Written by: Dawn Bates, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Whilst reading a recent article in The Economist titled “Tinder Drove Me To Freeze My Eggs” thoughts occurred to me which were really rather unsettling because behind this title are a number of deeper issues which are incredibly sinister.
As I mentioned in my last article Dating in the World of the Unvaxxed I spoke of the many challenges the dating world offers, especially when it comes to being unvaccinated, and for those who have suffered from sexual violence, infidelity, and ghosting.
For women, as the article in The Economist points out, many are now paying to have their eggs frozen to the sum of $10,000 USD per ‘round’, and for many of these women, it isn’t just one round they are paying for.
Some are halfway to $100,000 USD, and that doesn’t include the therapy sessions, the supplements and alternative healing therapies.
Why are they doing this?
Well, because the amount of eligible, emotionally available men for highly educated, successful women, who are also gentlemen, is sadly lacking.
The biological clock of women means the ticking gets louder with every month, and many of the single ladies in their thirties are having to face the reality of either becoming a single mum from a sperm donor, freezing their eggs until they find ‘the one’ or not becoming a mum at all.
In my studies for my PhD in Anthropology, my fellow students and I have recently been looking at whether it is ethical for a woman to have her dead husband’s child from the sperm he had agreed to have frozen ‘just in case’ anything happened to him.
One particular case study highlighted a woman who had to gain permission from her doctor and the law courts just so she could ‘have the right’ to have her husband’s child, something they had agreed upon prior to his death.
Now, apart from the fact that this woman was grieving for her dead husband, and the life force energies in the spiritual realms, the strain of having to get permission from others who believe themselves to be more important in this choice making process than the two people concerned, is simply astounding.
If she had said it was for research purposes, would the doctors and law courts have been more agreeable to the request a lot sooner?
Why do we as citizens allow others, who know nothing about us and our lives, to make such important decisions for us?
Why do we allow them to have so much control over our lives?
Are we really children incapable of knowing whether we want, and are able to provide for, children?
And where does all this lead?
Will we all, at some point in the near future, have to prove we are capable of raising children in a manner agreeable to the state by being licensed to parent?
From personal experience, when my now ex-husband had his brain tumour, we froze his sperm so I could still have his children if things went badly wrong with his surgery; and I can tell you this now, if I had not been allowed to have his children, there would have been a wrath of fury unleashed upon the British medical and legal system that would have had major ripple effects across the world.
Does anyone have the right to stop us from having a child if we so wish to?
Should doctors or lawyers who know nothing about us and our lives… especially when we are seeing people with drug addictions and convicted sexual predators have children themselves, be given this much power?
As women age, many of them seek the help of doctors and fertility clinics because they are unable to get pregnant.
This has been known for decades, and yet many women put off becoming a mother in search for fun in their twenties, building a career in their thirties and then… struggling to become a mother in their forties, whilst worrying and dealing with the impact of menopause in their fifties and sixties.
Having been told by my careers advisor at school that I needed to choose subjects which would help me achieve my goals in life, I chose to study Child Development because I always knew I wanted to be a mother. Fellow classmates laughed at me as they chose science to become a doctor, maths to become an accountant or sports and music to become famous.
I knew I wanted to be a mum, and I knew I wanted my own business. I learnt that women past the age of thirty were call ‘geriatric mothers’ and my curiosity got the better of me; so in true ‘Dawnee B Stylee’ I went down the rabbit hole with Alice and the Caterpillar.
Learning about the timeframes of a woman’s life, and the complications and disabilities which increased the older I got, I knew I wanted to have two sons by the age of thirty, four years apart, and as Stephen Covey wrote, “Begin with the end in mind”, so that’s exactly what I did.
(It paid to be a geek in school who hid from the bullies in the library I can tell you!).
I knew that if I wanted to have two children by the age of thirty, I had to be married by twenty-three, which meant I had to meet the man I was going to marry by the age of twenty-one. Luckily, I met him when I was eighteen and it was game on.
Now at the age of forty-five, my two sons, born four years apart when I was 25 and 29, who are now twenty and sixteen years of age, and have been with me in my offices, sleeping as new-borns in their bassinette, been on my breastfeeding as I have spoken on expert panels, supported me with tech and guest administration at events I have been speaking at, and they are now helping me grow my business with their digitally native understanding of the world.
Having divorce from their dad ten years ago, after eighteen years together, I am now back on the dating scene and in many ways I am incredibly grateful I do not have to have the added pressures of freezing my eggs just to become a mum.
And the pressures are very real for these ladies, and not just financially.
If we go back just 60 years, these ladies would still have been called ‘Spinsters’, a term frowned upon by society then, and now.
But what of the ethics related to the lengths these modern-day ‘Spinsters’ are going to in their desires to become a mother?
Not only do we have the legal and medical permission issues mentioned above, we have to take into account the integrity of the doctors and scientists dealing with the eggs.
