Hi, my name is Raymond Forbes. I’m a 47-year-old father of three beautiful children and have been with my partner, Caroline Cassidy, for over 24 years. Primarily, I am a compulsive gambler and I am currently in my sixth year of recovery. Until seven months ago, I also struggled with alcohol and drug abuse throughout my life. I realized I was going nowhere, and while I knew I needed to break free, I found it incredibly difficult. After observing others in the personal development and mindset space living their best lives, I finally found the strength to reach out for help. This decision has led to the best recovery of my life, and I am proud to say that I am becoming the best version of myself.
Raymond Forbes, Personal & Mindset Development
What was the turning point that finally led you to break free from addiction for good?
The turning point in my life came on a Monday morning when I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror after another week of abusing cocaine. I realized I was on the road to another train wreck in my life; I had been here before. I had previously arrested my gambling for nine years and built up a bar business with a turnover of 1.4 million, only to lose it all. Although I managed to hold on to one business and started to rebuild my life, I had only stopped gambling. At that moment, I recognized that I was full of ego, resentment, and arrogance, and I was not in a healthy mental state. It became clear to me that I needed to address all aspects of my addiction to truly recover.
For a compulsive gambler who has been in the fellowship since 1UU8, I understand the cycle of getting time away from gambling only to relapse repeatedly. I knew I needed more than what I was getting from the fellowship alone. With acceptance of my situation and by reaching out to someone in the personal development and mindset industry, I discovered a new path to recovery. I can confidently say that if you combine personal development and mindset work with the support of your fellowship, you can truly live a life beyond your wildest.
Can you describe your spiritual awakening and how it has influenced your life today?
My spiritual awakening came knocking when I reached my lowest point, and this time, I was ready to accept it with open arms. I realized that I needed to listen and take action. Embracing this awakening has been transformative; I proudly talk about it every day because I know it’s what allows me to survive. I thank God each and every day, not asking for anything in return but rather focusing on what I can do for Him. My daily practice includes saying the serenity prayer several times, which helps me stay grounded and centered. Embracing this spiritual journey has brought me an abundance of blessings that are truly priceless. It has influenced every aspect of my life, deepening my sense of purpose and connection with others. I’ve learned that by nurturing my spirituality, I can maintain my recovery and live a fulfilling life.
How do you maintain your gambling-free lifestyle after nearly six years of recovery?
To maintain my gambling-free and clean living lifestyle, I start each morning by handing it over to my higher power. This daily ritual sets a positive tone for the day. I surround myself with like-minded people who support my journey, which is crucial for my continued growth. I focus on both my mental and personal development every day. Running 3 to 4 five-kilometer runs weekly keeps me physically active and mentally clear. I also prioritize reading and eating healthily, which contributes to my overall well-being. Additionally, I share my journey and studies on social media to motivate and inspire others, especially those struggling with compulsive gambling. In my opinion, gambling is one of the deadliest addictions, and having experienced various forms of addiction myself, I know firsthand how secretive it can be. The signs are often hard to notice because compulsive gamblers will do everything in their power to hide their behavior. By sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness and encourage others to seek help.
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What is your biggest lesson from your journey, and how do you use it to help others struggling with addiction?
My greatest achievement so far in this journey has been the ability to look in the mirror, what I call the "accountability mirror," and truly see what is looking back at me. For a man who faced trying times and was often uncomfortable in his own skin, reaching a point where I can now love myself is monumental. This transformation has brought me invaluable rewards: my anxiety is gone, and I no longer feel stressed all the time. I’ve learned that by continuing to work on myself, everyone around me benefits from the new version of me, especially my partner and our three beautiful children. Addiction no longer controls me; I am in control now. This realization fuels my desire to help others who are struggling. I share my story and the lessons I've learned, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and personal growth. By promoting accountability and encouraging others to take ownership of their journeys, I hope to inspire them to find the same freedom I have seen.
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