Written by: Sarah Moody, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
If you’re lucky enough to live in California, you might be able to avoid the dreaded seasonal affective disorder. But so many of my friends and students on the East Coast, and in Europe struggle with SAD and I know you probably do too! One thing that I find absolutely mind-blowing is that amidst all of the talk about getting a happy light and drinking warm beverages and bringing plants into your home… there’s no mention of the one tool that can revolutionize your winter experience. Spoiler alert: it’s your BRAIN!!
Yes, that beautiful 3lb treasure between your ears is your most powerful tool for fighting the winter blues. Stop focusing so much on ACTIONING your way out of SAD and re-direct that energy towards using your brain to create strategies that actually work for your life. There are three cognitive tools that can help you focus your brain on surviving winter–and maybe even THRIVE.
Number One: Drop The Judgment Baby! The winter season brings with it three big stressors: the holidays, family expectations, and work expectations. The holidays are supposed to be merry and bright, the family wants to know when you’ll be available to do all the different traditions, and work wants you to close out the year with all of your T’s crossed and I’s dotted and End Of Year goals met. It’s a LOT. But the thing that makes these expectations truly unmanageable isn’t their existence. It’s the judgment of yourself that gets heaped on top that makes things feel like sh*t.
Instead of thinking thoughts to yourself like “I’m not doing enough” “I have so much to do” “There’s not enough time” “I’m not doing a good job” “I’m a mess” “I should be doing more”...TAKE A BREATH and try to drop into a neutral thought space. The easiest way to drop judgment for yourself is to take a look at the facts. This lets you get into what cognitive scientists call the “Watcher” or “Eavesdropper” of your thoughts. (maybe you’ve heard of it from meditation practices!) Remember, every thought in your brain is optional. I know it may not always feel this way at the moment, but trust me, they are.
Try it for yourself: Write out (on paper preferably) a sentence about the situation that is as neutral and factual as you can possibly make it. Here’s an example: “There are five meetings scheduled in my online calendar for December 20th, 2021.” See how factual that is? Everyone in the world would agree with me. This trains our brain to stop adding on all the extra sentences that trigger shame, overwhelm, and depression.
Number Two: Constraint is Your Friend! Have you ever noticed that nothing in nature blooms all the time? Yes, it might sound like a cheesy Instagram quote (because it is) BUT IT’S ALSO TRUE! While most animals are hunkering down for their long hibernation sleep, we humans have decided to go against the natural rhythm of darker and shorter days by doing MORE EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.
I strongly suggest you use your brain intentionally to CONSTRAIN your priorities and give yourself time to SLOW DOWN and BE STRATEGIC.
What does that look like? I think it starts by evaluating what your top three priorities are for this time of year. Is your top priority to spend time with loved ones being festive around your favorite holidays? Amazing, write that down. Is it to close out the year feeling on top of all your work and career obligations? Incredible, write that down. Is it to focus on your health and not let the endless sugar and crazy schedule interfere with your mental and physical health? You know what I’m going to say: EXCELLENT, WRITE IT DOWN!
Here’s a tip: choose your priorities based on what YOU want and need. Here is what my priorities look like in the winter: 1) Focus on my sleep, diet, and work out first, so that I feel good in my body and mind for other things. 2) Create a magical holiday experience for MYSELF and my loved ones 3) Work with my team to have a plan set to execute when we come back the first week back in January so we aren’t scrambling in the New Year. Each of these benefits me and serve the other priorities as well.
Try It For Yourself: Write down your top three priorities with clear goals on a piece of paper or a sticky note and put it where you will see it each day.
Once you have your three priorities, check to make sure what you’re spending your time on is reflecting ALL of your priorities. Not necessarily at the same time, but you should see them all reflected on the calendar in one week. If there are things that are not supporting those priorities, or if your schedule is feeling unmanageable trying to get all three done, constrain down and figure out what things you WANT to happen right now and what can be re-scheduled, re-configured or delegated out.
Number Three: Life is 50/50. Challenge Yourself to Embrace It! One of the most powerful cognitive tools I have ever learned was a simple mental re-frame: we are not supposed to be HAPPY and THRIVING all the damn time. That actually sounds kind of weird right? What if someone we loved dies? What if we’re tired? Do we have to be happy and thriving then?
Basically what I’m saying is, IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY. Now if we’re talking about a serious mental health decline, then I want you to close this article and make an appointment with a licensed care provider like a doctor or a therapist. But if you’re experiencing the standard sadness, fatigue, and boredom that comes with the shorter darker days of winter, I encourage you to practice ALLOWING those feelings.
Notice that I said ALLOW, not embrace. You don’t have to feel excited about it! But what I mean by allowing is that you notice that feeling and consciously try to drop your mind’s natural resistance to it. I like to ask myself questions so that I can understand the experience even better. Here are a few of my go-to’s:
Where do I feel this feeling in my body?
What does it feel like in my physical body?
Is it moving?
Is this sensation slow or fast?
Is this sensation light or heavy?
If it had a color, what color would it be?
If it had a texture, what texture would it be?
All of these questions help our primitive brain (our limbic system and lizard brain) and our prefrontal cortex (our human brain) to join together and get us out of the fear and frustration that comes with experiencing negative emotions. It gives our brain time to process the physical sensation in our body, and neuroscience tells us the sensations usually pass in about 90 seconds!
Try It for Yourself: Set an alarm on your phone three times a day (morning, afternoon, and evening) to observe your feelings for 3 minutes each. It might sound silly, but the more practice you have with observing and allowing your feelings, the easier it will become!
When you are able to observe your feelings without resistance, you will likely also notice that you feel less negative emotion overall! That’s because when we get rid of our unconscious expectations and resentment of our emotional state, we can experience both POSITIVE and negative feelings more clearly.
Bonus: Get Curious! I want to be crystal clear: I’m not against doing things to make yourself feel better. In fact, I encourage it! Engaging your brain is simply another tool to add to your toolbox, and I guarantee that it will make the process infinitely easier and more effective. Once you’ve implemented neutrality, constraint, and allowing your feelings, I then invite you to GET CURIOUS about what you might even LIKE about the winter season or what you might want to change about your life in the winter.
Here are a few examples from my own life: by getting curious I discovered that I like to take my dog on a walk during lunchtime in the winter, instead of after work, so that I can enjoy more sunshine. I found that I LOVE having lots of lamps and scented candles in my home in the winter and that lighting them is such a fun ritual. I found that I love the crisp and refreshing air when I exercise outside. I found that I am more excited about one-on-one meetups with friends or small groups, rather than big events and parties, so I prioritize that interaction. And I found that snuggling in my cozy bed with my dog on the weekends is EXACTLY what the doctor ordered during the winter!
What about you? What do you love, like, or want to change/add to your life during the winter months?
Sarah Moody, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sarah is the only certified coach who:
Recovered from decades of anorexia and bulimia.
Has been a tech veteran for the past 20 years and started a company from scratch after getting fired from a job in 2001. Clients are some of the largest software enterprises in the world, and the company has grown by over 400% in revenue.
Has coached hundreds of clients and is on a mission to help other high achievers like herself, break through burnout and bring magic back into their career and life.
