Written by: Elena Herrera, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Everyone’s life seems so fruitful while mine is constant hard work – I’m so jealous!!
All your online entrepreneur “friends” always report amazing wins while you’re struggling to get noticed and see impactful results.
Your BFF just found the love of her life while you can’t even find a decent match on Tinder.
And everyone you know seems to be able to afford all the nice things they want while you have yet to create the financial freedom you want.
You are excited for them, but inside you are steaming with jealousy.
I remembered a few years ago, I found myself in a very vulnerable place of jealousy. I had just moved to NYC to pursue my dreams. I had plans of starting a family while building a successful career. However, I ended up buried in a slow self-growth process, merely doing shadow work for the next three years.
I quickly realized that this was not the time for me to manifest anything until I worked through my internal pain, struggles, and fears. I was utterly alone and isolated. I had a hard time meeting new people. And I couldn’t see the light at the end of my tunnel.
This was a sensitive time for me because I saw others manifesting their dreams into reality while I felt completely stuck in my life. I couldn't understand why it was easy for them to realize their goals while I couldn't even seem to accomplish simple things like making a new friend.
I was doing so much internal work, but I saw little change in my life. It all made me feel “less than,” undeserving, and not good enough. Yes, I was jealous of others – very often.
I learned then to accept that jealousy is okay.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion. However, it does make us look and feel bad. We judge it so harshly and try to avoid it at all costs.
The second jealousy arises within us. We want to hide it, push it away, or bury it inside because we feel horrible about it.
But why? If jealousy is natural and part of what makes us human, why do we feel strongly against it? Because we are conditioned from a very young age to see jealousy as a very negative trait.
It’s just not a socially acceptable justification for us to feel or display envy– it’s even coined “the green-eyed monster.”
Plus, there is a secondary emotion that accompanies jealousy – GUILT!
Most likely, you feel guilty for being jealous of others– am I right?
So, what do you usually do? You most likely try to put a positive spin on it through some affirmation that helps you “get rid of” jealousy – in turn, getting rid of your guilt. However, deep down, you still feel jealous and guilty!!
Let’s be honest. Until you learn to embrace your current experience (i.e., by accepting your shadows, in this case, jealousy), you cannot move forward.
Instead of trying to get rid of your jealousy, allow yourself to have it. Bring your attention to it. Feel it.
What is your jealousy trying to communicate to you?
Every emotion has a purpose.
So, what do you think is behind your jealousy?
I’d say – DESIRE!
Yes, your jealousy usually points out a desire. When you look at others and feel jealous, recognize that it is not about them. It is about you and where you need to get in touch with your desire.
The reason your jealousy is triggered is that the thing you desire is important to you to obtain. When you give space to your desire and truly feel it, your jealousy transforms. It becomes an opportunity for you to bring your attention back to yourself to focus on manifesting your desire.
If you don't get in touch with your desire, you will continue staying in your jealousy, depriving yourself of alignment with your true path.
Here are 3 simple steps to shift out of jealousy and into alignment:
1. Be Grateful for Your Experience
When feeling jealous of the success of others, thank them for pointing out to you your trigger. This has created a connection point to help you recognize what you truly want.
2. Witness Your Desire
Jealousy is a validation of your desire. When you understand your feelings, you are standing in your power and truth. You are not beating yourself up for it, nor are you justifying or explaining your desire.
3. Dream Big
Don't underestimate yourself. If you want something strongly, it indicates it is meant for you. Otherwise, you wouldn't desire it. Chances are, you already have what you need to attain your dreams. Focus on your desire. Let it inspire your actions.
If you struggle with your emotions, whether it is jealousy or something else, don't hesitate to reach out to me. I will help you get in touch with your deeper truth, create emotional awareness, and align with your authentic self so you can focus on your success instead of others.
Elena Herrera, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine My personal story of transformation took my life from “unconscious” to “connected and meaningful.” Applying the same tools and modalities I teach today, plus my gift of intuition, I grew from a personal trainer to a full-blown Intuitive Transformational Coach who helps dozens of people to live a life of self-awareness, radiance, and fulfillment.