Can they be trusted?
And should we trust them, even if they can be?
When we look to the US, we learn of the Christian doctor, Dr Donald Cline who used his own sperm to fertilise his patients’ eggs, just so he could ‘fulfil his Christian duty’ by fathering as many children as possible; and he did so very successfully.
At last count, this now convicted felon, had fertilised so many eggs he is father to over 94 children all within a relatively close distance from one another which leads to the increased probability of consanguinity and the potential genetic disorders as his grandchildren unknowingly become intimate with one another.
Add to this the high presence of auto-immune deficiency – which is already present in many of his own children, and we have a family who are susceptible to increasing healthcare problems and rising financial hardships.
We can all agree that this is unethical behaviour and should not be allowed to happen, but what of the ethics of stem cell research?
Of cloning?
Stem cell research is arguably a fascinating science and one which is helping to develop many treatments for diabetes and heart disease – which can also be remedied by better eating and exercise habits – but that’s another conversation for another day.
Cloning is very real and is already happening around the world. We already have the TaiPei Six, and in the USA, we have a billionaire with 16 clones of himself.
Although the name of the billionaire has been protected due to privacy laws, fellow US billionaire John Sperling who is bankrolling cloning research did have his beloved pets cloned.
Such is the ego one might say, or was it purely a numbers game to see how many would survive and the different health implications?
In addition to this, we have the concept of the EctoLife human birthing factory – which could ‘produce’ up to 30,000 babies per year.
Is the freezing of the ladies’ eggs a great way for the military to start cloning the eggs in order to build the perfect designer elite army; disposable and controllable for the ‘New World Order’ which many conspiracy theorists have suggested will happen?
Ultimately, no one knows what will happen to these eggs once these ladies have given them away to some unknown person in a science lab dressed as a clinic, and paying $10,000 for the privilege of doing so.
Some of the many questions that need to be asked though, especially with increasing cost of living, inflations rates, banks going bust and individuals working themselves into the ground (which greatly reduces any kind of relationship and ability to procreate) are the questions around whether this is all part of a bigger plan created to reduce the number of people on the planet.
With the questions around the mental health issues relating to men not being emotionally available, the increasing numbers of male suicide, are women wanting too much from their man?
If women do not have the time, or the insight to have a more balanced life where they honour themselves, their work, friendships and romance in equal measure, is there any wonder men are feeling the pressure?
Many women rely too much on the men in their lives to fulfil the needs they are unable or unwilling to fulfil themselves.
They give up who they are, their friends, and time for themselves in order to dedicate their lives to this one person, and as many of us know, this can cripple a man and his mental health in many ways.
So, who do women have to blame for their lack of chances of becoming a mother?
Themselves for not honouring their lifecycles, choosing fun and freedom in the twenties, their careers in their thirties and impending menopause in their forties and fifties?
Do we blame society for the pressures for women to have it all, and be everything to everyone but themselves?
Do we blame the governments for allowing the financial crisis’s and crumbling social structures to continue – even though they are in power to serve the people, which is clearly laid out in the fact that government is made up of civil servants who are there to serve the civilians, not their own egos and agendas.
Or do we blame the parents for not setting a good enough example of what it means to be a family?
Perhaps we blame the schools for putting too much focus on sex and gender education (or misinformation) rather than the female cycles of life when it comes to menstruation and menopause, as written about by myself and those who joined me in one of my recent books The Potent Power of Menopause?
And does it really matter who is to blame, if anyone is to blame?
We all have access to books and the internet to learn the things we need to know, and we all have the ability to make informed choices.
So, is Tinder really to blame for these ladies having to freeze their eggs?
Or is it simply because they failed to make wise choices earlier on in life because the clubs, designer clothing and careers were seen as more important than the role of motherhood?
Dawn Bates, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dawn Bates is a true international bestselling author multiple times over on five continents. She specialises in developing global leaders into real authorities who wish to give a voice to the voiceless whilst working with them to create brand expansion strategies through activism and authorship.
Profound truths, social justice and human rights underpin everything she does, and at the core of her soul is a passion for being of service to humanity, giving hope, courage and confidence for others to stand in their truth and live a life of conviction.
She writes for various magazines, sails around the world on yachts as a digital nomad and is currently working towards her PhD in Human Rights and Social Justice with the University of Oxford, whilst also hosting her own podcasts The Sacral Series and The Truth Serum.
Her books are powerful and comprise of solo compilations and multiple collaborations of the highest caliber. Dawn brings together the multi-faceted aspects of the world we live in and takes you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, whilst delivering mic dropping inspiration, motivation and awakening. Her work captures life around the world in all its rawness.
Dawn’s expertise and insights will make you rethink your life, whilst harnessing the deepest freedom of all: your own truth. She’s an authority on leading others to create exceptional results by igniting the passions and fires deep within to speak and live powerfully.
