Juggling Life and Leadership Takes More Than Balance
- Brainz Magazine
- 2 days ago
- 7 min read
Dr. Donya Ball is transformative superintendent, renowned for her leadership expertise, keynote speaking, and executive coaching. Author of Adjusting the Sails (2022) and Against the Wind (2023), she captivates audiences and readers globally for her thought leadership, including her TedXTalk, "We are facing a leadership crisis. Here's the cure."
This article, adapted from a chapter in Adjusting the Sails: Weathering the Storms of Administrative Leadership, explores a leadership truth too often ignored: It’s not just about balance; it’s about survival in a never-ending circus. The demands of professional leadership combined with personal responsibilities create a relentless, high-wire act where the risk of burnout is real and ever-present.
The myth of balance in leadership
Leading while raising a family is not a simple balancing act. It is an acrobatic performance. Leadership demands stretch far beyond neatly dividing time between home and work. It often feels like managing a high-stakes performance where the spotlight never dims and the expectations never lower. Leaders are pulled in multiple directions at once, making decisions, solving problems, supporting others, and planning for the future, all while maintaining a presence in their personal lives. The constant pressure to be present, productive, and poised in every setting is overwhelming and often overlooked.
When something slips through the cracks a missed meeting, a forgotten commitment, or an emotional moment it is easy to label it as failure. But that is not failure. It is a reminder of what it means to be human. Every leader experiences moments when something has to give. The strength of a leader lies not in doing everything perfectly but in knowing when to pause, when to ask for help, and how to recover without self-blame. Leadership is not about perfection. It is about endurance, perspective, and the grace to keep going even when the rhythm is off.
The real cost of doing it all
Leaders often strive for excellence across all areas: work, home, relationships, and personal goals. However, this relentless pursuit can lead to significant psychological strain. A 2022 study published in Frontiers in Psychology highlights the risks associated with this "total performance mindset," stating, “The blurring of work and personal life domains intensifies role conflict and contributes to emotional exhaustion, particularly among leaders in high-demand environments” (Wittmers and Maier). The research emphasizes that without the psychological safety to occasionally step back or reprioritize, leaders are more susceptible to burnout and decreased mental health.
Grace over guilt
Leadership comes with inevitable moments of imperfection. There will be times when a deadline is missed, a family commitment is overlooked, or a decision doesn't land as intended. Rather than spiraling into self-blame, strong leaders choose grace. Grace allows for the acceptance of flaws without sacrificing accountability. It invites leaders to learn from their mistakes while remembering their worth isn't tied to perfection.
Guilt, when left unchecked, can become a corrosive force that erodes confidence and clarity. But grace provides space for reflection, recalibration, and forward momentum. Leading with grace means extending to yourself the same compassion and understanding you would offer to a colleague or loved one. In the long run, it is grace, not guilt, that sustains resilient, impactful leadership.
Research supports this approach. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that leaders who practice self-compassion are better equipped to handle challenges and maintain their leadership identity. The study notes, “Engaging in leader role self-compassion may help people in positions of leadership to better fulfill their work responsibilities” (Lanaj et al. 1543).
Practical steps to reclaim your energy and sanity
The pressure to excel in every area of life can feel never-ending, but leaders are not without options. The key is not to do less across the board but to become more intentional about what truly matters and what can be adjusted, delegated, or postponed. Here are four actionable strategies to help leaders protect their mental health and lead with clarity and sustainability.
1. Audit your commitments
Begin by examining how you allocate your time each week. Create two lists: one for tasks and obligations that align with your core values and energize you and another for activities that drain your energy or offer little strategic value. The objective is to minimize the latter by delegating, eliminating, or postponing these tasks. Regularly revisiting this audit helps maintain alignment with your evolving priorities.
As productivity expert Laura Vanderkam explains, “If you don't know where the time is going, how can you know if you're changing the right things?” (Vanderkam 2022). A time audit offers leaders the clarity needed to make thoughtful decisions about where to focus energy and how to preserve it.
2. Set non-negotiable recovery time
Recovery is not a luxury; it is a leadership necessity. Blocking time on your calendar each week for intentional rest, such as reading, solitude, or connecting with loved ones, is essential. Treat this time with the same level of importance as a high-stakes meeting. When leaders prioritize restoration, decision-making, creativity, and empathy all improve.
