James Marlin is a professional questioner, storyteller, dad, and husband with a passion for investigating. He works to distill complex findings into actionable and relatable information through his written articles and keynote talks. Having battled and overcome addiction, James firmly believes in the power of change.
Vanessa Lopez, a trailblazer in the funeral industry, redefines death and dying with compassion, innovation, and multicultural expertise. As a seasoned funeral director with over 18 years of experience, she challenges misconceptions, advocates for open dialogue, and envisions a future where end-of-life care is transformative and deeply personal.
Transforming perceptions and practices in the funeral industry
Vanessa Lopez, a licensed Funeral Director in New York with over 18 years of experience, is a force of change in the funeral industry. With an Associate’s degree in Mortuary Science from the American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Services and a career spanning international experiences in Nepal, India, and Spain, Vanessa brings a multicultural perspective to death customs and end-of-life care.
Currently serving as the General Manager of a Brooklyn-based funeral firm, she oversees operations with a focus on compassion, empathy, and integrity; qualities that define her professional philosophy. Fluent in two languages, Vanessa is also a recognized thought leader in business management, team building, customer service, and human resources. Outside of work, she enjoys exploring Park Slope, Brooklyn, with her dog and cherishes time with her family and friends.
Through her candid responses in a recent interview, Vanessa sheds light on the misconceptions surrounding her profession, the challenges it faces, and her vision for its future.
Breaking misconceptions about the funeral industry
According to Vanessa, one of the biggest misunderstandings about the funeral industry is the perception that it is mostly driven by profit, lacking empathy and quality services for grieving families.
“We are perceived as seeing dollar signs and looking to capitalize on death and grieving families,” she shares. “I have had families tell me that I am a ‘scam’ during the arrangements conference. This stigma isolates the industry and creates mistrust from the public.”
For decades, the funeral industry has been struggling to remain relevant. The number of funeral homes across the U.S. continues to decline. Some struggle with loss of revenue, reduced market value, stagnant wages, a shortage of qualified workers, and changing trends. “I worry about the future of the industry over the next 20 years,” Vanessa states.
She stresses the importance of educating and working with the community to change this narrative. “We need to attract new talent to ensure the profession continues to serve families with dignity and compassion. The public demands more cost-effective services and new approaches in lieu of traditional services. The question we should be asking ourselves as professionals is: Will the one-on-one experience with the funeral director still be needed? Or will families shift to a purely online or virtual experience from the privacy and comfort of their homes to plan funeral services?”
Reimagining death and dying in society
“How can we change how American society handles death and dying? How can we remove the taboo and scary connotation associated with death and old age?” Vanessa asks. “As people, we need to move away from this willingness to avoid the subject or pretend we don’t have time to discuss it. It is not a failure to address our mortality but an opportunity for transformation, compassionate work, and spiritual growth,” she explains.
She emphasizes the importance of education and open dialogue, suggesting that supporting those close to us through the dying process can foster deep spiritual growth and strengthen family bonds. “Celebrating the legacy, achievements, and resilience of our loved ones after they pass, without the burden of financial uncertainty, helps with the mourning process.”
Vanessa paints a powerful picture: “Imagine an elderly father passing away in the bed he shared with his loving spouse for over 50 years, surrounded by his children and grandchildren as he takes his last breath, free of uncertainty. A father who sought professional advice and prepared for that very moment. Leaving behind a will, testament, and a life insurance policy to help cover the cost of outstanding medical and funeral expenses. This is all possible to achieve by having a support network in place.”
To achieve this ideal, Vanessa calls for better work policies, healthcare systems, and resources to educate families on end-of-life care. “If we’re not educated enough, then teach us how to be,” she asserts.
The future of the funeral industry
Looking ahead, Vanessa foresees significant changes in consumer behavior and preferences that will reshape the industry.
“There will be a shift toward online shopping and decision-making,” she predicts. “Families will research funeral homes, compare pricing, and make initial plans from the privacy of their homes, relying less on traditional in-person consultations.”
This trend, she warns, will challenge funeral directors to adapt and embrace technology. “We will no longer be the experts in the room. Most initial questions or uncertainties will be answered online, potentially leading to a virtual experience where families don’t even need to set foot inside a funeral home.”
Overcoming challenges in leadership
As a manager, Vanessa’s greatest challenge is bridging the generational gap among her team. “The differences in beliefs, attitudes, and communication styles create mistrust and conflicts,” she explains.
To address this, Vanessa fosters a “work family” mentality through company-sponsored gatherings, mentorship pairings, and open communication.
She pairs senior employees with newcomers on work assignments, creating opportunities for collaboration and mutual learning. “An eight-hour shift together pushes them to communicate and accomplish a common goal. It’s an effective way to break down barriers and build trust.”
Lessons from a transformative career
Vanessa’s career has taught her the importance of planning for life’s inevitable end. “Most people are not prepared for or accepting of death or old age,” she notes. She urges families to plan ahead, just as they would for other milestones like weddings or retirements, to ease the emotional and financial burden on loved ones.
Her most impactful experience occurred during a consulting opportunity in Kathmandu, Nepal, in 2012. Vanessa was honored to care for Kyabje Tenga Rinpoche, a revered Buddhist teacher. “His passing was an extraordinary event in the Buddhist community,” she recalls. “The intricate rituals and funerary traditions I witnessed and participated in profoundly shaped my approach to death and dying.”
The role of celebrants in healing
Vanessa highlights the value of celebrant-led services in creating meaningful and personalized ceremonies. “Unlike traditional services, a life celebrant works closely with the family to craft a ceremony that reflects the unique essence and values of the individual,” she explains. These services incorporate music, readings, and rituals that resonate with the family, providing a healing and transformative experience.
Educating the public on death preparedness
Vanessa believes public education is key to changing how society handles death. “First, we need to accept that death is inevitable,” she says. “Then, we must plan for it.” She advocates for open conversations with loved ones, life insurance policies to cover expenses, and written wills to ensure wishes are honored. “Avoidance of the topic won’t make it any less real,” she advises.
A call to action
Vanessa Lopez’s insights are a call to action for individuals, families, and the funeral industry as a whole. By embracing change, fostering open dialogue, and planning ahead, society can transform the experience of death and dying into one of compassion, connection, and spiritual growth.
For event organizers and professionals seeking a speaker who can inspire and educate on these vital topics, Vanessa is a powerful voice with a wealth of knowledge to share.
Read more from James Marlin
James Marlin, Investigator, Journalist & Keynote Speaker
James Marlin is a professional questioner, storyteller, dad, and husband with a passion for investigating. He works to distill complex findings into actionable and relatable information through his written articles and keynote talks. Having battled and overcome addiction, James firmly believes in the power of change. In the last five years, James has dedicated himself to investigating our beliefs, emotions, the conscious and subconscious minds, addiction, ADHD, mental illness, and the impact of technology on society. James is enrolled in a Modern Journalism course with NYU in partnership with Rolling Stone Magazine. Alongside his studies, he works as an investigator in the city of New York.
