Written by: Tamzin Hall, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The Oxford Dictionary defines popularity as “the state or condition of being liked, admired, or supported by many people.” Within the workplace, people's roles tend to fall into one of these categories. Employees' ideologies require them to be liked by their colleagues and admired by their managers. Whilst leaders want to be supported by others. As we explore whether popularity at work is essential for a successful career, let's start with what it means to you. My first question to you is, what does popularity mean to you? My second question asking, is the answer different in a workplace environment versus a social environment?
Let us start by casting our memories back to school.
Can you recall the most popular person in your class? I am surprised how I can remember someone so vividly 30 years later.
Can you remember why were they popular?
Where they funny, clever, hardworking, or a bit of a joker?
Who were they popular with?
Was the student who was popular with the teachers, popular with other students?
Or was the teacher's pet viewed by their peers as someone to be avoided?
One of my very first mentors told me that if I want to succeed at work, I will not be popular with some of my colleagues. At the time, this reminded me of my school days because in my school, the teacher's pet was never the most popular. In my experience, being the teacher's pet does not make you the most popular kid in school, I was neither but when standing on the side-lines contemplating my choices, I took it all in.
Whilst there are some exceptions to the rule, fellow students seem to love a joker and people who make them laugh, organise parties and hang out at the bar. Whereas the student who work hard, studies hard and does not disrupt the class is popular with teachers. This could possibly be why it is common for the most unpopular kids at school to turn up at a school reunion being the most successful ‒ the “geeky” kids are seen as the ones who are good at tests, the ones the teachers admire, and the ones others do not appreciate or understand. Yet!
If you are striving to be popular with your leaders and managers, you may not be treated as well by your peers. A 2009 study by The Popularity Contest ¹ concluded that popular co-workers were treated fairly by their colleagues, and unpopular co-workers were not. When emotions such as jealousy and resentment are a daily occurrence in the workplace, especially when some individuals are striving for promotion and recognition, it is exceedingly difficult to be popular with everyone.
It is time to ask yourself, who do you want to be popular with?
If you are striving for a successful career, does being popular with everyone lead to career success. The simple answer is no. Is anyone in an organisation ever popular with everyone? No. It is impossible, every decision made at work does not please everyone. LinkedIn ² publishes advice on how to deliver unpopular decisions, addressing the fact that any one decision could not please everyone.
If you want to be popular with your boss, you may find yourself in a situation where you achieve something that makes your colleagues jealous, which in turn sparks unpopularity! For you to take the next step up the career ladder, who do you want or need to be popular with? Your colleagues? Your clients? Your network? Your boss? The colleague who gets the promotion will encounter jealousy and remarks from bitter colleagues who think they can do the role even if they never put themselves forward.
Therefore, if you are striving for an internal promotion, there is a chance you will become unpopular with some of your colleagues. Although please ember this is not a reflection on you, moreover it is them projecting their emotions, disappointment in themselves or jealousy of your ambition onto you and, as explained in The Evolutionary Psychology of Envy ³, are important parts of what it means to be human
Have you ever thought, gosh how did they get the promotion? They are awful at their job? Think back a ask yourself what were they awful at, where they a terrible communicator? Did they not achieve what they needed to achieve? Or where they striving to impress the leadership team and were not concerned with lunchtime drinks at the pub? People are perceived differently by colleagues and leaders. You cannot be the life and soul of the party by making your colleagues laugh and aim to be popular with your bosses.
Bosses, potential bosses, and clients are looking for someone who is hardworking and committed. It is possible to be your co-worker's friend and engage in social events whilst being hardworking and committed. Although we need to be mindful to avoid office gossip and strive not to create waves with the wrong people.
How can we get the balance right?
Let us be honest internal auditors are not the most popular people in an organisation when they turn up to pull apart, question and audit departments. However, auditors have successful careers because they are necessary for the company's regulatory requirements and their job is to be scary rather than popular.
You cannot be popular with everyone; you will not get on with everyone. Having the traits that make someone popular can be beneficial, however, my greatest piece of advice is to stay true to your values. If you are committed and achieve all you need to achieve, you will achieve promotions and have a successful career. As you navigate the journey it is inevitable that you will be popular with some and unpopular with others.
However, with that all said, a further study by LinkedIn ⁴ explored relationships at work. The study concluded that 46% of professionals believe having friendships at work enhances overall happiness. According to the study, connecting with colleagues, and making friends with them can boost happiness, productivity, and engagement. So, how can we get the balance right? How can we make friends, be popular with the people we want to be popular with and have a successful career?
According to Mitch Prinstein ⁵, it is simple ‒ likability is the key.
Every role has a role profile, and in every career, they are a set of activities that need to be completed. If you complete your tasks, help others, and strive for more, you have a good chance of being popular at work. According to psychologist, Mitch Prinstein, to be more popular at work, employees need to be genuine team players. Prinstein believes popularity is not what makes individuals successful. The most successful are the ones who are most likeable. These are the employees who cooperate with others, are helpful, share, and follow the rules.
How do you become more likeable?
Based on my experience, and through conversations with organisations, the answer is to make others feel valued, included, and happy. There are many ways to do this ‒ here are a few of my favourites;
Invest in people by taking an interest in others. Learn about them, be interested in them, listen to them. Find out what they are doing at the weekend, remember and ask them about it. We are instantly lifted when someone remembers and takes time to ask about us. I always remember names of children and ask how did ‘flossy’ get on at her ballet exam. They may not like my decision at work, but they like me because I remember what is important to them.
