Written by: Lucie Matsouaka, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How sad is it that our modern education places more emphasis on aptitude instead of attitude? We test people (from the young ages and throughout their adulthood) on their IQ (Intelligence Quotient) instead of their AQ (Adaptability Quotient), which I like to call the “Attitude Quotient”. As a parent, I hope my kids have both excellent minds and excellent attitudes. Though I want to see them be successful in school and have the best grades they possibly can, if I had to choose which one I prefer, without hesitation, I would want their AQ to be higher.
One day, after teaching self-discipline and leadership to a group of young adults, a 15-year-old young lady came up to me and asked “Ms. Lucie, I heard everything you said about making an impact as a better leader. If you had to tell me the one skill that I will need above all, what would it be?”
I paused for a second. She looked me straight in the eyes and then said, “It’s difficult to choose, right?” “Yes and no” I responded. The truth is her question threw me off. I didn’t expect it, especially not from a 15-year-old. In few seconds, I remembered a story my friend told me and said “ATTITUDE! If you work on your attitude, many things will fall into place.” She thanked me with a big hug and walked away with her friends.
Many wonder why as a Professional Career Coach, I talk about youth leadership so much, instead of just sticking to what most career coaches do: prepare people to land the right job (or the best job then can). So, let me ask you a simple question: after helping them get into those doors, then what? In fact, I know these young people will not fulfill the careers of their dreams (no matter what the word career means to them) if they suck at self-leadership. There is no way around it. They’ll end up missing their chances to advance and build the right relationships, or even get fired because they won’t have what is (in my opinion) the most important skill in life: people skills. It’s just a matter of time. Therefore, my job is to prevent that type of chaos from happening in their lives (professional or not).
Now, let me bring you to the story I remembered about my friend.
Let’s call her Eva, to protect her identity.
Eva walked away from her professional career a few years ago to take care of her small kids and be fully present in their lives. Ten years later, when she decided that she was ready to go back to the workforce, she applied for a job and was hired right away. Unfortunately, after 10 years away from the workforce, she had to re-adapt to and relearn almost everything. Nevertheless, Eva is courteous, respectful, patient, kind, and understandable. She understands that it will take her some time before she masters her craft and becomes excellent at what she does at this job.
One of the ladies who was assigned to train her (let’s call her Britney), was not only disrespectful, but also rude and impatient---despite the fact that Eva tried her best to learn as fast as she could.
One day Eva asked Britney to re-explain a procedure because she didn’t hear her correctly and didn’t what want to mess up. Britney rolled her eyes and shook her head in disgust. She hated having to repeat herself. She didn’t understand that all Eva needed was to do it a few times so that she could master it.
Eva said, “I wish I knew everything about this company before applying, but I’m still learning. I’m sorry to be such a huge burden on you. The desire of my heart is to learn quickly so I won’t need you anymore.” Britney walked away, leaving Eva the newly hired coworker hanging there, as if she (Britney) didn’t hear anything she said.
I want you to think about both women’s attitudes.
Britney had been on the job for long enough to forget that the only reason why she finds the job easy is that she has now lots of experience with it. Her brain has become used to the procedures, along with the rules and regulations of the workplace. Unfortunately, she lacks self-control, patience, respect (both for herself and others), and is reducing her chances of growing into the company. Britney clearly lacks people skills and is arrogant. Eva, on the other hand, has the people skills she needs and is professional.
It’s impossible to estimate the number of jobs lost, the number of opportunities or promotions missed, and the number of sales not made because of a poor attitude. Take a company, for instance; usually, the person who rises within an organization has a good attitude. It doesn’t mean that the promotions gave that person an outstanding attitude. It means that the outstanding attitude they had during the course of their career resulted in the promotion.
Research conducted by Harvard University, the Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Center has all concluded “The money you make in any endeavor is determined by 15% of knowledge, and 85% by your ability to deal with people.”[1]
Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States said, “The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”
John D. Rockefeller once said, “The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.”
