Written by: Jodie Salt, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Why you should lighten up to become a luminary leader?
‘Luminary’ has become a more prominent word in my work recently. It means ‘a person who inspires or influences others, especially one prominent in a particular sphere’. My assertiveness coaching work, especially with female leaders, has shone a light on this as a particular area of focus as I support them to battle through the boardroom, successfully navigate the ‘boys club’ mentality, and shatter glass ceilings in their quest for credibility and influence.
It all came to a head with a random lightbulb moment a couple of weeks back in the most bizarre of places. I was at a theme park with my two eldest daughters, and we’d just ridden the ‘The Smiler’ - Alton Towers’ biggest roller coaster with no fewer than 14 inversions and holding the world record for such. As we left the ride, I was overwhelmed with emotion. My chin was wobbling, I had a lump in my throat, and my eyes began to well up. The girls turned to me and asked, “What’s wrong, mum?” I replied, “There’s nothing wrong, in fact, completely the opposite. I feel alive!” Yes, I was overwhelmed but with joy. I felt the endorphins pumping through my veins. I felt invigorated, as if I’d been woken from an 18-month slumber. I’d no idea just how significant the negative impact this pandemic had had on me. I’d been numb. And if that is what had happened to me, then it sure as damn it had been happening for other people too.
That lightbulb moment allowed me to see clearly that we’ve been living under such a big cloud for so long. It has worn us down, stripped us of our imagination, piled on the pressure and stress, pushed us to the brink of breakdown in some cases, and never have I noticed for myself and many leaders that I work with to such a degree, that we’re taking ourselves so seriously these days. The weight of responsibility and accountability has burnt us out. Feeling like this keeps us a million miles away from being a luminary leader.
The answer? If I were to tell my clients to just ‘lighten up, will you!’ I’m not sure I’d get the best reaction but wait... there’s something really important and powerful in this if we look to neuroscience. My female clients specifically encounter an unwanted by-product that is a sure-fire sign that we’re on the money with this one. That sign is unexplained mid-section weight gain. It’s a classic stress signal in midlife. Here’s what’s going on... Operating under such pressure and taking ourselves so seriously causes the brain to release stress hormones - cortisol and adrenaline, whose primary job is to protect us and instigate our fight/flight response. (The mid-section weight element is protecting us by laying down fat around our organs). The issue is we’re constantly in this mode, and we’re not designed to be. The role of adrenaline is to redirect blood to muscles to run or fight when faced with danger. Our modern-day danger, however, is no longer a physical danger. It is a psychological danger, meaning that blood flow would better serve our brains than our limbs, thus hampering our ability to engage in rational decision-making when we need it most.
To make good decisions and lead in a way that inspires and influences, ultimately becoming a luminary leader, requires us to reduce the levels and duration of the stress hormones and trigger the release of the feel-good hormones oxytocin and serotonin. And that’s what happened for me on that roller coaster. My body was flooded with happiness hormones, and I realized I hadn’t felt that in such a long time. These two hormones allow us to open up the learning centers in our brains so that we can tap into all of our resources. There is a tangible leadership benefit from feeling relaxed, happy, experiencing joy, and learning to lighten up!
Here are some tell-tale signs that you might benefit from focusing on this as it’s not always obvious:
Your accomplishments are never enough
You second guess yourself
You devalue your triumphs
You constantly compare yourself to others
You keep yourself awake at night
You never take risks
You are hard on others
You don’t take any ‘me’ time
You feel stressed quite often
You very rarely find yourself laughing or having fun
You’re stubborn and rigid
And if you ticked off a few from that list, then here are my top tips to help you get started to making some positive changes:
1. Find humor – whether it’s in a comedy TV show or watching kittens on YouTube. Laughing reduces stress, anxiety, and fear. It bonds us with people. It boosts the immune system, lowers blood pressure, oxygenates the blood, relaxes muscles, increases pain tolerance, gives us more energy, and increases happiness!
2. Let go of the notion of perfection. Imperfection adds character. Get rid of or lower expectations of yourself and others.
3. Learn to manage and remove stress – step back, breathe, find the pause button – learn to respond rather than react. Practice coming from a place of desired results and principles, not moods, feelings, and circumstances.
4. Limit negativity. Negative thoughts turn into negative attitudes and actions. Focus on what can be done, not what can’t. Have an abundance mentality – always seeking new chances and opportunities. Seeing life longer term can help you perform better and remove the pressure and anxiety of scarcity and ‘only 1 shot’ mentality.
5. My favorite – be a rule breaker! – Some rules make you stubborn and rigid. Learn to bend the rules and improve your relationship with others
6. Keep working on your self–development, learning, reflection, etc.
7. Forgive easily – holding a grudge uses too much time and energy. Create peace and calm in your life. Learn how to effectively hold people accountable. Then let it go.
8. Lastly and most importantly, get out of the weeds and into the rainbows – what I mean by that is step back and discover what truly matters in your life? What is really worth your time, energy, and effort?
If becoming a luminary leader is one of your goals or aspirations, you can read more about it in my new book, Woman Up, released on the 2nd of September 2021. You can be the first to be notified of its release and get access to exclusive resources by adding your email address to the waitlist.
Want to learn more from Jodie? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website.
Jodie Salt, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jodie Salt is an expert in assertiveness, leadership, and behavioral change. Following a successful corporate career as an Executive Coach, she now specializes in coaching women to help them smash the glass ceiling, navigate the boys club mentality and grow their credibility. She is co-founder of Ladies Life Lounge, an online members club for women who want more! Providing development, coaching, and a supportive community to help women live the happy, fulfilling & successful life they deserve. Jodie is also the author of Woman Up - The Modern Woman's Guide to Living a Liberated Life.
