Written by: Gina Marie Cassano, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There was a time when I was recruited to work for a software technology company to design and manage a global wellness program. It was such an interesting role, and the opportunity seemed aligned with my goals and vision at that time. Within weeks of accepting this new position, I started my new role. I began my professional journey of helping and supporting others (a passion of mine) with lifestyle and disease management. A few months later, the woman who hired me was let go, and our team was moved under the direction of a woman known in the company as “the terminator.” As you can imagine, that concerned me. This woman had been around a long time, and at one time, was the head of Human Resources. However, I came to find out that she was actually demoted due to the way she treated people.
So here I am, in a new role and company, where I can use my creativity and passion to build a wellness program worldwide, and I was excited! The thought of making a difference across the globe and that this company chose me to lead that effort was beyond motivating! So there I was, working side-by-side with vendors that were all fighting for our business, and in comes “the terminator.” We would be in a meeting, and she would raise her voice, even yell at times, and put people down, telling them that their ideas were stupid and wouldn’t work. Not only that, but she was a workhorse and was so drained and depleted that she would actually fall asleep at the conference table during the meeting that our team was hosting and with vendor partners in the room. It was mortifying! I would try to wake her quietly, hoping no one noticed, although it was clear, they all knew, and she would wake up and pretend she didn’t like the idea and cut it down. Her lack of professionalism was extremely embarrassing and toxic to those around her.
Over the years, the Terminator would create the strategies and change her mind depending on who she spoke to that day. She would outright lie almost daily, and thankfully I had learned this early on. Therefore everything was in writing going forward. She had a terrible memory, and I constantly defended myself and pulled up the emails to prove my case. I felt as if I was on trial! Everything was a fire drill! I was always walking on eggshells because I never knew which version of her would show up that day. This is how this Vice President in Human Resources treated people. Not only was it unbelievable, but disappointing and discouraging. I was on a mission to help our employees across the globe better manage their health and life through supportive programs in lifestyle and chronic condition management. The boss of this initiative was a nightmare and couldn’t care less about how she behaved and made people feel. It was a disgrace.
Although I stayed for several years, I looked for other opportunities to leave this toxic environment. However, nothing sparked my interest. I was never one to job hop or took a position simply because I wanted out of my current job. I always searched and waited for the right opportunity because when I commit to being a part of a team, project, or purpose, I keep that promise. That’s who I am, a woman with a purpose.
Finally, enough was enough, and we had it out. Out of nowhere, she began screaming at me in her office (I don’t even recall why), and it was at that moment, I had enough. I requested that if she wanted me to listen and receive her feedback, I ask that she be open to hearing my feedback. Surprisingly, she was. So I begin by telling her the impact her behavior has on me and others on the team. When she is not truthful, and consistently changes her mind, and blames others for her mistakes, it feels demotivating, frustrating, and demeaning. I felt that she was consistently not true to her word. I continued by letting her know that if she wants a collaborative and high-performing team, she would have to treat us like a team, collaborate with us, and not talk or yell at us. I also mentioned that it was not ok to create a strategy, tell us what to do and how to do it, and then when things go wrong, she blames the team for decisions she made without our input. It was actually an unbelievably toxic environment. You see, no one would make decisions without speaking to her first and then get it in writing because she was unreliable and untrustworthy. She clearly was not a leader, she was a boss.
One day, again, out of nowhere, she accused me of not doing any work, and so I pulled the data and showed her the facts— the actual numbers, as it was clear that my productivity almost doubled the second highest producer on the team. This was the last straw for me! We agree to part ways, and I was given 3 months to find another position in the company.
Thankfully, over the years, I had numerous conversations with her direct manager and the leadership team in HR, letting them know what was going on and how challenging it was for me to work in that toxic environment. I was graciously offered an opportunity to work for a true leader and visionary woman, and I accepted! This was the best thing for me, and I knew it because it was directly aligned with my core values and vision for myself and the company.
You see, this woman (a true leader) had interviewed me years ago for a position that was not a good fit for me and offered to mentor me if I chose that path for myself. Although I did not take her up on that offer at that time for numerous reasons, I would never forget her message. So years later, I was, working on her team, creating and inspiring teamwork, collaborating with leaders and teams in the various organizations within the company. Our team, Enterprise Agility Practice, was known for bringing others together and creating a shared vision across various cultures within the company's organizations. We were the business experts in transformation, agility, and relationships. We coached and mentored many throughout the many internal organizations. We designed and facilitated workshops for leaders and teams and coached them through the challenges they faced in their business, mindset, and relationships. It was wonderful, and I felt blessed.
I learned so much about transformation, coaching, and what it truly means to have an agile mindset and incorporate agility in your life and business. How to transform ourselves, and how we think and work, and build rapport while partnering with our clients to support them on their journey to overcome challenges and reach their goals. It was both empowering and enlightening!
