Written by: Jacqueline Rhule, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
After all, it doesn’t stop terrible stuff from happening in your life, and the world does it.
Better to be “realistic” and not expect too much, so you don’t get disappointed, right?
You know, be prepared for the worst – so you can see those bad things coming a mile off?
Well, many years ago, I used to feel just like that.
Frightened to let myself be fully happy. Thinking that if I let my guard down, then those “bad” things would come tumbling down on me, like an avalanche – sneakily waiting for me to relax and actually start to enjoy myself and life.
I’d somehow settled into my own level of how happy I’d allow myself to get before I’d let in the feeling of dread that would start to consume me. A warning that something was, surely, bound to go wrong next, wasn’t it?
“Don’t get too comfy, Jacks,” I’d tell myself. “You know it can’t last because look what happened last time – you didn’t see that disaster coming, did you?”
And the biggest thing I’d believed was, when “this” and “that” happens, then I’d be happy. So I figured that, in the meantime, I was fully entitled to be as miserable as sin – until then!
You could keep your “Pollyanna” attitude and your “positive thinking” rubbish. How could I possibly be expected to be happy when I didn’t have what I wanted… like, duh?! Just way too much to ask of a mere human being like me – or so I thought.
Kind of like holding your own happiness levels and peace of mind to ransom. Give me this thing I want badly “unpredictable and variable life,” and only then I’ll allow in my happiness. The trouble is you are only hurting yourself and diminishing your own life's existence. The reason being, none of us know the precise time of receiving what we’ve been asking for. In the meantime, life is carrying on regardless. It’s what it does and will continue to do forevermore. It’s like leaving your happiness to an unknown time frame.
Do any of those thoughts sound familiar to you?
To expand the question further, why is it worth the time and effort to keep yourself happy, in the here and now, regardless of the outside conditions?
And is it even possible?
In answer, the following are x3 good reasons why you should put in the effort.
1. Everything we desire in life; the dream home, fulfilling business/job, ideal partner, desired lifestyle, full health, great family, and enough money in the bank to spend how we wish, is all so that we can experience happiness.
Now, human beings are pretty smart. We can think beyond our present circumstances. Oftentimes to our detriment (e.g., worry and fearful thoughts). When we feel any emotion, our brains do not know if it’s happening in real life or just in our imagination. Our body chemistry and physiology will adjust to reflect whatever we are feeling strongly and regularly.
Take the opportunity to conjure up those feelings of happiness, joy, and peace of mind right where you are. Before you actually receive the things you’ve decided will bring you happiness. It is perfectly doable, and you will feel happy on your way to getting what you want. Not wasting any of your precious life being unhappy. Happy before you get the stuff and happy when you get the stuff.
2. Let’s assume you don’t leave this earth prematurely but live on well into, say, you’re 90’s. Look at the estimated time you personally have until then and ponder this:
Do you really want to spend that remaining time dogged by incessant worry and dissatisfaction, with happiness only making brief appearances in your lifetime?
I am sincerely hoping your answer to that is a “Hell No!”
It’s an opportunity, to be honest with yourself as to where your happiness levels currently sit. Ask yourself what the standard of happiness is that you want for yourself and the rest of your life. My bet is that it’s a lot more than where it currently is.
On the other hand, in the absence of a crystal ball, we don’t know when our time on this wonderful planet will be up. Putting it bluntly, it could be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade… who knows? Therefore, how about being as happy as possible, right here and now – as if it were your last day on earth. And do that every day.
3. I’ll say this first, it is not your job to make others happy, and you are not responsible for their joy and neither are they for your joy and happiness. (That lets everyone of the hook then – phew!)
However, we live and interact with others. No woman/man is an island. One of the many joys of being alive is forming relationships, of all kinds, with others. Relationships, I believe, are one of our biggest teachers in life too. Reflecting back to us what we are putting out there energetically and what we think of ourselves, in respect of the people we choose to interact with.
We naturally want to see others we have relationships with happy and at peace in themselves. That’s a wonderful and caring desire to have.
I am a firm believer that the biggest gift you can ever give to others is your own well-cultivated inner happiness. When you are stable and happy within yourself, you are a joy to be around, and you give others permission to be themselves (wherever they happen to be in their own happiness journey). They do not have to force themselves to be happy just to keep you happy. Your happiness always has the opportunity to positively influence others too, by being a living example, not by telling them they should be happier.
There are more reasons why happiness is worth the time and effort, but I thought the three given would provide you with a good understanding to start with.
How it’s worked and continuing to work in my own life:
Fast forward to now, some 13 years later, after putting in the “happiness” work and continuing it on deeper levels (it’s never done), my health and ability to cope with unexpected life challenges have massively improved. I sleep better and have considerably less fearful thoughts, and general anxiety is barely there. Whenever I do experience worries, I can more quickly turn things around in my head.
I’ll share with you that I am now working on being able to stay centered in my soul/consciousness, more of the time, on a moment-to-moment basis, and even when I bump into the things in life that can trigger me.
With my current spiritual practices, my happiness levels are only getting better and better.
I can wholeheartedly tell you that taking the time and putting in the effort to keep yourself happy is the biggest gift you can give yourself and the most rewarding job you could ever undertake, should you accept the position.
I had set an intention long ago that I wanted to live like it’s Heaven on Earth, regardless of whether I have the things I want in life or not - watch this space.
It is possible, and I wish you the same.
Jacqueline Rhule
Follow Jacqueline on Facebook, Linkedin, and Instagram. You can also visit her website.
Jacqueline Rhule, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jacqueline Rhule is a Business Coach (Business Coaching With Heart & Soul) who helps entrepreneurs to grow their businesses with much more ease and flow and turn their passion to prosperity faster. She also coaches you in the other areas of your life to ensure an optimum work-life balance, all within the realms of personal growth, spirituality, and the law of attraction. She believes that most of the work lies in improving the mindset and clearing any negative thought patterns that are holding you back. When coupled with practical business steps and advice, an unstoppable momentum to success and greatly enhanced overall happiness levels can be achieved. Email her at jackie@serenitycoachingtips.com.
