Written by: Sonjali Di Guida, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Like a caged bird, we are sometimes stuck in the confines of our heads, singing our own melodies of freedom. Oh, that feeling of overwhelm, weighing down on you and your confidence like a bolder in your otherwise beautiful garden! We contemplate how to cope, only to find that the tactics we employ may very well be as useful as ingesting a poisoned apple.
Imagine you were camping with four other people, and there was a terrible storm which collapsed your tent. In this scenario, your closest mate looks at the others and yells out, “It’s all your fault, you should have checked the weather.” In the meantime, your other mate blurts out, “I don’t really know my way around these woods, but so everyone feels better, I will go and find help”. Meanwhile, the third person adjusts her spectacles and looks at the collapsed excuse of a tent and states, “If we were to analyze this further, the support bracket could only hold roughly forty-seven pounds of weight”. Finally, your last mate stares off into the distance and excitedly yelps, “Look a bird!”
What do these four friends have in common? They are each using a coping stance, but NOT fixing the tent!
Virginia Satir, a reputable therapist, recognized the coping patterns people use when they do not feel safe enough to be honest with themselves.
Perhaps you can relate to one of those mates from your camping trip? Be it blamer, placater, computer or distracter, as in our example, these coping stances at times really helped us get through difficult times. They may very well have serviced us when seeking shelter from uncomfortable situations, stress, and challenging relationships. These patterns may have helped us at home, in the workplace, personally and professionally, yet they are not useful to achieving our outcomes. They leave us static, and treading through the woods at a snail’s pace.
While we should, in retrospect, thank our unconscious minds for giving us these coping mechanisms, there is a more liberating and useful solution: level with yourself.
When we finally allow ourselves to do this, we can finally take action to grow through our challenges. Yes, there may be some emotional baggage you take with you on your camping trip, but using these coping patterns only makes your luggage heavier in the long run.
I implore you, take action and fix your proverbial tent. You will find your tune much more upbeat when you are pitching a tent on level grounds.
Sonjali Di Guida, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sonjali Di Guida, is a passionate and outcome driven hypnotist, dedicated to helping individuals master their growth mindset, from the very core of their beings – the subconscious. With her training from the Master Hypnotist Society as well as utilization in Neuro linguistic programming systems, her clinic, The West Island Hypnosis Center has helped her many clients make transformational changes – both personally and professionally. Her executive background as well as her experience running her consulting firm and hypnosis clinic have allowed her to continuously master her craft in changemaking.
