Written by: Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
My client Maritza, is a young woman from Pennsylvania. She was 3 months pregnant with her second child when she first reached out to me looking for help. She was full of anxiety, fear, frustration, and even hopelessness. Her relationship of 5 years was quickly deteriorating and she was feeling like she was sinking in quicksand. Her partner and the father of this baby and their 18-month-old child were no longer living together. They had very little engagement and only interacted about their daughter’s needs.
They were both hurting and feeling completely disconnected. She was losing hope of ever getting to a place of love, intimacy, and certainty.
According to her, their relationship has been in the turmoil since the beginning and she never felt loved, taken care of, or content. For over 5 years she and her partner were struggling to get on the same page and establish a level of commitment where she could feel safe. She wanted to feel confident in her relationship knowing that her partner will be there for her and the children. She wanted to feel safe and be able to trust him and not have to worry about him leaving her or looking at other girls.
The constant anxiety she felt was excruciating. It was draining her mental and emotional state and diminishing her confidence. The turmoil in her personal life was taking a toll on her well-being. It drained her energy away from her career/business. She spent years trying to get her partner to be closer to her and understand her, but despite her efforts, he was pulling further and further away from her.
She was contemplating calling it quits and going their separate ways because she ran out of ways of trying to make the relationship work. She didn't know how to get her partner to love her, listen to her and understand her. She didn’t know how to get him to fully commit to her. She didn’t know how to get them into a place where he wanted to be with her and evolve together as a family.
While Maritza was looking for intimacy, connection, and understanding, her partner was acting distant, cold, and aloof. Regardless of how much she tried to get his attention, he continued to act indifferent. He was absent, lived in his own world, and his actions clearly stated that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with her.
This was breaking her heart. She was feeling devastated and had no idea how to make things work. This constant state of stress and uncertainty was impacting her online business she was working so hard to get off the ground. With the relationship draining her energy, she could not be fully present in it.
I remember how fragile and lost she felt when we first met when she told me her story. However, things started changing for the better for her after only a few sessions of us working together.
I’ve been blessed to have been trained by the brilliant relationship guru Dr. John Gray and am intimately familiar with his Mars Venus relationship tools and strategies. As I do with all my clients, I taught Maritza the Mars Venus tools and strategies and to Mariza’s credit, she listened raptly, studied diligently, and applied relentlessly what I was teaching her. And to her disbelief (but of absolutely no surprise to me), the resistance between her and her partner started to fade away.
For the first time since they met, he was becoming more open, communicative, receptive, and caring. He was, appreciative of her company, interested in her ideas, and actually listening to what she had to say.
Within a few months and a few sessions later, as Maritza continued to listen to, study, and apply the Mars Venus tools and strategies I was teaching her, the relationship continued to positively evolve. There was less resistance and more flow, less distance and more connection, less disagreement, and more unity.
As she continued to apply the Mars Venus tools and strategies, she continued to be pleasantly surprised how her partner started to be more open and understanding. How he started opening up and communicating more with her. How their time together became more enjoyable as they were now having fun, laughing, watching movies, playing cards, going out, taking their daughter to fun places, and spending time as a family.
Things started to evolve in the way she always wanted them to be!
Great things happen when Dr. Gray’s teachings are followed. The dynamic shifted to where HE was the one now who was initiating. Things they used to argue about or she had to ‘inspire’ or ‘convince’ him to do, HE was initiating. He was planning their time together and leading their relationship. He was present and involved with their life.
Everything she always wanted him to do, suddenly he was doing it. She didn't have to call or text him a million times. She didn't have to nag and beg him for attention. He was genuinely interested in doing things and sharing his time with HER.
The reason for this dramatic change was that Maritza was applying the Mar Venus strategies and tools that I taught her. In applying these concepts means that she changed the way she showed up in a relationship. She took responsibility for her part and transformed her ways. She understood and applied the dynamics of Gender Intelligence, feminine and masculine energies, and polarity. Applying these concepts creates increased intimacy, connection and motivates the man to pursue and lead. Once she learned and applied these strategies and surrendered to her feminine side, a space for him to step up and ‘be a man’ was created.
My goal is to make the world a better place by creating one amazing relationship at a time. I have been blessed to learn from the best, Dr. Gray’s. His Mar Venus course has provided me with world-class tools to accomplish my goal.
Maritza is a living, breathing example of how one person, a woman, can create an enormous change in the relationship simply by shifting herself. A woman has the power to shift the dynamic and change the entire relationship when she has the right tools. Maritza’s relationship was saved because of the fundamental Mars Venus philosophy that I taught her and that she listened to, studied, and applied.
Mission accomplished with Martiza. Her and her partner and their young, growing family are now evolving and growing down a path of respect, reciprocity, and love.