As van Dam and van der Helm note, “Sleep deprivation undermines important forms of leadership behavior and eventually hurts financial performance” (2016). Ensuring adequate rest is not just beneficial for personal well-being but is also critical for solid leadership.
3. Normalize boundary conversations
Whether leading a school district, a company, or a household, integrating discussions about boundaries into regular leadership practices is essential. Clearly communicating your capacity and modeling how to say no with professionalism and respect fosters an environment where others feel safe to express their own limits. As leadership coach Anne Koopmann notes, “The clearer you are about your boundaries, the easier it is going to be for others to work with you, because they will start to understand what you can and can’t do” (Koopmann 2022). Establishing and respecting boundaries not only enhances personal well-being but also cultivates a culture of mutual respect and understanding.
4. Build a flight crew
Leadership is not a solo mission. In Against the Wind: Leadership at 36,000 Feet, Dr. Ball emphasizes the critical need for a reliable support system, what she calls a “flight crew.” These are the individuals you trust to keep you steady when turbulence hits: mentors, coaches, friends, or colleagues who offer guidance, challenge your thinking, and remind you that you're not navigating the storm alone.
As Ball explains, “Every strong leader needs a flight crew people who see your blind spots, remind you of your altitude, and make sure you don’t run out of fuel mid-flight.” Choosing to lean on others is not a sign of weakness; it is a strategic decision that can preserve your clarity, resilience, and purpose when the weight of leadership becomes too much to carry alone.
Juggling life and leadership in action
Consider a healthcare executive managing the demands of a hospital system while caring for an aging parent. By implementing structured morning briefings and designating uninterrupted family hours in the evening, she created a sustainable rhythm that allowed her to lead effectively without sacrificing personal responsibilities. Her team reported higher clarity and reduced stress while she maintained a sense of connection at home.
In the financial sector, a regional banking director navigated a high-stakes audit season while preparing for the birth of his second child. Rather than pretending he could manage everything alone, he proactively cross-trained his team, communicated his boundaries, and took intermittent parental leave. His transparency fostered loyalty, and his willingness to step back temporarily gave his team a chance to rise and lead.
In a large urban school district, an assistant superintendent overseeing curriculum rollout for three campuses also managed the emotional labor of single parenting. She blocked out early morning planning time for her school duties and preserved evenings for her children. By modeling clear boundary-setting, she helped shift the school culture toward a healthier work-life balance, inspiring both staff and students to value intentionality over overload.
A nonprofit program director leading a community outreach campaign found herself juggling grant deadlines, stakeholder meetings, and the emotional fatigue of frontline advocacy work. She built a small “flight crew” of trusted advisors, including a therapist and a peer mentor, and made reflection a weekly non-negotiable. Her team adopted similar wellness practices, resulting in stronger collaboration and a healthier, more sustainable work environment.
The courage to keep juggling
Juggling the demands of life and leadership will never be easy, but it is possible to do it with strength, clarity, and grace. The goal is not to keep every ball in the air at all times. It is to know which ones are made of rubber and will bounce back and which ones are made of glass and require your full attention. When leaders stop chasing perfection and instead lead with intention, they create space for sustainable success, both personally and professionally.
The strongest leaders are not the ones who carry the heaviest load without flinching but those who build systems of support, embrace boundaries, and extend themselves grace when the rhythm gets offbeat. The circus may continue, but with the right mindset and tools, leaders can navigate it with resilience. Because in the end, what matters most is not how many things you juggle but how well you care for yourself and those who are watching from the front row.
Dr. Donya Ball, Leadership Expert, Motivational Speaker & Author
Dr. Donya Ball is a renowned keynote speaker, transformative superintendent, and passionate author. With over two decades of experience, she also serves as a professor and executive coach, mentoring and guiding aspiring and seasoned leaders. She has authored two impactful books, Adjusting the Sails (2022) and Against the Wind (2023), which address real-world leadership challenges. Her expertise has garnered national attention from media outlets like USA Today and MSN. Dr. Ball’s TEDxTalk, "We are facing a leadership crisis. Here’s the cure," further highlights her thought leadership.
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