Written by: Vince Morales, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go in order to move forward.” - C. S. Lewis
Bad things happen, even to good people. It is just a fact of life. Disappointment will come. We will lose loved ones. The people who promised to stay may leave. These are events we cannot control or stop. What is in our control is our reaction to those events.
When things go wrong in the journey of life, you have one of two choices. You can hold on to the pain, the disappointment, the anger, and the guilt. You can dwell on the terrible events and allow them to govern how you live your life. You can live in the past and let it dictate your present and future outcome.
The other option is accepting tough seasons as normal events in our lives. You can let go of the negativity of the situation and embrace the change it brings. You have the choice of pulling yourself up from the rubble and rebuilding your life.
We tend to choose the former. Our minds replay the terrible events over and over like a broken record. It seems easier to hold on to whatever pain others inflicted on us. We beat ourselves up for the role we played in the events and hold on to the guilt and embarrassment. Often, we do not realize how much damage we are doing to ourselves and others around us by choosing to dwell on the pain of yesterday. Our current and future relationships pay the price of our inability to let go of the hurt and disappointment.
When we cannot let go of painful moments in our lives, we let them rob us of the possibility of a happy tomorrow. If we keep ourselves in a place of pain, anger, discouragement, and guilt, we waste most of our time and energy fixating on things we cannot control or change. Holding on to any of these unfortunate incidents solves nothing. It keeps us wrapped up in misery.
Letting go puts you back on even ground. It gives you the power to pick up the pieces and rebuild. It restores control to you when you deal with the situation and move on from it.
The painful moments we experience help us grow. Holding on to them hinders that growth. There are lessons we can draw from every season life puts us through. It is wise to find lessons from the off-seasons and use them to build a stronger and better version of yourself.
Let go of the past.
Our past, which is inclusive of terrible events, makes up important chapters in our life story. Everything that we go through shapes who we can become. If you hold on to a painful past and live according to it, you rob yourself of the possibility of a happy life. When you focus on hurtful things people have said or done, you give them the power to determine how the rest of your life gets to be.
Let go of the people that hurt you.
If someone walks out on you, it is their loss because they do not get to share in your amazing journey. If a business partner cheated you out of a lucrative deal, or stole your idea, or betrayed your trust, forgive them. You can dream of new ideas. You cannot do that if your mind holds on to hatred and anger. It may not be easy to move on from the hurt inflicted by another person, but it is in your best interest to not give them the space and power over your life.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Let go of situations that do not enrich you.
If something does not add value to you, it has no place in your mind and your life. When being in a certain place no longer serves you well, whether that place is your job or a toxic or unhealthy relationship, it is time to move on from it. Do not feed your time and energy into things that leave you unhappy and drained. It is okay to cut yourself loose from such situations and such people.
Let go of your mistakes.
We forgive the people who wrong us but are less likely to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes. We are far from perfect. We will mess up from time to time. There is no profit in beating yourself up when you miss a step in the right direction. You are not the first person to err, and you will definitely not be the last. Cut yourself some slack.
Remember that each failure you encounter produces a better and more resilient version of you. So in the wake of mistakes and failure, draw the lessons you can and move on. Do not camp around them. Let go of feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt and pick yourself up from the rubble! Use your mistakes as building blocks to a better future.
How to let go.
Letting go starts in the mind. It demands a different perception of yourself and your worth. Letting go is a conscious choice to take back your power from situations that weigh you down.
Deal with the negative thoughts and feelings that certain events bring. Make room for positivity. Get rid of all thoughts that draw you back to a place of helplessness or pain. Infuse your life with positivity. Walk away from toxic environments and unhealthy relationships. Guard your peace by accepting a tough season for what it is a temporary detour.
Fill up your time with productivity. Engage in activities that focus your energy on the present or the future more than the past.
Letting go is saying goodbye to terrible endings and accepting new beginnings. It is putting yourself back into a place of power.
Do yourself that favor by learning the art of letting go.
Vince Morales, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Vince Morales is a mindset, self-image, and resilience coach. In addition, he is skilled in leadership consultation and development. From April 2016 to June 2017, Vince was a homeless veteran in San Diego, CA. While homeless he made a powerful decision to change his thinking and mindset launching into life coaching. He developed a niche for resilience and mindset coaching. The growth of his business ultimately led to the end of his homelessness. Vince is Founder of Validus Coaching & Consulting, formerly Zoe Transformation. His story has been featured in online articles and online news outlets all over the U.S. He is a certified John Maxwell Team Coach, Trainer, & Speaker as well as a motivational speaker. In 2021, Vince earned his Master's degree in Psychology of Leadership from Penn State University and is currently a doctoral student pursuing a Ph.D. in Performance Psychology. He is a 2020 inductee in The National Society of Leadership and Success.