However, there are many other people out there struggling in their relationships. Ending up in the divorce court and spending the rest of their lives engaged in petty, draining, counter-productive fighting and arguing over money and children instead of learning and applying Mars Venus techniques that teach you how to effectively handle basic relationship matters.
This understanding is the difference between a life of heartbreak, petty arguing, and broken families and a life of love, nurture, and caring. When one understands how to inspire the desired action in their partner, how to create attraction and polarity in a relationship, and how to understand and fulfill each other's needs, everything changes.
I can teach you these Mars Venus philosophies and teachings. Work with me and be a success story like Maritza.
I loved working with Maritza and she was amazing to work with. While John Gray developed the methods and I did the teaching, she did the work on herself. By listening intently, studying diligently, and applying relentlessly, Maritza:
Shifted her relationship mindset,
Learned how to manage her emotions and triggers,
Adopted new, improved effective relationship tools,
Changed her perception of men and relationships,
Evolved her communication techniques,
Acted with a newfound certainty, confidence, and feminine charm,
Changed the way she perceived her partner and adjusted her pre-conditioned views of men,
AND created the biggest shift in the relationship when she really understood her partner and HIS needs instead of just focusing on her own.
Thanks to the Mars Venus techniques, my coaching, and Martiza’s hard work and positive energy Maritza:
Saw that when she shifted her focus, she realized how unconsciously she was hurting him and pushing him away all these years.
Now knows that by truly understanding Gender Intelligence and men’s biological, physiological and psychological makeup, she was able to shift her relationship just by shifting herself and her own ways.
Let her partner naturally respond to her feminine ways and her radiant feminine energy and create polarity and re-ignited connection between them.
Here’s Maritza’s view in her own words!
“Hello Oksana, I am so happy to say that things in my relationship are so much better. So much good is happening right now, I am in a full-blown birth preparation mode, I want to continue our coaching sessions to continue to amplify our results.
Congratulations on the co-authoring with John Gray, it’s very exciting and so fitting. I have to admit, I like John Gray but I LOVE you! :))))
I am excited for that opportunity for you so that more people can receive your work because honestly when I started working with you, I wanted things to improve, I wanted things to get better but I honestly didn’t know if it was even possible.
It is so amazing to experience my relationship at this new level. I love having this experience with my partner that we truly never had together before. We feel closer to each other and we both love it and I just pray for it to continue to grow.
It feels so good when you just get to experience the simplification of love. Thank you so so much, Oksana. Honestly, I don't have the words to truly express my gratitude. I wish I could talk to you every day.”
If you want results like Maritza, join me in my DREAM GIRL FREQUENCY Program and help me continue to reach my goal of making the world a better place one relationship at a time.
Heartbreak or love, arguing or nurturing, fighting or caring, the choice is yours. If you join me and do the work like Martiza, you will see a profound change in your love life. You will take back your power and happiness, remove resistance, alleviate frustration and stress and create flow, connection, and deep intimacy.
Not all relationships are meant to end. A LOT of them not only can be saved but can be turned around and THRIVE in the right conditions and with the right energy.
You can turn around YOUR relationship and your ‘luck in love’ when you have the right tools, the right mindset, and the right energy.
The 6 Months DREAM GIRL FREQUENCY Program is open!
Oh yes, while Maritza has let the proverbial ‘cat out of the bag’ above, I have been blessed with the opportunity to write a book with the amazing, 50 million-copy selling, Mars Venus author Dr. John Gray. I am so excited for this opportunity to work with this amazing man and share my message and story with readers around the world. While I consciously and regularly work on manifesting an amazing life, sometimes the Universe delivers things that are simply beyond expectations.
Message me for more info or to book a free discovery call.
Cheers to your happiness!!
If you want to have success, Every. Single. Time in your dating experience without relying on ‘luck’ or ‘chance’, connect with me at my LinkedIn, Facebook Profile and connect with me on Instagram or visit my website. I look forward to sharing my zone of genius with you!
Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Oksana Irwin is a Certified Mars – Venus Life and Relationship Coach, trained by the legendary John Gray. She is on a continuing mission to change the world one love story at a time!
Oksana is a leader in the dating and relationship coaching field. She equips her clients with powerful behaviors, winning mindsets, and gender intelligence knowledge that empowers them to unleash their mental and emotional constraints and achieve their very best in love, life, and career.
Within 3 years of sadly losing both her long-term marriage and role in a thriving family business, Oksana has created a new loving, passionate relationship and built a successful coaching business. She turned her pain into passion, passion into purpose, and purpose into profit by helping many women along the way.
She impacts her clients by unlocking access to feminine power, lowering stress, and skyrocketing confidence. Her clients learn effective and powerful gender dynamics, sufficient hormonal balance, and potent attraction and polarity techniques that produce outstanding results in creating loving and lasting passionate relationships and thriving successful and fulfilling lives.
