Written by: Jane Christine, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You have a desire and need to help others, it’s in your nature. But if you feel responsible for everyone and everything this can have a negative effect on your central nervous system. This can cause stress, burnout, anxiety, guilt, low self-esteem, and this stress on your body sends a message of fear to your brain.
“You’re too busy taking care of everyone else and in the process neglecting your own needs and wants.”
It makes sense why you’re overbooked in your schedule, you’re too busy taking care of everyone else and in the process neglecting your own needs and wants. And it also makes sense why you constantly feel overwhelmed, any slight deviation from “the plan” you blame yourself and feel guilty. Ever thought you could have prevented a problem from occurring if you could have planned better?
You have an overactive sense of responsibility. This means that you feel overly responsible for everything around you, even beyond your control, including taking on the responsibility for others, perhaps even obsessing about it. Of course, you find logical justification for why it’s your responsibility, but the truth of the matter is you’re actually doing more harm than good. You know when you are at your best, you can better assist those in need. But you’ve developed this pattern of putting your needs last and that’s affecting your nervous system.
Let’s Find Out
Let’s do a little test to find out if you have an overactive sense of responsibility:
You feel overwhelmed and burnout regularly
You can easily get annoyed by the irresponsibility of others
You resent others whom you feel are taking advantage of your generosity
You feel like you need to schedule everyone’s calendar
You constantly remind yourself of what you need to do
You feel compelled to remind others of their responsibility
You feel responsible when things don’t go to plan
If you resonated with 5 or more of these statements, then you have an overactive sense of responsibility. There are many reasons why this could have developed; as a child, there may have been a family member who was being under-responsible and you picked up the slack to keep harmony in the house, perhaps when you are in control it gives you a sense of security, it makes you feel safe knowing all the details, you like to please others to the point you accept their responsibility.
“Remember it’s been years you’ve used this strategy and it will take some time to release yourself of everyone else’s responsibility.”
The good news! You can identify what is truly your own responsibility and how to start handling back responsibility to the rightful owner. You’ll be able to reframe your current perspective and take a step back and choose 1 part at a time to focus on. Remember it’s been years you’ve used this strategy and it will take some time to release yourself of everyone else’s responsibility but have grace and compassion towards yourself during this moment of change and growth.
Here’s how to set responsibility boundaries.
Step 1: Draw a plate (circle) on a blank piece of paper – this represents everything you have on your plate right now
Step 2: Write all the things you are responsible for right now at the bottom of the page
Step 3: Now allocate a percentage of your plate to each item – think about of how much each thing takes up to create a pie chart
Step 4: What is the amount leftover for you? The percentage remaining is what you’ve allocated for yourself. Ask yourself this question “Where do you fit into this equation?”. That little piece left – if there is any – is where you seem to fit into your own life
Step 5: Let me ask you a question, if you showed your younger self this plate diagram what would she say?
Step 6: Start by giving back the responsibility to those who it belongs – write down the true owner of each item
Step 7: Teach them the tools and complete an official handover so you may remove this responsibility from your plate
You can calm down your central nervous system by releasing the responsibility you’ve acquired from others. This will reduce your stress, anxiety, overwhelm, guilt and it will increase your self-esteem and confidence. If you’re finding it difficult to release your overactive sense of responsibility, I would recommend working with a qualified mindset coach to get to the root cause of this belief that’s holding you back.
Jane Christine, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jane Christine is a certified Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, and author. Originally from Australia working in the corporate world until she questioned her life's purpose. Jane believed there had to be more to life, so she sold everything she owned and set off for a nomadic lifestyle traveling around the world searching for answers and a place to call home, which she finally found in Spain. Her search and transformation took her to over 37 countries. Life experiences and her own personal growth guided her to become a certified Life Coach. Her travels inspired her quest to learn about the world around us and why we do what we do. Since 2012, Jane Christine has been studying how our pasts shape us, the effects of societal standards, and the impact of values. With Neuro-Linguistics Programming techniques and through the power of transformation, learn how to; bridge the gap, define self-worth, set tangible goals, find comfort through change, and how 1% micro-changes can alter lives. Jane Christine is the author of "How You Know Already: Questions to ask yourself to find the answers within," as she believes we are all unique, and so are each of our paths to follow. She is dedicated to her clients and supporting their growth and journey. Her motto: Design your life, don't just live it!
.jpg)
