Written by: Ranya AlHusaini, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The innate guilt you are born with makes you more aware of your unconscious behaviour and actions, and the drawback of your mistakes. However, a longer period of chronic guilt can weight you down physically, and emotionally making you ill and distorted in your thinking. Guilt is an intrinsic motivator factor assisting you to never lose interest in turning your failures into positive experiences. However, too much guilt can interrupt your peace of mind, overwhelm you with chaos, and weight you down uncontrollably with the burden of your obligation.
It was found out that the Architect (INTJ) personality characterised as the thinkers are significantly prone to overthinking guilt. Going through the thinking loop of guilt will take you down the ladder of shame, regret and blame as you look back at your past, or review your reactions. Remember, your thoughts can give birth to certain feelings, and those feelings can build the skeleton of your behaviours and from there you draw the path of your destiny.
By definition, guilt is a self-conscious emotion that involves constant evaluation of the self, body image, behaviour and the feelings that come with distress, and failure. The excessive feeling of guilt can lead to many mental illnesses like depression, and post-traumatic disorder. Since guilt can be discomforting while recalling back your past experiences, and decisions. The unresolved guilt can be recurring in your looping thoughts reminding you of what happened. Adding to this, too much guilt can release the cortisol hormone in your bloodstream leading you to feel stressed after a regretful event. The good side of cortisol can motivate you to improve your anti-social behaviour in awkward situations. However, too much of cortisol can play an adverse effect in your general well-being.
The haunting feeling of guilt can take more time to get resolved, as you find difficulty putting your hand on the root- cause to this feeling. The symptoms of excessive guilt can act as a detrimental factor in your daily struggle, signs like: preoccupation of past mistakes, insomnia, regret, worry, outburst of crying, desperation in making things right, the invasion of pessimistic thoughts, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence, feeling helpless and hopeless.
How to turn guilt into six positive learning experience to boost self-confidence
1. Lead a deep conversation with the past
Chronic guilt can take you down to memory lane on how you were raised, and brought. If you were severely criticized by your parents to bring the best in you, then remember this severity is reminding you of your heavy duties. At this point, your responsibility is to create an internal dialogue between your parents and yourself, which can bring back the power to your voice. This time speak your points, your views, your feelings and how miserable you feel.
Through the dialogue your communication jump between your parents and yourself. Holding such interactive conversation will justify to your mind the meaning behind each story, or incident. Understanding here will teach you the power behind changing past scenarios, and turning your experiences into positive cornerstone to boost your self-confidence.
2. Failure is your first attempt in learning
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” - Robert F. Kennedy. When you understand that failure is your first step toward success, then failures are your strong foundation to achieve the best version of yourself. Failure, can fill the gap of your curiosity, and make you tackle any subject with a ravenous mind. Widen the space to your self-acceptance, by giving more space to learning, living and experiencing life. The wider the space, the less guilty you feel toward past mistakes and experiences
3. Unlearn negative connotations
When you unlearn all negative vocabulary, scenarios and meanings that lead you back to the feeling of helpless, and hopeless you start to learn more alternatives for a better living. More to say, shifting your energy will begin by the language you speak and the mental picture you make while speaking them. Catch your mind speaking negative, and flip the scenario of your talking into positive. Through unlearning you will understand how much power you have through your repetitive action. The more you repeat to your mind how much capable, powerful, empowering, intelligent and smart you are toward learning from your mistakes and making better resolutions the more persistence you become toward positivity.
4. Stretch your possibilities to unravel your abilities
Tackling things from different angles will teach you multiple facets to the truth you are seeking. Reality can intertwine delicately as you dig deep within the details of every aspect of the truth. Digging deep with your questions can teach you how communicating the repetitive scenarios your mind repeat will clear all congested feelings.
The more you release any pent up feeling through any form of communication such as writing will lead you to healing. Free style journaling is thought to be one of the healing techniques that allow the mind to speak freely without any restriction. Writing with no restriction will give you back the power to your life. Healing through writing will teach you how to walk down your memory lane with no fear, guilt, shame or blame. Remember, we all are sinners, and none are righteous.
5. Break down your obligations into reasonable chores
Weighing yourself down by overestimated responsibilities, one of them the feeling of others will put more burden over your shoulders. You are not solely responsible about how and what others are feeling. Your responsibility here is to break down your roles, responsibilities, duties and make space for more delegation and interaction with the people in your life. Interacting, communicating and giving ample of choices to the people in your life allow a lot of clarity to your mind. When you chunk down your priorities into small task you see them more attainable and achievable.
6. Reframe the meaning behind any negative past event
If you find yourself guilty in the past, train your mind to trace back events, review them with introspection, feel the feeling and question the situations from different point of views. Reframing your past scenarios and events will bring some light to what made you feel negative or guilty. Your “AHA moment” here is showing a lot of flexibility to your situation.
Generally, labels can restrict, confine your personal development and build resistance toward growth. However, being accountable to your action, and maintaining a fair balance to your responsibility will give some space to your mind to reframe past experiences. At this corner, you are accepting a lot of self-love, which can perfectly boost your self-confidence!
Ranya AlHusaini, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ranya Alhusaini is a mindset transformation guru. Besides, she is a Hypnotherapist, Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner and NLP. Ranya digged her way through self discovery, curiosity and knowledge. Her diverse experience and extensive knowledge in the corporate world made her sculpt a winning strategy for finding success in every endeavour she would tackle. With her experience, knowledge and passion in mindset transformation techniques, Ranya AlHusaini motivates Professional Women to step up their self-confidence, love to find success and joy. Ranya's mission is to motivate Professional Women to live a better life.