Listen to others, reflect in their ideas. Let others now they have been heard goes a long way. Understand your co-workers' point of view is extremely important. Psychologists Candida C. Peterson and Michael Siegal explained how empathy is a necessary skill that provides the foundations for building relationships with others ⁶.
Here is what you can do to gain the respect you need;
Communication is key! If you are striving for a promotion, let your colleagues know. If you are concerned about a decision you have to make, communicate with others.
Collaborate with others. Utilise those friendships at work. You do not have to do anything alone.
Do not expect everyone to like you. You are fabulous just the way you are. If someone does not like you, it is their loss.
Do not gossip, try not to get involved in office politics and try to keep the peace. Yes, it can be easier said than done, but it is worth it.
Use and remember names! Dale Carnegie wrote that: “A person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in the world.” ⁷ However if you get the name wrong, this will have a detrimental effect!
Get stuck in! According to TinyPulse, the top trait that employees value in their co-workers is teamwork! Showing your co-workers that you are and can be a team player will increase your likability by making you easier to work with ⁸
If you would like to explore this further, this article explains how to become more likeable during networking events, however I believe the concepts are the same throughout the workplace too ‒ after all we are always networking at work!
I am sure you can think of many more ways to be likable at work, after all every workplace is different. Research by the University of Massachusetts ⁹ supports the theory that being likeable is more important than being popular. Their study found that people will go along with suggestions at work if they like the person making the suggestions, even if they do not agree with them. Why not jot down a few ideas you have to be likable in your organisation.
Final Thoughts
I honestly believe you should not strive for either popularity or likability at work. In simple terms, you will never be popular with everyone, and you will never be liked by everyone. Remember the most popular kid at school ‒ where they were liked by every simple child, parent, and teacher? Not everyone likes marmite, not everyone likes chocolate. We are all different and if we strive to be liked by and to be popular with everyone, we are fighting a battle we will never win. My advice to you into focus on your journey, and your career path and get the basics right. Some great advice and according to Michel Page ¹⁰, there is a 6-step solution to how to succeed at work,
Never stop learning
Keep asking questions
Talk to your boss
Make friends in the office
Have a healthy work-life balance
Have your own voice
If you would like to understand how to take charge of your career development, this article is an interesting read.
We have discussed what it is to be popular. We have discussed what it is to be liked. Here are some further questions to ask yourself;
What does your career need?
What does your organisation or your sector what do they need from Somebody who is looking to climb the ladder?
Are you even looking to climb the ladder?
Or do you want a successful career during the role that you are doing?
What does what you want to do require you to be does it do you want to be the popular person who makes everybody laughs in the popular person who?
Why not flip the script and aim for a successful career instead of popularity? Crave for success before you start wishing to become popular. Once you succeed in life; popularity will come searching for you. Now you see the significant difference between success and popularity.
Success at work and in your career has a limited correlation to popularity, success is all about the impact you are making ‒ go and make the impact you are destined to make. I believe in you, I hope you believe in yourself too.
If you want to explore this in more detail and ensure success for you or your team, coaching with a high-performance psychology coach is just what you need. A safe space to discuss, explore where you move forward with ease and confidence.
For full details and to find out more please visit here.
Go and enjoy the career or business of your dreams, on your terms.
Tamzin Hall, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tamzin is a performance psychology coach specialising in leadership development and executive coaching.
Weaving a golden thread of empowerment, happiness and compassion. Tamzin partners with her clients to create high-performing organisations through their biggest asset, their people.
Tamzin seamlessly combines decades of leadership & business experience, with a lifetime of learning in the field of businesses and psychology along with ICF-accredited coach training and a recent BSc (Hons) in Psychology to give her clients exactly what they need. A high-performing organisation with happy and dedicated staff.
The harsh reality is 79% of employees will quit after receiving inadequate appreciation from their managers. Do you know what empowering appreciation looks like? Tamzin shows you and your leaders how to appreciate your staff for longevity.
69% of employees are concerned that their workplace does not develop their leadership skills. How can businesses lead from the front if leaders are not trained to be the next generation of leaders? Tamzin has a toolkit of support, development and training to ensure people are developed and ready for the future. To ensure they are ready to evolve and ready to lead with empowerment.
Businesses are acknowledging the importance of leadership development with 83% of companies saying it is crucial. Which is great news. But there is a huge gap in knowing leadership development is important and having a development programme to support a business. Tamzin bridges this gap.
Is your business ready to evolve?
Are you ready to develop the next generation of leaders?
Are you ready to lead from a place of empowerment?
Are you ready to create a high-performing culture?
Email Tamzin today, tamzin@tamzinhallcoaching.co.uk.
References:
[2] https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-deliver-unpopular-decisions-mark-fryer/
[3] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/285722136_The_Evolutionary_Psychology_of_Envy
[6] https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1348/026151002166415
[7] https://dalecarnegieboston.tumblr.com/post/26913630460/dale-tip-6-a-persons-name-is-the-sweetest
[8] https://www.tinypulse.com/resources/employee-engagement-survey-2013
[9] (https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/Papers.cfm?abstract_id=1476399).
[10] https://www.michaelpage.co.uk/advice/career-advice/growing-your-career/six-top-tips-how-succeed-work
