Written by: Dr. Tonia Winchester, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We’ve all heard of limiting beliefs, and how they impact our ability to move forward and reach our goals. They can be small like, “I can’t figure out these social media ads,” or big and deeper like, “I don’t have anything interesting to say.” Regardless of their size and their depth, they hang out under the surface of our unconscious mind and block us from taking the actions necessary to get to where we want to get to in life.
Thankfully, just as success leaves clues, so does limitation. It’s actually quite easy to determine what your limiting results are. There are two main ones:
Looking at your results
Listening to the language that you use
First, Look at Your Results.
When you look at what you have in your life, whether you like it or not, know that at some level you’re focused on it and committed to it, unconsciously of course.
If you just can’t seem to commit to the healthy habit that you know will help improve your fitness level – let's say it’s walking 4 days a week – then you’re committed to the process of not creating and maintaining that walking habit.
If you’re having trouble cold calling to generate leads in your business, then you’re committed to not generating leads that could become customers.
The results that you have are a consequence of your behavior, and your behavior is a consequence of your focus.
Your focus is an accumulation of your thoughts, values, beliefs, and attitudes.
Following the trail back from results to focus, and then deeper into beliefs, you might learn that your deep limiting belief is that you don’t think you have what it takes to be healthy and fit, or to be a successful entrepreneur. As long as you believe that you can never be, do, or have what you want, you’re very unlikely to take the actions to get there.
It’s as if there is a glitch between the conscious mind (the goal setter) and the unconscious mind (the goal-getter). If the unconscious mind believes you’re not worthy of reaching those goals, you won’t.
Essentially in this instance, you’re committed to not reaching your goals, unconsciously.
The first way to identify your deep, underlying, limiting beliefs is to look at what you’re getting (or not getting) in your life and work backwards. Remember both success and limitations leave clues.
The Unconscious Mind
Let’s take a quick detour and discuss the unconscious mind before moving on to the second way to identify your limiting beliefs.
The unconscious mind is the key to overcoming limiting beliefs because all change, learning, healing and habits happen there.
The unconscious mind is the part of you that you're not aware of. Stop right now and think about who is breathing for you? Beating your heart? Who or what is growing your hair? It’s the part of you that’s deep below the surface of your awareness.
Even with access to the full scope of knowledge of what is required to grow your hair, you wouldn’t consciously be able to tell your body to stop or start growing your hair, would you? No. It’s happening unconsciously. Same with growing your nails, digesting your food, beating your heart, and healing your body and mind including your anxiety or burnout.
Your Unconscious Mind Filters Reality
Every second we are bombarded with 2 million to 6 billion bits of information received from our 5 senses that goes into our brains and our nervous systems. Our brains have the capacity to manage no more than 134 bits per second.
That means there is anywhere from 1,999,866 to 5,999,999,866 bits of information every second that our unconscious mind literally can’t handle and has to filter just so that we can manage our reality.
Your unconscious mind has three main filters:
It deletes – most of the information is deleted (I share an example below)
It generalizes, by making assumptions by comparing the information to what you’ve already experienced. For example, you don’t need to relearn how to use a pencil every time you pick it up.
It distorts, by changing details and creating false memories
Years ago, my husband built a set of shelves for my clinic to put our natural remedies and products on. After he completed the installation, I walked into the clinic and from my 5’2” vantage point I could see the underside of the shelves, which he didn’t paint. I generalized, “Honey, you didn’t paint the shelves!” and from his 6’4” vantage looking down on the tops of the shelves he says, “Yes I did!”
He deleted the underside of the shelves, because he didn’t even see them! I knew at that moment that our views on the world would never be the same simply because of the 14 inches of height difference between us. We also filter on anatomy let alone our different backgrounds, upbringing, values, and beliefs.
Now that you’re aware of these filters you’re going to start to see them in the people you interact with.
Recently a rock hit my window and created quite the blemish. The fellow at the glass repair place told me that it was too big to fill and that I would have to replace the windshield. This is verbatim (not distorted in any way) the conversation i had with him:
Tonia: Oh. Okay. What is my next best step?
