, or one’s health, a decision to be made, lessen cortisol production, and reduce wear and tear on ourselves, and those around us.
Here are three simple steps that will shift a disorderly HRV (heart rate variability) to a smooth and orderly HRV.
Step 1: Heart Focus
Shift your attention to the area of your heart or the center of your chest. It might help to put your hand on your heart to keep your focus there as you are learning the technique.
Step 2: Heart Breathing
Breathe a little slower and deeper than usual. Imagine the air entering and leaving through the heart area. Many people find five seconds in and five seconds out is comfortable and effective.
Step 3: Heart Feeling
While you continue to do Heart Focus and Heart Breathing, think of a time when you felt good inside and re-experience that feeling. Or think of a person or pet that you appreciate and feel what it is like to be with them. Focus on this good feeling as you continue to breathe through the area of your heart.
After one to two minutes notice how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. The more you practice this technique throughout your day, the more you will benefit from it. As events, opportunities, and challenges occur, more and more, you will notice your ability grows to pause and ask yourself, “What outcome do I want? Now choose my response.”
This is one of several HeartMath® techniques that creates the optimal state of heart coherence. You will feel balanced, confident, and secure and take that wherever you go, whomever you are with, and into whatever is happening in your life.
In the state of heart coherence, now make that business decision, notice a change in perspective and respond to a loved one, approach a team member, create that next big idea, and make that healthy choice for lunch.
This technique will help you perform better on tests, in sports, help you get along better with others, collaborate more effectively, work more creatively and productively, and calm down when you are feeling anxious or stressed.
You have to breathe anyway, right? Why not breathe in and out of your heart, and feel a renewing feeling like care and appreciation rather than opting for depleting feelings like frustration, anxiety, or overwhelm?
It truly is a choice. Let your heart and heart’s intelligence de-stress you, guide you, optimize every situation, decision, opportunity, and conversation from this day forward, and watch things flourish all around you.
Laurie Levin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Laurie Levin is an author (Call Me A Woman: On Our Way to Equality and Peace) and Transformation Coach. She specializes in optimal nutrition, healthy weight loss, and the leading HeartMath® stress reduction techniques. She has been a featured speaker on each of these topics. Laurie has an MBA, is a Certified Coach, and HeartMath® Certified Coach, supporting clients globally to achieve their health and well-being goals. Her new book, Call Me A Woman: On Our Way to Equality and Peace, provides real life experiences, global studies, and insights, and the 7 Habits of Equality that will reshape the world into one where all children have equal opportunities, from the beginning to the end of their lives. Healthy Happy Equal: It takes all 3 to thrive!
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