Written by: Kathryn Cluff, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
Likely you have heard some variation of or seen countless memes about life being all about the journey. This sounds quite poetic, but what does it mean? We string moments, hours, days, and years together to weave a unique and beautiful tapestry of life experiences. This tapestry is our story and represents the continuous process of learning.
In my thinking, there is no place we arrive for good. No pinnacle we reach to camp out for the remainder of our days. The point really is the journey because that is where we experience growth and live life. Afterall, the past is about experiences we have had – the known. The future is speculation based on the past. So, in order to be fully engaged in the incredibly unique and personal journey of life, we need to be willing to accept and even lean into what we do not know. This can be scary.
Recently, I have had some uncomfortable opportunities to help me along with my path and experience growth. Specifically, this learning is about ego. I have regarded ego as a negative, boisterous, in-your-face brute most of my life. What I have been coming to terms with though is the sneaky side of ego that causes us to hide.
The ego operates from a place of self-protection and often from fear and/or shame. In either case, the inner voice can speak critical words that have the potential to make us feel small. The result can cause us to fall into people pleasing (proving) or perfectionism (performing). We then tend to isolate, to cover up, and wrongfully believe that the world does not have need of our unique gifts. If we function out of obligation, engage in people pleasing or perfectionism as a mask, our motivation is fear-based. “What will people think?” becomes the driving question.
Unfortunately, we miss the opportunity to fully engage in life and relationships under the restrictions of fear. Yes, fear can also be a great motivator if we see it clearly and are able to face it with authenticity. This can be done by being curious and asking questions. What am I afraid of? Why am I afraid? What is the source of my fear? Is it legitimate?
Meditation and Intentional journaling are great tools to support working through such questions. There is a place for ranting and clearing cluttered thoughts verbally or through journaling, but beginning quiet time and journaling with a question, curiosity and with the intention of learning about ourselves is a safe way to delve into the ego. There is no need to hide any aspects of our behavior, no one to please and nothing to prove. By utilizing these essential tools, we better understand our own story.
I was able to redefine my understanding of the ego by sitting quietly and answering questions through journaling. This is just one example of experiencing life through the lens of curiosity. Maybe your current experience looks much different. For each of us, it is still about the journey. Please remember to acknowledge your achievements and growth as well as acknowledging others. Afterall, we are all on this journey of life together.
Kathryn Cluff, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Kathryn Cluff is a gifted holistic healer and empowering life-transformation guide for women. She is the solopreneur of Soul Roots, LLC, based in the sacred Black Hills and serves clients virtually throughout the world.
At the age of 30, she became a widow and single mother of four children under the age of 8. Kathryn struggled for years with anxiety, and at one point considered suicide. It was nearly 20 years later when she reached that pivotal, rock-bottom point and made the decision to begin her journey of healing, self-love, and empowered living.
Kathryn’s signature Habits that Heal Hearts & Empower Women Program combines holistic arts and research-based practices, moving progressively through a process that equips women with powerful rituals proven to bring physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance. It is based on her own life-changing journey, personal practices, training in multiple styles of healing yoga and meditation, and as a Reiki practitioner. She is passionate about teaching as many women as possible how to heal themselves by calming the nervous system and reprogramming their inner dialogue from self-judgment to self-compassion and self-love.
Kathryn is committed to helping women live in harmony with the joys and the challenges of life—healing trauma, building confidence, establishing clarity, and creating the life and relationships desired. She offers a complimentary discovery session to stoke the fires of inspiration and open the heart and mind to the incredible possibilities awaiting.
