Written by: Denise Ledi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I recently ran into one of my old managers from years ago. What a surprise! It was great seeing him. His eyes were sparkling. He looked young, fresh, and unburdened. He radiated happiness and peacefulness. A far cry from what he was like the last time I saw him….
A vacant, spiritless man, stuck and rooted in place with his head bent over hunched shoulders. Appearing utterly and defeated. A perfect reflection of the helplessness our team felt, how I felt, trying to reach him. Whether in wider meetings or during our 1:1’s, they were filled with awkward silences and exasperating circular discussions, which ended in futility. The final days of his tenure were mired in mediocrity (at best), nosediving productivity, and a once-mighty team in the throes of a staffing exodus, including yours truly. Gone….
How did this happen? Why did this happen? To the last person, would you ever expect to end his career on a miserable note? These questions raced through my mind as he told me what he’s been up to over the past 15 years. Sadly, I couldn’t tell you what that was. I was lost in memories of what was and what could have been….
He paused, grabbed my hands, looked me dead in the eyes, and said, “Denise. I owe you; I owe all of you an apology. I’m sorry. You tried to help me. And I didn’t listen. I was checked out. I wanted out. The organization changed, and everything was different. I hated it! But I hung on…. I was two years until retirement. I told myself I just had to make it through….but I ended up losing you, our team, and myself in the process. I lost your respect, and I was ashamed of myself. I went out the in the very way I swore I never would, like some people we’ve seen: bitter, tired, and leaving things worse than before.”
Both of our eyes were shining brightly with unshed tears. Raw, heartfelt, and sincere, I saw and felt the truth of his words. I knew the truth, even then….yet I couldn’t reach him. I accept that. He accepted that. And I am grateful. Why? For having had this experience, and for the lessons learned from it; for him, our team, and for me. And that’s the key……
There are no mistakes in life, only lessons Robin Sharma- Leadership Expert
This may sound cliché, but it’s true! And it’s wonderful. Our biggest leadership and life lessons are found by looking within; the conscious effort and willingness to become self-aware. This includes owning all of our challenges, personal or otherwise, especially adversities that arise from our choices. When do we do? Lessons are ripe for discovery and exploration.
So take a look inside! Self-reflect. Own your choices, good, bad, ugly. The tiniest action can and will empower you, opening up the space to let others in and hear alternate views. Although this can be scary, this is a gift. It is an opportunity to see you through the eyes of others and enrich the lifelong cycle and process of learning and growing, learning and growing….
What are your biggest leadership lessons? What have you learned?
To your growth!
Denise Ledi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Denise Ledi is an Empowerment & Executive Leadership Coach based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada serving clients across North America. She has spent more than 20 years as a leader in addiction & mental health, forensics, and correctional healthcare and knows firsthand how complex and challenging it can be to lead in ever-changing environments. Denise integrates real-world leadership experience, experiences as a coaching client with expertise as a certified executive trained coach and Master’s trained Criminologist to provide a unique, innovative, integrative perspective to her clients to help them gain clarity and achieve the measurable results they're looking for.
After their mother died, Denise has been a mentor to 100+ professionals and family, including her younger brother & sister. Their father built his Engineering firm into a successful business as a new immigrate to Canada.
Chapter Chair — Powerful Women Today Edmonton, budding podcast host, speaker, and presenter Denise believes that our highest potential is reached by helping others reach theirs. Her primary mission is to empower others to become their best selves, access their whole potential, and make an extraordinary impact on the world!
