Written by: Dianne McKim, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What is it that drives us every day? When we look at our peers, teammates, or managers and leaders, why do we see some approaching their work and their life with “gusto” and others seem to just coast by without much enthusiasm? What causes someone to have a vision of what they want to achieve and others have no idea?
One could argue an abundance of reasons for these questions, and no doubt, many of those arguments may be accurate. I can think back in my own business career to the early years, and I can remember times when I just coasted by without much enthusiasm. I worked hard. I did all that was required of me, and then some. I grew in my abilities, knowledge, and understanding. But there was something missing that kept me from having great enthusiasm and a vision for what I wanted to achieve. Like many out there, I struggled with a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. I didn’t fully grasp my abilities, so that I really understood them and knew how to make them shine. I didn’t have the confidence to approach others with my ideas or to disagree when I thought there might be a better or even different way that would work better. It is so interesting to me how many people are working and living this way. If this is you, do not be discouraged. I am here to tell you… it doesn’t have to be that way. Hosts of famous people have struggled with their self-esteem and confidence. Julia Child, the famous Master French Chef, felt lost and had trouble finding her purpose in life until she was in her 40’s and 50’s. Oprah suffered horrible abuse as a child, but she persevered and worked her way up to be who she is today. Hilary Swank felt like she didn’t belong and was a troubled kid. She didn’t feel secure in herself, yet she has gone on to become a great actress, winning 2 best actress awards. These are just a few examples of famous people who had to overcome and find their way to greater confidence. There are key approaches to take to build your confidence and grow your self-esteem. First, it is important to remember that whenever you try to take on a new approach or create a new habit, you must be consistent. This means you must do it every day. You also need to persevere. There will be times when the “new habit” is forgotten, and you default to your old, comfortable approaches. There will be occasions when you realize the new habit needs a tweak here or there. Don’t give up. Keep going. You can do it. With consistency and perseverance in mind, you need to be realistic. Really understand in which areas you have lower confidence and self-esteem. Is the fear of failure driving it? Are you unsure of your strengths? It is important to determine these things, so you know what you need to work on and what adjustments you need to make. Change the negative self-talk, so you use the power of your words and your thoughts to propel you forward. Speak over yourself the things you are striving for as if they are. For instance, perhaps you are afraid to speak up in meetings because you think no one cares to hear what you have to say. Instead of letting that message play in your head, again and again, you can change it to this message “I have input that is valuable to the team, and it is important to share it, so we all benefit together.” Another simple thing to keep in mind is your body language. You can use your body to help you appear more confident to others. Stand tall, relax your facial expression, hold your head.
Up, shoulders back, breathe easy, don’t fidget, make direct eye contact (not staring), have a firm handshake, and even watching the tone of your voice all portray a confident person. You will sound more pleasant and confident when you are smiling.
There is so much more than you can do, but if you start putting these things into practice, you will begin to develop the confidence that will help you take your career to new and greater levels.
Dianne McKim, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dianne McKim is a leader in personal, professional, and spiritual coaching. She has the depth of experience, training, and certifications to provide her clients the transformation they need to excel. Whether your team needs to maximize productivity and cohesiveness, your underperforming employee needs help to improve, you need help in life to overcome obstacles, or you desire to move forward from whatever is holding you back, Dianne is the coach who can make it happen. Her clients say it best "If you are looking for someone who will help you grow as an individual, work better with a team, or simply get “unstuck” and discover your purpose for being, Dianne will certainly challenge you and work with the unique individual/organization you are."
