Written by Amna Abrar Khan, Health Coach
Dr. Amna Abrar Khan is a well-known health coach who specialised in making things simple, from understanding hormones, energy, nutrition, movement, and even managing stress. Her 'a simple step' program has been known to transform clients' lives so seamlessly into their routine.
He said something you didn’t like. You felt offended, and it hurt your ego. You got defensive and started listing all the things he did that upset you, tit for tat. The issue was minor, but at the moment, it seemed like a big deal. It felt like the end of the world, like you were always misunderstood and undervalued. And maybe he feels the same way. You project your own wounds, and he projects his. The clash intensifies, and what seemed like a simple disagreement now feels irreparable. To keep the peace, you might hide your feelings, storing them in your body, which only adds to your stress.
And this keeps happening again and again. Does this sound familiar? You’re not alone. Everyone goes through this cycle at some point, but it doesn’t have to be this way. There are simple, effective steps you can take to change your perception and shift from reacting to responding in a way that nurtures your relationship.
Living in a stressful world
We live in an overwhelming society – too many things to do, constantly on the go, non-nutritious meals, distracted brains, endless screen time, sleep deprivation, and caffeine or sugar dependence. These stressors have become normalized, yet they are taking a toll on our well-being and relationships.
I love this quote by Jim Rohn: “I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.” When we prioritize our own well-being, it becomes easier to support others. When our partners do the same, a virtuous cycle begins, allowing both to pour into each other from a place of wholeness. But to achieve this, we must first invest in ourselves.
External stressors that can affect relationships
If external stressors such as work, finances, or health challenges are impacting your relationship, you might notice:
Increased irritability and impatience with your partner
Less quality time and emotional connection
Frequent misunderstandings over minor issues
Decreased physical intimacy and affection
Feeling mentally drained and emotionally unavailable
When stress dominates our lives, nurturing a loving and supportive relationship becomes challenging. Your partner may feel neglected, and communication can deteriorate, leading to a cycle of disconnection.
Signs that your relationship is the source of stress
On the other hand, if your relationship itself is the primary source of stress, you might experience:
Constant tension or feeling like you’re walking on eggshells
Difficulty discussing concerns without arguments
Feeling unsupported or misunderstood
A lack of trust or recurring conflicts
Anxiety or worry about the future of the relationship
When relationships are a major source of stress, they can take a toll on your mental and physical health, leading to exhaustion and emotional burnout.
What you can do to manage stress and strengthen your relationship
While it’s important to work on the relationship together, it’s equally crucial to take time for yourself and understand what you can do independently to improve your well-being. Many people feel overwhelmed and unsupported, leading to neglecting self-care, which perpetuates stress and further impacts the relationship.
1. Prioritize open communication
Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Share your feelings openly and honestly without blaming or criticizing. Use "I" statements to express your needs and emotions, such as, "I feel overwhelmed when..."
Vulnerability can be challenging, especially if past conversations haven’t gone well. However, expressing yourself authentically helps prevent feelings of helplessness and resentment. Remember, both partners are responsible for their own feelings and responses.
2. Practice stress-reducing techniques
Simple relaxation techniques can bring the body into a parasympathetic state, changing how you perceive circumstances and respond to stress. Instead of judging yourself, get curious about why you reacted the way you did. Some helpful techniques include:
Meditation and deep breathing exercises
Going for walks alone or with your partner
Practicing gratitude by sharing daily positive experiences
3. Set boundaries to protect your peace
Establish clear boundaries to prevent external stressors from infiltrating your relationship. This could mean setting limits on work hours, social obligations, and digital distractions to create more quality time with your partner. Begin with personal boundaries, such as limiting screen time, reducing caffeine intake, or establishing a consistent bedtime.
4. Seek support from loved ones or professionals
An outside perspective can provide valuable insight and guidance. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Chronic stress can persist when you feel unsupported, but reaching out for help is an essential step toward relief. Even if past experiences were disheartening, support is always available.
5. Focus on self-care
Taking care of yourself is crucial in managing stress and contributing to a healthier relationship. Simple self-care practices include:
Sleep hygiene: Maintain consistent sleep and wake times.
Nutrition: Eat nourishing meals that support gut health with fiber, probiotics, and prebiotics.
Movement: Engage in daily exercise to release endorphins and regulate mood.
Oral hygiene: Good oral health impacts digestion and overall health.
Identify and address root causes
Take time to reflect on whether the stress stems from unresolved issues within the relationship or external pressures. Identifying the root cause allows you to work on targeted solutions rather than applying temporary fixes.
Small steps to strengthen your relationship
Regardless of the source of stress, here are a few small but impactful steps you can take to improve your relationship dynamics:
Schedule regular check-ins: Discuss feelings, concerns, and goals with your partner.
Engage in shared activities: Whether it’s cooking, exercising, or enjoying a hobby, spending intentional time together can foster connection.
Practice active listening: Give your partner your full attention when they speak, validating their emotions and perspectives.
Celebrate small victories: Acknowledge progress in communication and personal growth.
Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s efforts, even in small ways.
Conclusion
Whether stress is affecting your relationship or your relationship is causing stress, acknowledging the issue is the first step toward improvement. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, you can create a healthier, more fulfilling dynamic.
Stress is inevitable, but how you handle it together makes all the difference. Start small and implement these strategies today to experience a positive shift in your relationship and overall well-being. By taking care of yourself first, you’ll be better equipped to nurture and strengthen your relationship.
Read more from Amna Abrar Khan
Amna Abrar Khan, Health Coach
Dr. Amna Abrar Khan is a health coach with a medical degree and a mother of three. After struggling with IBS, anxiety, hormonal imbalances, and an eating disorder, she discovered the profound impact of prioritizing sleep and holistic health. Now, she uses her medical expertise and personal experience to guide others toward sustainable well-being and vibrant living so that they know how to take care of themselves while they love to take care of the people around them because, ultimately, we are a community.