How often do you walk into a supermarket and feel frustrated because the customer service person was rude to you? Vice-versa, how often do you see customers screaming, yelling and disrespecting people in banks or stores, just because they believe “I’m spending my hard earned money here, so I have the right to do what I want”? What everyone seems to forget is that behind every person you meet, there are people who love them and would be heartbroken to see the way we treat their loved ones.
I strongly believe that our environment is a large factor in our attitude development. Our early childhood develops our belief system. Children pick up priorities, interests, and philosophy from the environment where they are raised in. What someone believes affects their attitude, but what if their belief system is unhealthy? Think about it!
This leads me to say that one of the best ways to help people land and keep their dream jobs tomorrow is by creating a good environment for them. An environment where they’ll not only learn the skills to actually do their jobs well, but also how to interact with others on a daily basis. I’m not talking about putting up a nice face for the circumstance. I am talking about making sure that good habits become second nature. Once it’s second nature, you don’t need to pretend to be who you’re not, and by default, you’ll treat others well (not only in your house, but also in the workplace). May I remind you that familiarity breeds contempt? So, once you’re becoming great at cultivating a great attitude in the presence of those you’re familiar with, the need to put on a face in the presence of the unfamiliar will no longer be necessary.
As a leader myself, I’d much rather work with someone who knows little, but has an awesome attitude, than with someone who is incredible with their skills and gets the job done, but has an attitude that sucks. I don’t want to be in their presence.
We can control our feelings by learning to change one thing: the way that we think. Our feelings come from our thoughts, so we can change our thought pattern before we focus on our circumstances.
Experts say that what you read and whom you are associated with may determine what you will become in 5 years. Since that’s the case, whether you choose to have a job or build a business, working on your attitude will set you up for success faster than skills.
A poor attitude will not only cost you money, but also friends, family members, and beautiful experiences.
Last but not least, while you’re reading this article, you may have a few responses:
1. Well, this doesn’t apply to me, because I’m working for myself.
Truth is if you work for yourself, you’re even in a more dangerous position, because you alone represent your company. If you have the wrong attitude, you’ll lose it all, as you have no one else to back you up.
2. I work for a huge company and I’m just a number. It’s not my business and I don’t really care about those details.
Once again, this is huge mistake! It might not be your company, but, remember, you’re dealing with people. You never know who you’ll meet who can completely change the trajectory of your life just by giving you an advice, or by connecting you with the right people at the right time. Don’t be the person who, when the name is mentioned, people feel relieved to no longer have you in their lives.
3. All this sounds great, but who still does that? Who has time for this? How many people could really apply all these rules? Lucie, come on, be realistic!
Well, this is exactly the type of negative mindset that creates issues in the first place. Do your part! It always starts with one person. No matter how difficult it seems, do your part. There is no doubt that you will encounter some resistance, but start where you are. Believe me, a good attitude is as contagious as a bad one. I don’t only believe that we can change things in society, I KNOW we can, and we will, because most people want the same thing. Deep down in our hearts, we all feel the need for respect, consideration, appreciation, and success.
Having a positive attitude doesn’t only mean that you’re kind to people. It also means that you trained yourself to see the best in every situation in life, which by default affect your productivity at work. (That’s another topic for another time.)
Because our attitude dictates our approach to life, I want to invite you to not only pay more attention to your attitude from this point forward, but most importantly make sure that it becomes a part of your life. The younger generation around you is watching. They watch the way you solve problems and they watch the way you interact with others, and they’re taking their clues from what they see.
We have a heavy responsibility entrusted to all of us.
To connect with me, visit my website or follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you speak French, feel free to join our French-speaking community, L'Emergence De L'Entrepreneur, for more tips for emerging entrepreneurs.
Lucie S. Matsouaka, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lucie S. Matsouaka is a Certified Professional Career Coach who believes that it’s not enough to help people look good on paper before a job interview. As an International Youth Leadership Coach, she gives them the tools they need to separate themselves from the masses and have a successful career, no matter what that means to them. She founded L’Emergence De L’Entrepreneur, a French-speaking empowerment platform where she teaches emerging entrepreneurs how to navigate entrepreneurship storms to stand out and be successful.
