Laura Jackson RN, BScN, MN is an award-winning healthcare leader and holistic wellness facilitator. She is the Founder of Paradigm Joy Inc, a holistic mental health and wellness service that helps people to relieve stress, recover from trauma, transform limiting beliefs and cultivate self-compassion.
Compassion is often associated with softness, being gentle, passive, nurturing, and endlessly patient. However, compassion and self-compassion can also be fierce, radical, forceful, and bold.
The myth of compassion
One of the greatest misconceptions about compassion is that it is exclusively soft, gentle, passive, nurturing and endlessly patient. This misconception has created a stereotype about compassion, that expressions of it are weak and not gender neutral. This fallacy is compounded by gender stereotypes, resulting in the rejection of it as a part of the male ethos.
The compassionate instinct can be felt and cultivated by everyone. It is universal and has many expressions. Expressions of compassion can be soft, gentle, nurturing, patient, and fierce at the same time.
Fierce compassion can confront, set clear boundaries, call out harmful behavior, and act to stop it. Ferocity, in this context, does not denote violence or aggression. The motivation is not rage; instead, it is rooted in actions that do not harm and are protective, brave, strong, empowering, and proactive.
Related: The Radical Compassion Challenge
Cultivating compassion
Compassion begins with an awareness of another’s suffering, followed by a desire to alleviate and prevent the other person’s suffering. Compassion can be described as empathy in motion, it is the feeling that you get when you witness another person's suffering.
Compassion goes beyond sensing, feeling, and understanding, it ignites our desire to help and taps into our felt sense of connection to others. Compassion is broadly defined in the literature and depending on the context, it is described as a feeling, as an affective state or as a part of our motivational system. Compassionate action has been found to activate the autonomic nervous system and instead of fleeing in the face of suffering, we slow down to notice and respond by helping the person who is suffering. Although altruism is not a requirement for compassion, when we act altruistically, our brains are activated in the areas that are linked to positive emotions, pleasure and reward.
The fierce sword of compassion
The cultivation of compassion is central to many spiritual and religious traditions and has been a pillar of contemplative practices for thousands of years.
In Buddhism compassion manifested as protective, strong, empowering, with boundaries, and the ability to say no to an injustice, is called the fierce sword of compassion. According to Jack Kornfield, “There is a yes in compassion, and there is also a no, said with the same courage of the heart. No to abuse, no to racism, no to violence, both personal and worldwide. The no is said not out of hate, but out of an unwavering care.”
Expressions of fierce compassion may appear assertive, passionate, radical, bold and defensive on the outside, however, the motivation is compassion, care, love and understanding. Fierce compassion confronts, sets clear boundaries, calls out harmful behavior and acts to stop it.
Fierce compassion is depicted in the stories and in the images of Buddhist Bodhisattvas, such as Avalokiteśvara, the Bodhisattva of compassion, or in Hayagriva who is thought to be a wrathful manifestation of Avalokiteśvara in Chinese, Japanese and Tibetan Buddhism. The Lotus Sutra describes Avalokiteśvara as a protector, a remover of obstacles and a reliever of suffering. Avalokiteśvara is the embodiment of infinite compassion, including fierce compassion. Referred to by some as a compassionate warrior, Avalokiteśvaras’ image is often depicted holding a sword, or bow and arrow.
Fierce icons of our era
Fierce compassion manifests as a conviction to advocate, fight for injustice, care, protect and support oneself or others.
The lives and legacies of civil rights heroes such as Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr, are just two examples of fierce compassion in action. Both fought tirelessly for others, advocating to stop injustice, doing so steadfastly and doing no harm.
They were able to manifest their vision of a free society, and their legacies still have the power to empower and motivate today.
Mahatma Gandhi transformed political action and protest with non-violent resistance and his life was devoted to advocating for the rights of others. He fought against segregation and for equal rights, which contributed to the end of British colonial rule over India. He played a pivotal role in India gaining independence in 1947.
Martin Luther King, Jr, a minister, activist and civil rights hero fought against racial segregation and for the rights of African Americans in the United States during the 1950s and 1960s. Influenced by Gandhi, he used non-violent resistance and civil disobedience to fight for justice. King and his allies are credited with playing a crucial role in establishing the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. His visionary leadership and fierce compassion forced America to recognize the humanity of African Americans and contributed to the end of racial segregation.
Everyday heroes such as firefighters and police embody fierce compassion. When someone needs help or is in danger, first responders jump into action, often putting their lives on the line, to protect at all costs and to alleviate the suffering of others.
The instinct of a parent to protect their child from imminent harm and provide for them regardless of the circumstance, is also the embodiment of fierce compassion.
We are all capable of expressing fierce compassion, in our own way, however big or small and you do not have to be a Bodhisattva or Buddhist to do so. You also do not have to be a civil rights hero, first responder or parent. It may require you to step out of your comfort zone, put your ego aside and muster up the courage to care. It may take practice to cultivate this commitment to others, however, the benefits to you and the receiver of your compassion will be boundless.
Is your self-compassion fierce?
Fierce compassion is a prototype for cultivating self-compassion that is fierce. Self-compassion is the process of treating yourself with compassion. It is a decision to support yourself during times of difficulty and involves treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is having a hard time. Self-compassion has been correlated with improved happiness, life satisfaction, the ability to cope with stress and it has been shown to foster resilience and post-traumatic growth.
Studies have shown that it helps to reduce caregiver burden, increase compassion satisfaction, and decrease burnout in healthcare workers. According to self-compassion researcher Kristen Neff, “when we need to protect ourselves from potential harm, the elements of compassion have a different expression.” When fierce self-compassion is expressed it may manifest as protective, providing and motivating.
If you are not sure where to start, ask yourself the following questions:
Do I offer myself compassion with the same passion and fierceness as I do for others?
Do I set clear boundaries when I need to?
Do I give myself what I need to be authentically happy and experience joy?
Am I able to recognize what no longer serves me and, take the necessary actions to change?
If you answered no to any of these questions, ask yourself why?
The journey to self-compassion
Starting on a journey towards health and wellness can be daunting. It takes time, patience and perseverance to achieve a goal and make sustainable lifestyle changes.
If you are ready to embark on a self-compassion practice, or if you are struggling with your mental health, consider working with a licensed mental health professional or a certified coach who can provide you with personalized guidance and support tailored to your specific health challenges and wellness goals.
Read more from Laura Jackson
Laura Jackson, Healthcare Leader & Holistic Wellness Facilitator
Laura Jackson RN, BScN, MN, is certified in psychiatric and mental health nursing with the Canadian Nurses Association and is a Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach with the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching. She is the Founder of Paradigm Joy, a holistic mental health and wellness service where she provides counselling, coaching, education, and retreats. Her approach to wellness is holistic and integrative. With an emphasis on somatic (body-based) interventions, she uses her skills in nervous system co-regulation, therapeutic yoga, meditation, and self-compassion to create an environment of safety and to support people to relieve stress, recover from trauma, transform limiting beliefs, and reach their full potential.
