Written by: Ana In Style, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What is your motto? Do you believe “Fake it till you make it” works? What if I told you this very same advice many people swear by is a fake in itself? I am guilty of trying it out myself, too, of course. Many of us went through this. I will tell you that there is more to this than meets the eye. But before I do that…
Yes, I am claiming that this aphorism itself is a fraud, and I will explain why.
The mindset
The problem of this idea starts at the very foundation – the mindset. If we say we need to fake something, we do not believe that it is true. Moreover, we are telling ourselves over and over again that this is not true. Therefore, transforming it into our truth and our reality becomes difficult. How can we become somebody if we do not believe it is true?
The belief
If we do not believe it is true, can we then believe it is possible? I do not think so. If we do not believe something is possible? How can we become a person we wish we were/could become?
The trust
If we do not believe, we cannot trust. That means we cannot trust that things will get better. We can only hope they will.
The hope
Hope is something that gives us humans the will to carry on despite all present odds that are not in our favor at the moment. But hope is contra-productive. It is static. It does not do anything. There is no action. It just is. We can sit on a couch all day long and just hope something will happen. But we leave it to chance. And more often than not, nothing happens. Because we are passive, we do not act.
All in all, this statement seems to be too simple and only valid for a short time. Just enough to overcome a stage-fright or something similar that fades away as quickly as it came.
What if there was a better way? A more permanent way? A way that would make you skip stages and help you evolve faster, much faster.
Lucky for you. There exists a better way. It is called “Become your future self.”
However, I must warn you. This is not the same as “what would your role model do or say.”
It is more powerful than that. It is about you, your inner essence, your imagination, your perception, your potential, your dreams, your talents, you name it. It is all about you, your inner diamond that just needs a little polishing, and you alone.
So let’s focus on that.
Being vs. faking
Being is something completely different than faking. It is a part of you already. It has always been there, maybe in a dormant state, but it has been there. You do not have to search for it. You do not have to work hard for it. But what you do need to do is letting it loose, setting it free, let it spread its wings, let it shine in all its glory. Being means freeing yourself from hiding, from holding back.
It is not fake. It is there. It is alive within every one of us.
If you can dream it, you are capable of doing it.
This is probably my favorite and most used quote with my self-conscious clients. If you were not capable of doing something you wish you had or did, you had not even thought of it. Now, how powerful is that?! But it is not enough. You were prepared to do it. You need a fruitful ground, the energy and willpower, the knowledge, the opportunities, the support. But you are capable, and this is the most important part because everything else can be fixed, arranged, and manifested.
Picture your future self
Time is irrelevant. It does not exist in the future as it does in the present. Just pick a time when your dream self would/will be possible for you. You will need to do that with your heart because time does not exist in your heart, but it does in your head. So go into your heart and observe through your heart.
Have a meeting with your future self
Now invite that person to come closer to you. Who is that person, what does he or she do, how is he or she dressed, how does he or she act, how does he or she talk, behave? Observe and learn. Study them well. You can even tell them to talk to your inner child and comfort its fears and disbeliefs.
Mimic
Now mimic them. Act as if you were your future self now. Try to be them. Try to be your future self in the present moment. Act in front of a mirror or record yourself so that you will have proof that you indeed can be that person.
Repeat
If you keep repeating that, it will come naturally to you. You will merge the present and the future in an upgraded, improved, elevated you.
Too much theory?
A practical example:
A depressed and unpopular high-school girl wants to be loved and accepted by her peers. She fakes to be nice and cute. It is evident she is trying too hard. Fast-forward a few years, a grownup businesswoman with good career opportunities suffers from impostor syndrome. She needs help. She is suggested to have a meeting with her future self. She does the exercise, and now she knows she is meant for something more. She finds her mission and purpose in life and a clear path to how she will make it happen.
And the best thing? This way, it is permanent, believable, and achievable.
Do you silently believe you can? Do you secretly believe you are capable?
That is good enough for me. The question is, is it good enough for you?
Ana In Style, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ana Malovrh, also known as Ana in Style, is the founder of Choose Your Signature Style™. She is a Certified Virtual Personal Stylist and Visual Brand Consultant. As a talented but introverted linguist, she had discovered the power of nonverbal communication that transformed her life. She now works with high achievers and empaths who would like to level up their success by feeling confident and aligned with their inner essence through their signature style. With her keen eye for supposedly unrelatable connections, she created a fusion named The Feng Shui Apparel System™ to help her maverick clients feel confident and secure even in the most unfavorable or highly competitive environments. Outside the public eye, she is a patient and loving special needs mom.
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