Donna Reynolds empowers clients to build confidence, understanding it as the foundation for achieving personal goals. With experience working with people of all ages, her Confidence is Key approach helps foster a positive mindset, enabling individuals to move forward with clarity, self-assurance, and resilience.
When is enough enough? When is it okay to set our own boundaries and recognize when enough is enough? How often do we find ourselves or hear of others stuck in situations they would rather avoid simply because they have not yet learned to say, "This is enough"?
Relationships
Relationships are perhaps the most common example. We meet someone who seems amazing. They make us laugh, take us to dinner, and value our opinions. There appear to be no red flags. In the past, red flags were not widely discussed, so we might be blind to them. Even when they are present, we choose not to see them because we are caught up in the excitement of the relationship.
Sometimes, we hear warnings from a former partner who had a bad experience, but we dismiss them, convincing ourselves that it is jealousy or their issue, not ours. How could it be us? We do not see any of what they are talking about, so we continue in blissful ignorance.
Slowly, we start to notice small things. At first, we ignore them. Then, more concerning behaviors appear. Eventually, we see everything they had hidden or what we once thought was charming, funny, or just "them." We may feel irritated but laugh it off, pretending it does not matter. When we finally express how we feel, they might change for a while, but soon the behaviors return worse than before.
At what point do we set boundaries? When do we say, "Enough is enough"?
When people walk away from this kind of relationship, they often blame the other person. They did this. They did that. But the truth is we are in charge of ourselves. We control our own actions. We have become so conditioned to blame others that we rarely take accountability for our own choices. No one forced us into that relationship. No one made us ignore the warning signs or dismiss the advice of an ex-partner. We made those choices ourselves.
Taking responsibility for our role in the situation is empowering. It allows us to ask, What would I do differently next time? How will I change things moving forward? What do I want for myself, and how will I set new boundaries to protect my well-being?
Workplace relationships
We start a new job feeling excited and enthusiastic, ready to give it our all. We form friendships, and everything seems to be going well except for one person who constantly finds fault in our work. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
At first, we brush it off as paranoia. But as time goes on, their behavior worsens, and we start doubting ourselves. Even though others seem happy with our work, we begin to wonder, is everyone secretly talking about me? Am I really as bad as they make me feel? The constant criticism chips away at our confidence, making us question our abilities.
What do we do? Do we endure the situation, speak up, seek support from a senior, or leave? When is enough enough? When do we decide to take action?
The same principle applies here. If we find ourselves in a workplace that makes us unhappy, we have a choice. We can trust ourselves, set new boundaries, and choose to seek an environment where we can thrive. Just like in relationships, we must recognize when it is time to walk away and prioritize our well-being.
The personal threshold
These scenarios are not uncommon and often lead people to seek therapy. Questions arise, such as: Why am I being treated this way? Why do I allow it? Why can’t I stand up for myself? or even What is wrong with me?
As I have written in a previous article, there is nothing wrong with you. From birth, we are programmed on how to behave. We may witness unhealthy patterns, perhaps a parent in an abusive relationship, and promise ourselves we would never accept such treatment. Yet we sometimes find ourselves in the same situation without understanding how we got there. The truth is, we were never taught how to fully love ourselves or set healthy boundaries.
As we grow and learn self-respect, we begin to set boundaries. We do not have to scream or shout to be heard or treated well. We can simply say, Enough is enough. I will not allow myself to be treated this way. The best way to handle these situations is calmly and assertively.
Ask yourself, What do I truly want for myself? Or consider this: If a friend came to me in the same situation, what advice would I give them? Often, we are great at giving advice but struggle to take it ourselves because we care more about others than we do about ourselves.
We must learn to love ourselves enough to say, I deserve better. And now, it’s enough.
Taking responsibility for change
When people walk away from a difficult situation, especially in relationships, they often blame others. They did this. They did that. But the reality is, we are responsible for our own actions. We have become so conditioned to blame others that we fail to take accountability. No one forced us into that relationship. No one made us ignore the warning signs or dismiss the advice of an ex. We chose to stay despite the red flags.
Taking responsibility is powerful because it allows us to reflect and grow. Instead of dwelling on blame, we can ask ourselves, What can I learn from this? How will I change my choices in the future? What new boundaries will I set, and how will I implement them?
The same applies to the workplace or any other scenario. If we find ourselves in an unhealthy situation, we have the ability to trust ourselves and set new boundaries. We can choose to walk away from what no longer serves us and allow ourselves to thrive in healthier environments.
How do we do this? By loving ourselves enough to know when enough is enough.
Read more from Donna Kirsten Reynolds
Donna Kirsten Reynolds, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist
Donna Reynolds discovered her passion for mental health and personal growth while living abroad and navigating her own challenges. After experiencing a sudden divorce that mirrored the struggles of many women around her, Donna sought to understand why such upheavals were so common. This quest led her to study mental health and behavior, ultimately guiding her to Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy. She believes that by changing our thoughts, we can overcome any barriers and create meaningful, lasting change in our lives.
