Written by: Calvin Niles, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A young girl went through a thick forest on the way to see her sick grandmother. There she was accosted by a duplicitous predator who was keen to have her to himself. After the conniving beast got more information from her about her plans, he persuaded her to leave the path through the woods to pick flowers for her grandmother. While she was distracted, he ran to her grandmother’s house and lay in wait…
You may recognise this tale from childhood as Little Red Riding Hood. And you may have heard the tale differently. The likelihood of you hearing this story with a different ending is very high. That is because that story was told in many different ways over many generations. Countless arguments have been had as to the true meaning of Little Red Riding Hood. Some have said that the story highlights absent fathers, others describe it as an allegory of resurrection, a story about pregnancy, a feminist story about patriarchal abuse or a tale of transformation and rebirth. These differences in meaning are what give such stories their beauty. They can be told in many different ways, depending on the perspective we take at any given time. Less important is the question of which is true but rather — if our individual perspectives shape the meaning of our stories — the true question is, what awareness are we bringing to the stories we are telling ourselves about ourselves and others?
American writer and professor of literature Joseph Campbell worked in comparative mythology. He popularised The Hero’s Journey, which used to express the universal story of human experience where the hero of the story goes through a journey of transformation. We see it in mainstream stories all over the world but more pertinently we see it in our lives.
“A story is a choreographed hallucination that temporarily displaces reality. At the behest of the storyteller, this conjured world may mimic perceived reality, perhaps rehearsing a past experience; it may modify reality, placing proxies of actual people in hypothetical scenarios or fictional people in familiar settings; or it may abandon reality for a realm of fantasy.” – Ferris Jabr
1. Step back and look at your stories from a distance
William Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” When we first step back from the play happening on the stage, we can better see the story playing out. In other words, we need to become aware of the stories we are narrating in our heads so that we can see the story we have projected onto the stage of our lives. Since many of the stories we tell often playout unconsciously, we need to step back to see better. You can do this by starting a meditation habit. Once you step back, pay attention to the characters, the plot, and meaning of the story.
2. Try a different perspective
Joseph Campbell helpfully highlights that on the hero’s journey we also have allies. Our allies are there to help us on our journey, they are constructive elements and can be a powerful resource. Let’s imagine one of your allies is your spiritual advisor Jerry, you can ask yourself, “how would Jerry see this event differently to me?” Or, sometimes your allies can even be your values. Let’s say one of your values is resilience, you might ask, “if I was the perfect example of resilience right now, how would the story I am telling change?” When we start to use the support available from our allies, it can be a safe and easy way to help develop new perspectives.
“Becoming psychologically flexible is key to personal transformation, not over-attaching to your current identity or perspectives. Becoming insatiably committed to a future purpose and embracing emotions rather than avoiding them is how radical change occurs.” – Benjamin Hardy
Storytelling has been around since humans developed language and varied from one storyteller to the next, one village to the other, and from generation to generation. It would be unsurprising to learn that stories would be told according to the prevailing consciousness of the time they are told, reflecting the personal beliefs of the teller and set in a certain historical context. Because stories are told by people, it cannot be overlooked that every narrative – the way the story is told — is influenced by the personal narrative of the teller.
Stories are not fixed.
Stories give meaning.
Stories are alive.
When you next hear a story, be it an age-old fairy tale or one emanating from your own mind remember that the stories we tell have incredible power. They can infuse our lives with a sense of purpose, or they can imprison us, depending on the way we tell those stories. How we use stories can shape our perception of reality. We shouldn’t hold on too tightly to the stories but we can use them constructively and admire their beauty – holding them loosely, as one would hold a butterfly. Are you ready to transform?
Before you create a new story for your life, you need to make space for it to happen. Get Calvin's free guide to simplify your life and make way for the things that matter. Connect with him on Instagram or visit his website for more.
Calvin Niles, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Calvin Niles is known as The Mindful Storyteller and is an award-winning coach and consultant. He is the best-selling author of The Sun Rises in Eastmoor, co-host of Mindful Conversations Podcast and is a transformative storytelling expert to leading individuals and organisations. Calvin thrives when enabling impactful ways to relate and communicate with ourselves and each other so that everyone can reach their potential. You can find him at calvinniles.com.
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