After a few years, lots of growth, and wonderful learning experiences, I decided to use the skills I’ve learned and grow my coaching and transformation mindset by leaving the corporate world and going out on my own. I vision of developing programs for individuals and professionals by shifting their mindsets, habits, and behaviors. That is when I created a mindset transformation business for personal and professional growth. My business is called MindShift Coaching Services, and my clients see significant shifts in their relationships both at home and at work. Seeing my vision and passion come to life is extremely fulfilling.
So, what does this story have to do with being a boss or leader? I’m hoping that sharing my story about my experience working for a micromanaging boss, who talked at people, can enlighten and empower people to stand up for themselves to realize this is not okay and to know their worth. This is compared to an actual leader who lifts you and shows you what’s possible. They support you in your growth and lead by example. A toxic environment at work or home is one of the most emotionally unhealthy places to be.
Who are you being at home and work?
So, what is a true leader?
In my experience, a true leader is someone who is passionate and has a clear and compelling vision. They are consistent in their actions and behaviors to influence others to positively impact and realize that people need to feel valued. They believe in transforming themselves first, inspire others to be the best version of themselves, and are influential in creating lasting change.
Good leaders tend to feel rewarded by supporting others in their personal and professional development journey. They work to create a memorable experience for the people around them, make everyone feel valued, and understand that their own contributions will have a tremendous impact on their future success. These leaders realize that they are transforming people, not process; how we work together, lead, problem solve and connect with others. This connectedness will impact ourselves and our personal relationships and our colleagues, partners, and the people we serve.
An example of what I believe is a true and inspiring leader is Tony Robbins. He has inspired, motivated, and empowered people around the world, including myself, to improve both personally and professionally. He believes in empowering people to be better and greater than they ever thought they could. He promotes growth both emotionally and physically and helps others to overcome challenges they never thought possible. He shows you what is possible.
In an interview on Leadership with Dan Schwabel from Forbes, Tony Robbins stated, “Leadership is the ability to create immediate impact and compel lasting, positive change in others. It’s understanding what motivates people and how to harness the power of influence in yourself and others to achieve a greater vision for mankind at every level. Ultimately, a leader is a master of their own psychology. Because the first person you need to influence is you. Leaders master the art of influence within themselves and with others so that they can act as a force for good and serve something larger than themselves – creating permanent and lasting change around them.”
Good Leader Qualities and Essential Skills
inspirational and motivational
empathetic
expects the best you can do
clearly communicates, and actively listens
focus on team
has clear goals and vision, and shares them with others
inspires creativity
strategy
integrity
recognition
supportive and encouraging
is both a coach and mentor
promotes calculated risk-taking
Some Benefits of Being a Good Leader
A workforce or team that is:
aligned with the vision
empowered
motivated and inspired
innovative and creative
dedicated
loyal
increased morale
happy
more productive
So what now?
Check out this video and learn How to Be a Leader with Four Essential Tips to becoming a good leader.
After all this, do you believe that you’re a good leader?
No not yet? Alright then, read on!
Here are just a few examples to help you get started:
Listen!
Be present!
Show interest. People know when you’re multitasking and when you don’t care, so put your phone away and pay attention!
Be a Mentor and a Coach! Guide them, and ask questions that will stimulate thought and help you better understand individuals, such as;
What is possible?
What does success look like to you?
What could you have done differently to get the result you expected?
How does that make you feel?
What motivates and inspires you?
What are you passionate about?
What is the opportunity or challenge here?
How can I support you?
Offer recognition!
Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated! A simple thank you or this is really good, goes a long way!
Tell them what they’re doing well, not just things you don’t like
In addition to investing in yourself by hiring a coach, what are some of the things that come to mind that you can start doing today to get started on your transformation?
Now, get going by reaching out for a complimentary Discovery session to see how coaching could support you in reaching your goals in your relationships at home and at work.
Gina Cassano, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Meet Gina Marie, certified Transformation Mastery Coach & Relationship Strategist, Founder of MindShift Coaching Services, and TeenLife | TeenStrong. Gina dedicates her life to being a master of mindset, habit, and behavior change, first for herself, then for others. She is living her passion and dream of guiding people towards the life they desire, and most of all, deserve. Gina works with leaders who struggle with their relationships at work and home. She helps them connect and create a shared vision to move their business and life forward with enjoyment and ease! As a former agile business coach, she quickly realized how being unhappy at home impacts mindset and work behaviors. She supports leaders in creating deep and meaningful relationships to show up being present and focused, as the authentic leader that their team and the organization need them to be. Gina believes that how we show up in our personal relationships affects how we show up in every aspect of our life, and vice versus. So, when things feel unsettled at home, we carry that with us, and it comes out in who we are at work and everywhere else. One part is learning how to have successful relationships, and looking inward is the other because mastery starts within. Gina’s Purpose: To support people on their life journey, so they say, “because of working with you, my life has improved, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.” Gina’s favorite quote: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” —Maya Angelou.
Sources:
Tony Robbins: Most Leaders Do What’s Popular, Not What’s Right; by Dan Schwabel, Forbes / Leadership / Like A Boss April 7, 2016
