Written by: Viloshni Moodley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you feel sex is overrated?
Traditionally sex is taboo and does not get a space for discussion at social events or even in private with your partner. Maybe this is a generalization, but it is a reality for the majority.
Sex is our second survival instinct and core to our experience as humans.
Sex is not embarrassing. Your fantasies are not shocking. They are normal and healthy to be explored. Suppressing these can become frustrating and have one feel confined to certain norms dictated by society. Sex should be what we want it to be for ourselves, provided we have a consenting partner that we share open communication with. Fantasies are not necessarily what is acted out, but it is created in our mind. Fantasies can be discussed with your partner and acted out on agreement between each other.
Some of the health benefits from having sex:
Relieves stress
Lowers blood pressure
Improved immune system
Cardiovascular benefits
Improved self-esteem
Decrease depression and anxiety
Boosts brain power
Reduces the risk of prostate cancer in males
Immediate, natural pain relief
Better sleep
Surely, with this type of benefit, who would not want to indulge? The reality is that there are different reasons that some people do not engage in sex. If this is the situation with you or your partner, make sure you talk about their reasons for not engaging in sexual activity. There could be an underlying problem or medical issue that can be addressed by reaching out for the appropriate help. After all, sex is the glue that keeps relationships together.
If you are unsure if you satisfy your partner, there is no better way than to ask them and do not assume. Communication is key, and without verbalizing what you want, your partner cannot fulfill your wishes, and the same applies to them. There are no rules that apply where sex is concerned. You and your partner make these rules as you go along your journey together to make the entire experience mutually pleasurable considering each other’s boundaries. Ultimately, each person is in control of their pleasure and orgasms.
Create an understanding between your partner and yourself that you can communicate with ease about any fetishes, sexual interests that would like to be explored, i.e., BDSM, swinging, a threesome, or simply a different position. Of course, curiosity is sparked when one reads or hears about other’s adventures in these areas. The safe option is to inform yourself, discuss these with your partner and proceed on an agreement. Exploring options together with open, clear communication builds a stronger bond between the couple.
As humans, we evolve in many areas of our existence, and so should we in our sex lives by liberating ourselves and creating the sparks we want to experience with our partners. The intent and attitude override size, technique, and all else that we falsely place as important factors to enjoying sex. Misinformation and norms created by society are what construct the problems people deal with in relationships. Change that for yourself if you have fallen into the trap.
Our overall well-being can be changed positively by having a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship. It is never too late; the power is within us to re-invent our sexual and sensual being.
Viloshni Moodley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Viloshni Moodley is an accredited Master Sexpert, Relationship & Love Coach practicing as an Online Intimacy Coach. She is the founder and owner of Ultimacy Online, since leaving her over 25 years of management experience within Corporate South Africa. Her passion for empowering individuals with positive sex education and breaking the cycle of negative conditioning has influenced her decision on establishing Ultimacy Online. She believes relationships are the most important factor to overall well-being and thus passionate about making a change to ensure people have more fulfilling relationships. Having a happy, healthy relationship provides balance in individuals and couples. Individuals equipped with sex positive information diminish the misnomers and shame associated with sex. It provides a basis to make informed decisions for the persons sexual health and promotes safe behaviour. This can contribute to making a difference in the horrific stats we are faced with daily on gender-based violence and sexual health issues. Ultimacy Online was a 2020 Brainz Magazine 500 Honouree. Viloshni has been a recipient of the Great Indian Women Award in the category of an Indian Women Making an Impact for 2021. TEDx Speaker on “The Importance of Intimacy."
