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I Am What I Am

Written by: Naomi L. Brown, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

 

You know it’s funny, if you asked who I was to someone that wasn’t me. I would be many different things to many different people. The gobshite, the diva, the victim, the martyr, the bitch, the woman with the big handbag to carry all her bullshit and lessons in, the liar or perhaps even they may say I’m the most real as they come. Cut throat behind those soft lips of mine with the greatest of intentions. They may say I am an attention seeker, the soft wilting flower or the sweetest rose you could ever meet. They might even celebrate me (and I hope they would and will!) by saying I’m a businesswoman, a coach, a queen, a warrior or I’ve been through a lot and ‘done alright for myself’ or perhaps that I’m damaged, beyond repair. After all, we are so quick to focus on the negative in people before we see their positives.

And you know if truth be told I’ve been all these things at some point or stage of my life more times than I care to admit. Desperate to survive. Desperate to be heard. We are so many things to other people. Our loved ones, our family, our colleagues, our enemies. They’ve had an experience of you based on a fragment of time where you may have been or might even be currently. We worry what people think and how they perceive us based on who wish to be to get the best of the situation, often not being true to really who we are. And god I know this all too well by the way. 30 years of living for others based on fear, ego and desperation for validation and acceptance of what people thought of me. It mattered to me like oxygen itself...


We then end up on this cycle. It affects every part of us. How we look, taking millions of pictures in itty bitty clothes to post it on the gram, or getting so drunk you make silly choices because you want to be seen when you need 6 months in isolation to reset you, to dip your toe into the murky pool of healing and growing so you can be glowing!


You know I’ve realised in this dogma of my life, taking one disastrous turn; one after another and another... you are faced with two choices and two choices only (and this applies to any aspect in your life when it’s not working out for you!) repeat and you will get the same shitty pattern, the situation may be different but I assure you the outcome will be the same. If anything, it might be worse actually. The universe will magnify the lesson for you until you get the message loud and clear. Or you can change it. Take the leap of faith. Into the unknown... ready to embark on the hero’s journey.


I’d love to tell you this journey is all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. No, This journey is freaking terrifying, I assure you. But it doesn’t disappoint. There are many dragons you have to slay on this new quest for life. Many opinions and people you have to banish out your kingdom of hope for the future. It’s tough.


Remember, we have been on that cycle of worrying about what others think so this can be exceptionally hard to do... and it has been. You definitely go through a phase on your hero’s journey where you have cast everyone aside you’ve ever known and loved because their energy no longer matches the energy you want to feel in your life. You feel guilty, shameful of the past, you’re alone at that moment for a reason, to grow even though it feels like a part of you has died and it has, so grieves it for as long as you possibly need to. Your healing and self-development journey won't ever be linear, I’m sorry to tell you.


But it’s in those moments between your tears and a broken heart for those people, those situations and memories. With the rain beating down outside. That you’re still here, still breathing, still trying to love like you’ve got a clue what that even means when you’ve only had snippets and inconsistencies throughout your fickle life. That word used to be a notion to me only expressed through fairytales, or a film from the golden era of cinema or momentarily in the beautifully broken relationships I’ve had along the way...


But once the rain stops and your tears dry. Things can never be the same as what they once were. Sure the pattern can remain the same. But the hurt changes, it deepens, the scar gets more infected with self-sabotage if we are to repeat it... or we can change, and only we can make that decision. Us and us alone...


I have become a thriver from a survivor of whatever has come my way and I have proven many times that whenever you are in the ashes and dirt of your life you can rise truly rise like the Phoenix you are, whoever you are.


Based in Scotland and I get to work with men and women all over the world supporting them in their limiting beliefs professionally and personally so they can rise and become their own Phoenix. I launched my consultancy and coaching business in August 2020 and my aim was to help and inspire as many people as I can and could with inclusive person centred support and integrity within my coaching practise.


I am living proof that change can lead to great things with my own story of trauma and abuse growing up and throughout my life. I have used this as a catalyst to help others move forward. Turning pain into power, Trauma into triumph. My approach to our business consultancy and life coaching clients at Harmony Business and Life Solutions is one that is person centred and adopted from my career in the health and social care sector where I had the opportunity of working with many types of service users all who faced their own set of challenges. I grew up in a small city in Scotland in two-bedroom flat with my two brothers mother and her partner.


There were happy times at home but I wouldn’t say it was a place where I felt at home. My father beyond hated me it seemed and I understand why now, a victim of his own circumstances. I witnessed and endured so much from such a young age of violence, aggression and destruction in the form of domestic violence and alcoholism and this pattern followed me up until 2 years ago. You think this is what life is being on survival mode when in reality life is NOTHING like that. However, I would like to think this gives a unique selling point on my abilities as a coach when it comes to having first-hand experience of trauma and limitations. I have gone on to achieve my first degree in Business Management and I am currently commencing my Postgraduate studies in coaching and consultancy.


I am living proof that whatever happens in life. It is all about perspective. I choose to see the world with warmth and we are all going through storms in our minds and lives, which no one can imagine or know about. I feel it's important no matter where you go then to always leave a little sunshine for others.


Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!

 

Naomi L. Brown, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Naomi L Brown, is a heartfelt leader when it comes to self-development, resilience and identifying limitations in others. She has an authentic and endearing nature about her when it comes to working with her clients and strives for person-centered solutions as a coach in her day to day practice. Naomi is the Managing Director of Harmony Business and Life Solutions Ltd which is a unique and accredited business and life coaching consultancy. They offer support to their clients with personal and professional development and action; with the aim to raise and reach their fullest potential whatever their walk of life has been. She has been published in Yahoo Finance for her coaching and is currently commencing her Post-grad in Coaching and Consultancy at university. Possessing already her Bachelors in Business Management she has combined her turbulent life experiences with her formal training to be beautifully and empathetically real with all who are fortunate enough to know, work or meet her.


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