Glass guy: Now, winter is coming.
Tonia: Yes. And how specifically does that affect my decision about what my next best step should be?
Glass guy: Weather is changing.
Tonia: Yes, that’s right. And what specifically do you mean when you say the weather is changing?
Glass guy: Rocks and salt.
Tonia: Yes, rocks and salt. So what are you suggesting for me to do right now?
Glass guy: Spring is right around the corner.
Tonia: Yes, spring comes after winter. Are you specifically suggesting I wait until the spring to replace the windshield?
Glass guy: Most people would.
“Based on what vague recommendation?” I wondered. Do you see how he deleted so much of what he was wanting to get across? He assumed that I would fill in the gaps and infer what he was implying.
Thankfully I knew the golden question that helps recover what is lost in the filtering process. I kept using the word specifically and eventually I got the advice I was seeking.
Our perceived reality is NOT reality.
Limiting beliefs are a big driver of these filters, which is why becoming aware of them is a helpful way to uncover our limiting beliefs. The data that is filtered out is recoverable when you know what to look for.
Second, Listen to Your Language
You must become aware of your filters if you want to uncover more of your limiting beliefs.
Your verbal language can be really helpful to determine your filters. The words you use not only communicate and describe your experience but are actually HOW you experience the world.
The words we use give us clues about how we filter our present experiences based on our past ones. I suggest you become an expert at watching the language you use – especially what you say spontaneously and unconsciously.
You’ll get a lot of information about what is going on under the surface in your unconscious mind.
There are several language patterns that you can start to watch out for. Get a filter buddy and start gently calling each other out when you hear any of the following phrases:
Universal Qualifiers:
Always
Never
Everyone
No one
Modal Operators:
Should
Must
Need to
Have to
Can’t
A simple shift for yourself can go a long way. You can say instead, “I get to…” or “I choose to…”
Nominalizations
This is when we distort a process or a verb and we turn it into a noun. We stop the process from being something we can do or change to something that just is.
Consider the word communication. This is a thing, a noun, right? Actually, it’s about communicating, which is something we do. It’s a process and a behavior. For example, if you said about your spouse, “The communication is terrible.” Turn it back into a verb. Who specifically is not communicating with whom? Or maybe you say, “The relationship isn’t working!” Flip it back to a process. How exactly are you not relating?
What about health? That’s about healing. Success? That’s about succeeding. You’re starting to get it, aren’t you now?
These language patterns can help you uncover your limiting beliefs which are not unconditional truths and can be changed. More on that in a future article here on Brainz Magazine, but the first step is to uncover them.
Use the two strategies in this article (look at your results, and listen to your words) to begin that process of discovery.
This article is an adapted expert from my book "Smiling in the Shower: The surprisingly simple path to break through burnout and create happy, energized days." due out early March 2022. If you’d like to be the first in line to get your copy you can sign up for the waitlist right here.
To your discovery process,
Dr. Tonia Winchester, ND
Brain-Based Transformational Guide
Certified NLP and Time Line Therapy ® Practitioner
BOOK Your free 25 mins Breakthrough Discovery call to find out how I can help you uncover and reprogram your limiting beliefs.
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Dr. Tonia Winchester, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Tonia has been practicing as a Naturopathic Doctor since 2007. With contemporary neurological reprogramming techniques, she helps women overcome burnout, stress, anxiety, and fatigue. Essentially she helps them calm their minds, sleep deeply, and find joy and energy in their lives again. Guiding clients through a "Breakthrough" process, they recode their unconscious minds for change, self-care, and success, priming them to create new, healthy, sustainable habits. Dr. Tonia has been featured on CTV, the Costco Connection, The Elephant Journal, Conscious Nutrition, The Autoimmune Simplified Podcast, and the New Generation Entrepreneur Podcast. Ultimately she helps everyday people create exceptional lives for themselves and their communities. To learn more about her brain-based coaching breakthroughs, head on over to https://www.toniawinchester.com/breakthrough/
