Stacey Uhrig is a Certified Trauma Care Practitioner, Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, speaker, and host of the Flip Your Mindset podcast. She specializes in helping individuals heal unresolved childhood and developmental trauma, equipping clients with tools to reframe their narratives and build resilience, self-confidence, and authentic connections.
In the United States, we often measure our worth by what we have built, owned, or accomplished. Our homes, possessions, careers, and bank accounts symbolize success, safety, and control. Many of us tie our sense of identity and security to these external markers, which can be seen, counted, and praised.
However, here's a hard truth: anything that can be taken from us is an external power. When we lose these things, as those suffering in Los Angeles are experiencing now, we must confront a deeper question: What remains when everything external is stripped away?
I know this truth all too well. In 2012, as a family of four with two young children, ages 8 and 3, living in an affluent suburb of NYC, we lost everything financially. I was terrified. My nervous system was an absolute wreck. I was in a complete state of panic and overwhelmed.
During one particularly dark moment, when I found myself curled up in a fetal position on my kitchen floor, I became curious about what my nervous system was reacting to. In that moment, I came to a powerful realization. My entire sense of safety and security was tied to something so fleeting: money. It was something that could be ripped, shredded, or even flushed down a toilet.
Money isn’t inherently valuable; it’s just paper, printed without special ink or precious materials. I also realized that my access to joy, contentment, and happiness was directly tied to how safe and secure I felt. This realization was a problem because I knew I wouldn't have access to an abundance of money for many years to follow.
That moment changed me forever. I realized I had been trusting in something external that could disappear instantly. When it did, I had no foundation left. In the years that followed, I had to learn to rebuild not only my finances but also my sense of safety, security, and access to joy from within.
The fragility of the material world
The LA wildfires have caused thousands of families to face the sudden loss of their homes, possessions, and routines. What once provided comfort and a sense of control has been reduced to ash in moments.
Buddhism teaches us that fragility is not an anomaly but the inherent nature of all things. Impermanence (anicca) is a fundamental truth of existence, reminding us that everything in the material world is transient. While this truth can feel harsh, it also offers profound wisdom. When we stop clinging to what is impermanent, we can find freedom in what remains.
Compassion: The foundation of healing
In moments of crisis, compassion becomes the glue that holds us together. In my personal struggle, I felt very isolated. I didn’t know anyone else going through what I was experiencing. Quite frankly, there was a lot of shame involved, despite my financial struggles stemming from closing a business rather than personal financial mismanagement.
One of the greatest gifts I gave myself during this crisis was sharing with trusted individuals what was happening. By doing so, I opened up the opportunity for people to offer support, including financial, emotional, and psychological help, and for me to receive it with grace. More importantly, I learned to accept it without self-judgment. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end, you know how difficult this can be. Compassion from others, along with my ability to accept it, became my lifeline.
The LA wildfires are different because they are a very public crisis, with many people experiencing a similar situation at the same time. This has led to countless acts of compassion: firefighters risking their lives, neighbors offering shelter, and communities rallying to support one another.
In Buddhism, karuna (compassion) is not just a feeling; it is an action. It is the recognition that we are all interconnected and that by easing another’s suffering, we also ease our own.
Compassion transforms individual pain into collective healing.
Letting go: A path to freedom
Letting go is one of the most challenging yet liberating lessons that life can teach us. For those affected by the LA wildfires, the loss of possessions is not just material; it is deeply emotional. Letting go involves mourning what has been lost while finding the strength to move forward.
Buddhist teachings encourage us to view letting go not as a defeat but as an opportunity for growth. When we release our attachment to things we cannot control, we create space for transformation. This doesn’t mean denying our grief or pain; instead, it means allowing ourselves to fully experience those emotions without letting them consume us.
The practice that saved me
For me, the path to letting go was rooted in gratitude. The main thing that helped me through my struggles wasn’t a sudden realization or a miraculous change in circumstances. It was a very specific, hour-by-hour, step-by-step gratitude practice.
I discovered I had placed too much power in things that could be taken away. Even worse, I realized I had taken them for granted. This led me to wonder: What else have I overlooked?
So, I decided to start small. With each step I took, I silently expressed my gratitude, saying to myself:
Thank you for my ability to move.
Thank you for my ability to walk these stairs.
Thank you for being able to sit on the toilet.
Thank you for brushing my teeth.
Thank you for hearing my kids argue.
Thank you for expressing my voice.
I focused on the small, simple moments. Thinking about the bigger issues was too overwhelming at that time. This gratitude practice grounded me in the present and kept my mind from spiraling into a future filled with uncertainty.
Step by step, I realized that gratitude wasn’t just a passing thought. It was a lifeline. It anchored me to the here and now, allowing me to appreciate the present moment and recognize the profound value in things I had previously overlooked. More importantly, it reminded me that true security doesn’t come from what I possess but from my ability to notice, appreciate, and find meaning in the everyday gifts of life.
Gratitude as an anchor
In my experience, gratitude is more than just a practice; it acts as a bridge. It has helped me move from despair to resilience and from fear to a sense of grounding.
For those affected by the wildfires, finding moments of gratitude, no matter how small, can be an anchor during an otherwise overwhelming time. It can be as simple as expressing thanks for a breath or the sunlight on your face. These small acknowledgments remind us that, despite the devastation, life offers gifts worth noticing.
What remains unbroken
The LA wildfires have caused significant destruction, but they have not wiped out everything. Love, hope, and community still endure. These intangible gifts cannot be taken from us, regardless of the circumstances.
In my journey of rebuilding after loss, I learned to ground myself in these unshakable truths. My sense of safety and contentment became rooted in what I could give rather than what I could accumulate. The same holds true for the families who are now beginning to rebuild—not just their homes, but their lives.
A collective reflection
For those of us observing from a distance, this tragedy prompts us to reflect inwardly. What are we clinging to that could be lost tomorrow? And what remains when all external influences are stripped away?
Take a moment to consider:
What truly matters to me?
How can I cultivate an inner strength that cannot be taken from me?
How can I extend compassion to others, even in small ways?
The Los Angeles wildfires represent a significant tragedy, but they also offer important lessons that we cannot overlook. They remind us of life’s impermanence, the importance of letting go, and the lasting power of compassion and gratitude.
As we hold space for those affected, let us carry these lessons into our lives. Because when everything external is taken away, what remains is what truly defines us.
Read more from Stacey Uhrig
Stacey Uhrig, Trauma Care Practitioner (CTCP, C-Hyp, RTT-P)
Stacey Uhrig is a Certified Trauma Care Practitioner, Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, speaker, and host of the Flip Your Mindset podcast. She specializes in helping individuals heal unresolved childhood and developmental trauma, equipping clients with tools to reframe their narratives and build resilience, self-confidence, and authentic connections. Using modalities like Hypnosis, Parts Work, and Polyvagal Theory, Stacey empowers clients to find clarity, peace, and purpose in their healing journey. As an adoptive mother to two, she also advocates for trauma-informed parenting and creating nurturing environments for personal growth.
