Written by: Michael Taylor, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As we approach Father’s Day, it’s time to focus our attention and acknowledge all the men who are being great husbands and fathers, the men who are mentors and teachers, the men who are great leaders, the men who are committed and loyal lovers, the men who are protecting our environment, the men who are great spiritual teachers, and the men who are committed to empowering other men to reach their full potential and live extraordinary lives.
Our media is filled with stories of men behaving badly so It’s important to acknowledge the fact that the overwhelming majority of men are actually very good men. As I acknowledge the good men in society, I do not want to deny there are some men who obviously need to be held accountable for their actions. It’s up to the good men in society to reach out to support those men who may have lost their way in the world and have resorted to doing “bad” things.
As an author and life coach who has committed his life to empowering men, I’d like to share some ideas I’ve written about that have helped countless men around the globe come to a new understanding of what it means to be a man in todays fast-paced everchanging world.
First and foremost, it’s important to understand that our media thrives off of sensationalism and negativity. We’ve all heard the adage “if it bleeds, it leads”, and when it comes to showcasing men, this media mantra is the reason the media focuses so much of their attention on everything that is wrong with men. Currently, the primary media focus is on gun violence, and without question, gun violence is an important issue that must be addressed, but doesn’t it make more sense to focus on the solutions to gun violence instead of twenty-four-hour coverage of the shooting event? I believe the answer is yes, so I’d like to share some fuel for contemplation in regards to solving the gun violence issue.
I would like to bring attention to the big elephant in the room regarding gun violence which the media has not adequately discussed. The common denominator in all tragic gun violence events is that 99% of all perpetrators of gun violence are males. Therefore, the question we should be asking ourselves as a nation is, why is it that men are so prone to violence?
In my book, A New Conversation With Men, I identified what I call the Five Illusions of Manhood which I believe causes the overwhelming majority of pain and suffering in a man’s life. The first illusion of manhood is, to be a man, you must be non-emotional and disconnected. It is this illusion that is at the core of all violence. We live in a culture that conditions men to believe they aren’t supposed to feel. We are taught that feelings are for women and therefore we suppress, repress and deny our feelings in an attempt to not appear weak. It is the suppression of feelings that lays the foundation for all violence.
In order to wake men up from this illusion and remove senseless acts of violence from our society, we are going to have to create a new paradigm of masculinity in which men embrace new ways of being and relating as men. I define a paradigm as, “a rigid way of believing, thinking and behaving”, and therefore we must support men in changing their beliefs about masculinity and what it means to be a “real” man. When we get men to change their beliefs about manhood and masculinity, it will then change their thinking about masculinity which ultimately will change their actions as a man.
This is no easy task because the current ways of believing, thinking, and behaving as men have been around for thousands of years. But it is my belief that the current paradigm of masculinity is no longer sustainable and it is inevitable that it has to change.
The primary reason it has to change is because of the advancements women have made in society. Currently here in America, for the first time, women now outnumber men in the workforce and there are more women graduating from college than men. Therefore, the roles of masculinity are changing dramatically and men must be willing to embrace these new and exciting roles.
In the old paradigm, men were conditioned to believe they had three primary responsibilities. I call them the 3 P’s. Procreate, Provide, and Protect. So collectively, men went to work and brought home the bacon while women stayed home to take care of the family. Now that women have changed their roles by becoming financially independent and no longer having to rely on men, it’s incumbent upon men to embrace new roles and become comfortable with the idea that women can be the primary breadwinner of the family and it does not mean you are less of a man.
In the new paradigm, men reject the old one and become willing to acknowledge the importance of being in touch with his inner world of emotions and he learns to express them openly and authentically. He understands the importance of creating intimacy and authentic emotional connections in all of his relationships and he is rewarded with fulfilling relationships that nurture his heart and soul.
In the new paradigm, men will no longer work at jobs that they hate. They will seek out vocations and careers that give them an opportunity to express their unique gifts and talents and their work will be enjoyable and meaningful.
In the new paradigm, men will make relationships a high priority in their lives and they will seek out spiritual partnerships in which two people become equal partners. They will let go of old antiquated roles of men being the head of the household and accept that he isn’t above his mate, they are equal partners in everything they do, including housework and raising children.
In the new paradigm, men will take care of their physical bodies and not overindulge in overeating, drugs or alcohol. He will see his body as his temple and he will make sure he takes excellent care of it.
In the new paradigm, men will make spirituality a part of his life without having to follow any religious dogma or doctrine. He finds his own truth and makes an intimate connection to a power greater than himself that nurtures his spirit.
And in the new paradigm, men will be willing to give back to his community in some way. He will recognize the importance of being in service to humanity and he commits himself to making a positive difference in the world in his own way.
When men embrace this new paradigm of masculinity, we will begin to see the eradication of all challenges facing our world and, in the end, we can create peace on earth as it is intended.
It’s time to create a new paradigm of masculinity!
Michael Taylor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Coach Michael Taylor is an irrepressible optimist with a passion for the impossible. He is president and CEO of Creation Publishing Group and is the author of 10 books designed to empower men and women to live extraordinary lives. He is the host of 3 podcasts, (A New Conversation With Men, Don't Believe The Hype, and Shatter The Stereotypes) and host 3 television channels on the Roku network.
He was featured in the bestselling book Motivational Speakers America with legendary speakers Les Brown and Brian Tracy. He has won numerous awards for his dynamic speaking style and says being on stage speaking, lights him up and ignites his soul.
When he isn't speaking or writing books, you'll find him hanging out with the love of his life Bedra, who he has been blissfully married for 19 years. His hobbies include going to the movies, listening to old school 70's and 80's soul music, and reading Calvin & Hobbs comics.
